Ex 211/work with us, please

Ex 211/work with us, please
Message de here4u posté le 14-09-2021 à 18:32:33 (S | E | F)
Hello dear hard-workers!

I hope everyone has finished their holidays by now... and I that many of you will work on this last part of the text...

The passage isn't difficult to understand, but you may have to think a little to find the right tenses, once again. As for the optional expression, you'll have a choice between several topics around the central issue. You'll simply have to choose what focus you prefer...

Cet exercice est un et la correction sera en ligne le mercredi 29 septembre 2021. Go for it!

I) Translate into French:

… One of the men – it might have been Stuart – waded in and got her. He took her by the fingers and pulled her into shore. He got some nylon cord and tied it to her wrist and then looped the rest around a tree.
The next morning, they cooked breakfast, drank coffee, and drank whiskey, and then split up to fish. That night they cooked fish, cooked potatoes, drank coffee, drank whiskey, then took their cooking things and eating things back down to the river and washed them where the girl was.
They played some cards later on. Maybe they played until they couldn’t see them anymore. Vern Williams went to sleep. But the others told stories. Gordon Johnson said the trout they’d caught were hard because of the terrible coldness of the water.
The next morning they got up late, drank whiskey, fished a little, took down their tents, rolled their tents, rolled their sleeping bags, gathered their stuff, and hiked out. They drove until they got to a telephone. It was Stuart who made the call while the others stood around in the sun and listened. He gave the sheriff their names. They had nothing to hide. They weren’t ashamed. They said they’d wait until someone could come for better directions and take down their statements.

Raymond CARVER, Short Cuts.

II) EXPRESSION : optional. In 130 words, express yourself about one of the following questions :
1) Choose an adjective qualifying the men’s reaction and justify this adjective thanks to the text (do NOT quote it!)
OR 2) «They weren’t ashamed»; were they "right" not to be? Why or why not? (or should they have been? why?)
OR 3) "Guilty, or not guilty?" of what?

THE FORCE is with you... Thanks for working with this group!

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Réponse : Ex 211/work with us, please de taiji43, postée le 18-09-2021 à 19:15:09 (S | E)
Dear Here4U
Yes, we understand the story plot very well, it is a story of an event that happened in the past, but what tense should be used ... The future will tell us,... the day of the correction.

One of the men – it might have been Stuart – waded in and got her. He took her by the fingers and pulled her into shore. He got some nylon cord and tied it to her wrist and then looped the rest around a tree.
The next morning, they cooked breakfast, drank coffee, and drank whiskey, and then split up to fish. That night they cooked fish, cooked potatoes, drank coffee, drank whiskey, then took their cooking things and eating things back down to the river and washed them where the girl was.
They played some cards later on. Maybe they played until they couldn’t see them anymore. Vern Williams went to sleep. But the others told stories. Gordon Johnson said the trout they’d caught were hard because of the terrible coldness of the water.
The next morning they got up late, drank whiskey, fished a little, took down their tents, rolled their tents, rolled their sleeping bags, gathered their stuff, and hiked out. They drove until they got to a telephone. It was Stuart who made the call while the others stood around in the sun and listened. He gave the sheriff their names. They had nothing to hide. They weren’t ashamed. They said they’d wait until someone could come for better directions and take down their statements.

READY TO BE CORRECTED

L'un des hommes – cela aurait pu être Stuart – est entré et l'a attrapée. Il l'a prise par les doigts et l'a tirée vers le rivage. Il a pris une corde en nylon et l'a attachée à son poignet, puis a enroulé le reste autour d'un arbre. Le lendemain matin, ils ont préparé le petit-déjeuner, bu du café et du whisky, puis se sont séparés pour pêcher. Cette nuit-là, ils ont cuisiné du poisson, des pommes de terre, bu du café, bu du whisky, puis ont ramené leurs ustensiles de cuisine et leurs aliments dans la rivière et les ont lavés là où se trouvait la fille.
Ils ont joué quelques cartes plus tard. Peut-être qu'ils ont joué jusqu'à ce qu'ils ne puissent plus les voir. Vern Williams s'endormit. Mais les autres racontaient des histoires. Gordon Johnson a déclaré que les truites qu'ils avaient capturées étaient dures à cause de la terrible froideur de l'eau. Le lendemain matin, ils se levèrent tard, burent du whisky, pêchèrent un peu, démontèrent leurs tentes, roulèrent leurs tentes, roulèrent leurs sacs de couchage, rassemblèrent leurs affaires et sortirent à pied. Ils ont conduit jusqu'à ce qu'ils arrivent à un téléphone. C'est Stuart qui a passé l'appel pendant que les autres se tenaient au soleil et écoutaient. Il a donné leurs noms au shérif. Ils n'avaient rien à cacher. Ils n'avaient pas honte. Ils ont dit qu'ils attendraient que quelqu'un puisse venir pour de meilleures instructions et noter leurs déclarations.

