Can you correct /my letter

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Can you correct /my letter
Message de sasha200 posté le 16-01-2019 à 18:28:32 (S | E | F)
Hi Everyone,
can someone help to correct this email please?
Thank you for any reply..

I am contacting you today to see if you are accepting volunteer nurse, I am a licensed accountant in NY, I got your contact information when I stopped by the Harris teeter near Holp Loring metro, I talked to the senior nurse Dr.Jason and he encouraged me to contact you
Currently, I am volunteering as a nurse and enjoyed being able to help underserved patients. In this position, I assisted with health programs. Unfortunately, in the clinic we do not deal with many drugs and insurances issues, I am lacking the experience of the real clinic setting. In addition to speaking English, I am able to support the care of patients by also being able to speak Spanish, French, and German.
I would be thrilled to have the opportunity to assist you. My schedule is flexible; I am free weekends and Mondays/ Fridays/ Tuesday Morning.
Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-01-2019 18:41

Réponse : Can you correct /my letter de sherry48, postée le 16-01-2019 à 19:58:37 (S | E)
Hello. Here are some things to take another look at.
I am contacting you today to see if you are accepting volunteer nurse (PLURAL), I am a licensed accountant (comptable?) in NY. I got your contact information when I stopped by the Harris teeter near Holp Loring metro. I talked to the senior nurse, Dr.Jason and he encouraged me to contact you.
Currently, I am volunteering (or present simple) as a nurse and enjoyed (PRESENT SIMPLE) being able to help underserved patients. In this position, I assisted (PRESENT SIMPLE) with health programs. Unfortunately, in the clinic we do not deal with many drugs and insurances (NOT PLURAL-USED AS ADJECTIVE) issues, I am lacking (PRESENT SIMPLE) ~~the~~ experience in a real clinic setting. In addition to speaking English, I am able to support the care of patients by (also being able to speak-you could use a gerund here) Spanish, French, and German.
I would be thrilled to have the opportunity to assist you. My schedule is flexible; I am free weekends, Mondays, Fridays, and Tuesday morning(s).
Thank you for your consideration.

For verbs that are repeated, habitual actions, I suggest PRESENT SIMPLE; past tense is not good. If you want to emphasize that these actions are ongoing at the present, it may be able to use be+verb+ing.
I'm not sure what you mean by teeter.
A nurse would not use the title, "Dr".
Sherry

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