II) In PROGRESS

II) In PROGRESS GUILTY OR NOT GUILTY and WHY
Dear Her4U,
Here is, , my opinion on their guilt.

Thank you for your correction

They are absolutely not guilty of the murder of the woman found dead in the water, by sheer chance during a fishing trip... on the other hand, all guilty of a disrespectful behaviour towards a human being , a young woman tying her up and abandoning her on the shore like a dead fish, animal or a parcel ...Guilty for their insensitivity : even confronted with a committed murder without expressing the slightest torment...Guilty for their indifference choosing to return home, and live everyday life, and even return to fishing the day after ...Guilty because not for a moment, near the corpse, they had decided that the most important action would be to inform the police … Guilty for expressing themselves a total attitude of irresponsibility and immorality in front of the police .133

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Réponse : Ex 211/work with us, please de melena53, postée le 18-09-2021 à 21:57:26 (S | E)
Hello Here4u, pleased to try this new challenge

… One of the men – it might have been Stuart – waded in and got her. He took her by the fingers and pulled her into shore. He got some nylon cord and tied it to her wrist and then looped the rest around a tree.
The next morning, they cooked breakfast, drank coffee, and drank whiskey, and then split up to fish. That night they cooked fish, cooked potatoes, drank coffee, drank whiskey, then took their cooking things and eating things back down to the river and washed them where the girl was.
They played some cards later on. Maybe they played until they couldn’t see them anymore. Vern Williams went to sleep. But the others told stories. Gordon Johnson said the trout they’d caught were hard because of the terrible coldness of the water.
The next morning they got up late, drank whiskey, fished a little, took down their tents, rolled their tents, rolled their sleeping bags, gathered their stuff, and hiked out. They drove until they got to a telephone. It was Stuart who made the call while the others stood around in the sun and listened. He gave the sheriff their names. They had nothing to hide. They weren’t ashamed. They said they’d wait until someone could come for better directions and take down their statements.
Ready to be corrected🎈
L'un des hommes – cela aurait pu être Stuart – pataugeant dans l’eau, l'a attrapée. Il l’a prise par les doigts et l’a tirée vers le rivage. Il a pris une corde en nylon et l'a lui a attachée au poignet, puis il a enroulé le reste de la corde autour d'un arbre.
Le lendemain matin, ils ont préparé le petit-déjeuner, bu du café et du whisky, puis se sont séparés pour pêcher. Cette nuit-là, ils ont cuisiné du poisson, des pommes de terre, bu du café, bu du whisky, puis ils ont ramené leurs ustensiles de cuisine et leurs vaisselles dans la rivière et les ont lavés là où se trouvait la fille.
Plus tard ils ont joué quelques parties de cartes. Peut-être qu’ils ont joué jusqu'à ce qu'ils ne puissent plus voir les cartes. Vern Williams alla dormir. Mais les autres racontaient des histoires. Gordon Johnson disait que les truites qu'ils avaient capturées étaient dures à cause de la terrible froideur de l'eau.
Le lendemain matin, ils se sont levés tard, ont bu du whisky, pêché un peu, ont démonté leurs tentes, ont roulé leurs tentes, roulé leurs sacs de couchage, rassemblé leurs affaires et sont partis. Ils ont conduit jusqu'à ce qu'ils trouvent un téléphone. C'est Stuart qui a passé l'appel pendant que les autres se tenaient au soleil et écoutaient. Il a donné leurs noms au shérif. Ils n'avaient rien àcacher. Ils n'avaient pas honte. Ils ont dit qu'ils attendraient jusqu’à ce que quelqu'un puisse venir afin de donner une meilleure localisation et qu'on prenne note de leurs déclarations.

II) EXPRESSION : optional. In 130 words, express yourself about one of the following questions :
1) Choose an adjective qualifying the men’s reaction and justify this adjective thanks to the text (do NOT quote it!)

INHUMAN,is the adjective I have finally chosen among lots of other "bird names".
They are all inhuman to the point of treating a dead woman like a vulgar" lost object"without any value.
Inhuman to be able to eat, drink, fish and especially to be able to sleep and wait two days before warning the police.
Inhuman to have the audacity , not only to think so, but also to claim out loud that they don't have to be ashamed.
How dare they to think they can keep "chin up"and that they did nothing wrong!!!
Surely they thought that it would have been "inhuman" to ruin and spoil their enjoyement.

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Réponse : Ex 211/work with us, please de magie8, postée le 21-09-2021 à 01:14:18 (S | E)
hello bonjour ready to correct

I) Translate into French:

… One of the men – it might have been Stuart – waded in and got her. He took her by the fingers and pulled her into shore. He got some nylon cord and tied it to her wrist and then looped the rest around a tree.
The next morning, they cooked breakfast, drank coffee, and drank whiskey, and then split up to fish. That night they cooked fish, cooked potatoes, drank coffee, drank whiskey, then took their cooking things and eating things back down to the river and washed them where the girl was.
They played some cards later on. Maybe they played until they couldn’t see them anymore. Vern Williams went to sleep. But the others told stories. Gordon Johnson said the trout they’d caught were hard because of the terrible coldness of the water.
The next morning they got up late, drank whiskey, fished a little, took down their tents, rolled their tents, rolled their sleeping bags, gathered their stuff, and hiked out. They drove until they got to a telephone. It was Stuart who made the call while the others stood around in the sun and listened. He gave the sheriff their names. They had nothing to hide. They weren’t ashamed. They said they’d wait until someone could come for better directions and take down their statements.

Raymond CARVER, Short Cuts.

-L'un des hommes- C'était peut-être Stuart- a pataugé et l'a récupérée. Il l'a prise par les doigts et l'a tirée sur la terre ferme. Il s'est muni d'une corde de nylon et l'a attachée à son poignet, puis a enroulé le reste de la corde autour d'un arbre. Le lendemain matin, ils ont préparé le petit déjeuner, bu le café et du whisky , puis se sont dispersés pour pécher. Cette nuit-là, ils ont fait cuire le poisson, et des pommes de terre, bu café et whisky, puis ils ont emporté la vaisselle et les reliefs du repas qu'ils ont lavés dans la rivière à l'endroit où se trouvait la fille. Plus tard ils ont joué aux cartes. Ils ont joué probablement jusqu'à ce qu'ils ne puissent plus voir les cartes. Vern Williams est allé dormir. Mais les autres, ont raconté des histoires. Gordon a dit que les truites qu'ils avaient attrapées étaient dures à cause de la froideur de l'eau. Le lendemain matin ils se sont levés tard, ont bu du whisky, ont pêché un peu, ont démonté leurs tentes , roulé leurs sacs de couchage, sont partis à pied jusqu'aux voitures. Ils ont roulé jusqu'à ce qu'ils trouvent un téléphone. C'est Stuart qui a passé l'appel pendant que les autres restaient debout au soleil et écoutaient. Il a donné leurs noms au shérif. Ils n'avaient rien à cacher. Ils n'avaient même pas honte. Ils ont dit qu'ils attendraient que quelqu'un vienne pour de plus amples indications et noter leurs déclarations. .


II) EXPRESSION : optional. In 130 words, express yourself about one of the following questions :
1) Choose an adjective qualifying the men’s reaction and justify this adjective thanks to the text (do NOT quote it!)
OR 2) «They weren’t ashamed»; were they "right" not to be? Why or why not? (or should they have been? why?)
OR 3) "Guilty, or not guilty?" of what?

2)What we can blame them for, is that they could treated the dead girl better. Taking the body out of the water, to prevent that it from disappering forever, was not a bad idea. However, they could do it with more respect. For example by lying down the body on the bank and covering it. Two men could have gone to warn the competent autorities while the other two could keep vigil beside. They should have been ashamed of not having acted in this way. Shamed for not having changed anything about their project, instead that they joked, drank, ate, slept well, and waiting for two days before warning. 108

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Réponse : Ex 211/work with us, please de maxwell, postée le 26-09-2021 à 08:25:09 (S | E)
Hello Here4U
I'm running out of time but I'm glad I've finished your exercise in time because it was worth it, as ever!

I) Translate into French:

… One of the men – it might have been Stuart – waded in and got her. He took her by the fingers and pulled her into shore. He got some nylon cord and tied it to her wrist and then looped the rest around a tree.
The next morning, they cooked breakfast, drank coffee, and drank whiskey, and then split up to fish. That night they cooked fish, cooked potatoes, drank coffee, drank whiskey, then took their cooking things and eating things back down to the river and washed them where the girl was.
They played some cards later on. Maybe they played until they couldn’t see them anymore. Vern Williams went to sleep. But the others told stories. Gordon Johnson said the trout they’d caught were hard because of the terrible coldness of the water.
The next morning they got up late, drank whiskey, fished a little, took down their tents, rolled their tents, rolled their sleeping bags, gathered their stuff, and hiked out. They drove until they got to a telephone. It was Stuart who made the call while the others stood around in the sun and listened. He gave the sheriff their names. They had nothing to hide. They weren’t ashamed. They said they’d wait until someone could come for better directions and take down their statements.

Un des hommes, - ça pourrait être Stuart- pataugea et la récupéra. Il la prit par les doigts et la tira jusqu'au rivage. Il prit de la corde en nylon et l'attacha au poignet, puis boucla le reste de la corde autour d'un arbre.
Le matin suivant, ils préparèrent le petit-déjeuner, burent du café, et burent du whisky, puis se séparèrent pour pêcher. Cette nuit-là, ils cuisinèrent du poisson, des pommes de terre, burent du café, burent du whisky, puis ramenèrent leurs ustensiles de cuisine et leurs couverts à la rivière et les lavèrent là où se trouvait la fille.
Plus tard, ils jouèrent aux cartes. Peut-être jusqu'à ce qu'ils ne puissent plus voir les cartes. Vern Williams partit se coucher. Mais les autres se racontèrent des histoires. Gordon Johnson dit que les truites qu'ils avaient attrapées étaient fermes à cause de la terrible fraîcheur de l'eau.
Le lendemain matin, ils se levèrent tard, burent du whisky, péchèrent un peu, démontèrent leurs tentes, enroulèrent leurs tentes, enroulèrent leurs sacs de couchage, rassemblèrent leurs affaires et partirent en promenade. Ils roulèrent jusqu'à trouver un téléphone. Ce fut Stuart qui passa l'appel tandis que les autres se tenaient autour et écoutaient. Il donna au shérif leurs noms. Ils n'avaient rien à cacher. Ils n'avaient pas honte. Ils dirent qu'ils attendraient que quelqu'un puisse venir pour de meilleures indications et prendre note de leurs déclarations.

Raymond CARVER, Short Cuts.

II) EXPRESSION : optional. In 130 words, express yourself about one of the following questions :
1) Choose an adjective qualifying the men’s reaction and justify this adjective thanks to the text (do NOT quote it!)
What better word than UNSPEAKABLE to describe the men's reaction? They don't seem to care at all since they have so many other things on their minds... (such as preparing meals, telling stories, playing cards), they're note hurrying to call the police: They selfishly want to have a good time as if nothing happened, as if encountering a dead body was nothing more than their everyday life. They wait no less than a day before calling the police! During that time, so many people might be looking for her, some clues might shade off or disappear. Yet, they're not ashamed. In a way, they pride themselves on playing the transparency card as if they were snow-white. (121W)

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Réponse : Ex 211/work with us, please de here4u, postée le 29-09-2021 à 23:23:24 (S | E)
Hello, dears!


Voici la correction de votre version, la dernière partie qui vous sera proposée de cet extrait ... Un grand et aux courageux qui ont posté ce travail. Vous avez dû recevoir vos corrections individuelles et j'espère qu'elles vous auront éclairés. Voici, en tout cas, la correction qui regroupe les moments délicats de ce travail ainsi que l'explication des choix que j'ai faits.

… One of the men – it might have been Stuart – waded in and got her. He took her by the fingers and pulled her into shore. He got some nylon cord and tied it to her wrist and then looped the rest around a tree.
The next morning, they cooked breakfast, drank coffee, and drank whiskey, and then split up to fish. That night they cooked fish, cooked potatoes, drank coffee, drank whiskey, then took their cooking things and eating things back down to the river and washed them where the girl was.
They played some cards later on. Maybe they played until they couldn’t see them anymore. Vern Williams went to sleep. But the others told stories. Gordon Johnson said the trout they’d caught were hard because of the terrible coldness of the water.
The next morning they got up late, drank whiskey, fished a little, took down their tents, rolled their tents, rolled their sleeping bags, gathered their stuff, and hiked out. They drove until they got to a telephone. It was Stuart who made the call while the others stood around in the sun and listened. He gave the sheriff their names. They had nothing to hide. They weren’t ashamed. They said they’d wait until someone could come for better directions and take down their statements.
Raymond CARVER, Short Cuts.

Vous avez parfaitement compris le texte : BRAVO. Très bon travail aussi pour les expressions personnelles qui étaient bien ressenties et exprimées.

Toujours la difficulté des temps … J’avais, au début utilisé le passé simple mais cela alourdissait énormément le texte et le rendait assez artificiel … De plus, après réflexion et travail, j'ai acquis la certitude que le parti-pris du passé composé donne au récit un air de chronique « assez légère » qui colle bien à l’insouciance et l’irresponsabilité du groupe qui n’imaginait pas « gâcher » sa partie de pêche pour une femme morte !


L’un des hommes – il se pourrait que ça ait été Stuart – est entré dans l’eau et a attrapé la femme. Il l'a prise par les doigts et l'a tirée sur le bord. Il a pris une corde en nylon et lui a attachée au poignet, puis a enroulé le reste autour d’un arbre.
Le lendemain matin, ils ont préparé le petit déjeuner, ont bu le café et le whisky et se sont séparés pour pêcher. Cette nuit là, ils ont cuisiné du poisson, des pommes de terre, ont bu du café et du whisky, ont apporté leurs ustensiles de cuisine et leur vaisselle à la rivière et les ont lavés là où la fille se trouvait.
Plus tard, ils ont joué aux cartes. Sans doute ont-ils joué jusqu’à ce qu’ils ne les voient plus. Vern Williams est allé se coucher, mais les autres ont raconté des histoires. Gordon Johnson a dit que les truites qu’ils avaient attrapées étaient dures à cause du froid terrible de l’eau.
Le lendemain matin, ils se sont levés tard, ont bu du whisky, ont pêché un peu, ont démonté les tentes, les ont roulées, ont roulé leurs sacs de couchage, ont rassemblé leurs affaires, et se sont remis en marche. Ils ont conduit jusqu’à trouver un téléphone. C’est Stuart qui a passé l’appel pendant que les autres étaient alentour, au soleil, à écouter. Il a donné leurs noms au shérif. Ils n’avaient rien à cacher. Ils n’avaient pas honte. Ils ont dit qu’ils attendraient jusqu’à ce que quelqu’un arrive pour leur donner de meilleures consignes et prendre leurs témoignages.

- Lorsque vous faites un choix de temps, attention cependant de préserver les nuances de temps du texte d’origine : « ça pourrait être Stuart »= it might be Stuart //it might have been Stuart : il se pourrait que ça ait été Stuart.
- To wade: Lien internet
implique forcément l’idée de « marcher dans l’eau » …
- « froideur » ? ou « froidure » ? Lien internet
(le moins risqué, dans ce cas est d’éviter de « choquer » le lecteur qui aura son interprétation, tout en restant fidèle au texte. [« la fraîcheur de l’eau » était un peu faible]
- Alentour : Lien internet

- Attention à la différence entre « human » et « humane ». Lien internet


Encore

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