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A diary of my holidays
Message de chtiteci67 posté le 03-01-2008 à 23:25:38 (S | E | F | I)
Hello,
I had to do an diary of what I've done during the holidays and I always make mistakes so if someone could help me it would be very nice to you.
Thank you in advance,
Céline.
My holidays:
First afternoon of holidays, Friday 21st:
I finished school at about 3 pm. Then me and 4 pals of my class went shopping for the Christmas' present. Strasbourg is so beautiful at Christmas. It's a pleasure just to go there for a walk and to admire the decorations.
Saturday 22nd:
I went horse-riding and it took all my after noon. It was very tiring and asks a lot of energy even if it's sometimes a(n) assessed/critically sport [I don't know which one is better]
Sunday 23rd:
I was with an excellent friend at Caracalla in Germany. I left home at 1.45 pm because meanwhile my brother slashed himself's arch of the eyebrows and had to go to hospital. It's such a beautiful and relaxing place with all this swimming-pool, sauna, spray... It was very pleasant and a very good moment. We came back at home at 8.30 pm. I crashed immediately out and had a deep sleep.
Monday 24th:
I didn't do anything of my day but thinking of Christmas. All my family was gathered to my Godmother for the evening. We ate chicken vol-au-vents and my uncle dressed up as Santa Clauss for the eldest. We played at the Nintendo D.S a great part of the time and sang at the karaoke on musics which hadn't any senses but it was funny and divertising. Everybody lent himself to the game even if, in reality, nobody had a nice voice. Really a smashing evening!!
Tuesday 25th:
Really tired after Christmas so I spent all the day in my bed (almost)
Wednesday 26th:
Gathered together again we went to my Grandparents to celebrate like a second Christmas. During the previous evening it snowed so we took advantages of this to sled. It was brilliant/walloping. [Don't know which one is the best]
Thursday 27th:
I've made my homework and the afternoon I went shopping.
Friday 28th:
I was very sick and brought up all the day...Avert the details.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 03-01-2008 23:33
Il est demandé aux membres qui auront la gentillesse de répondre de signaler les fautes, d'aider le demandeur à se corriger mais de ne jamais faire le travail à sa place. Cette règle est incontournable sur ce site d'apprentissage. Merci de votre participation.
Message de chtiteci67 posté le 03-01-2008 à 23:25:38 (S | E | F | I)
Hello,
I had to do an diary of what I've done during the holidays and I always make mistakes so if someone could help me it would be very nice to you.
Thank you in advance,
Céline.
My holidays:
First afternoon of holidays, Friday 21st:
I finished school at about 3 pm. Then me and 4 pals of my class went shopping for the Christmas' present. Strasbourg is so beautiful at Christmas. It's a pleasure just to go there for a walk and to admire the decorations.
Saturday 22nd:
I went horse-riding and it took all my after noon. It was very tiring and asks a lot of energy even if it's sometimes a(n) assessed/critically sport [I don't know which one is better]
Sunday 23rd:
I was with an excellent friend at Caracalla in Germany. I left home at 1.45 pm because meanwhile my brother slashed himself's arch of the eyebrows and had to go to hospital. It's such a beautiful and relaxing place with all this swimming-pool, sauna, spray... It was very pleasant and a very good moment. We came back at home at 8.30 pm. I crashed immediately out and had a deep sleep.
Monday 24th:
I didn't do anything of my day but thinking of Christmas. All my family was gathered to my Godmother for the evening. We ate chicken vol-au-vents and my uncle dressed up as Santa Clauss for the eldest. We played at the Nintendo D.S a great part of the time and sang at the karaoke on musics which hadn't any senses but it was funny and divertising. Everybody lent himself to the game even if, in reality, nobody had a nice voice. Really a smashing evening!!
Tuesday 25th:
Really tired after Christmas so I spent all the day in my bed (almost)
Wednesday 26th:
Gathered together again we went to my Grandparents to celebrate like a second Christmas. During the previous evening it snowed so we took advantages of this to sled. It was brilliant/walloping. [Don't know which one is the best]
Thursday 27th:
I've made my homework and the afternoon I went shopping.
Friday 28th:
I was very sick and brought up all the day...Avert the details.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 03-01-2008 23:33
Il est demandé aux membres qui auront la gentillesse de répondre de signaler les fautes, d'aider le demandeur à se corriger mais de ne jamais faire le travail à sa place. Cette règle est incontournable sur ce site d'apprentissage. Merci de votre participation.
Réponse: A diary of my holidays de tomtom1001, postée le 04-01-2008 à 12:39:11 (S | E)
Hello Celine,
-in blue: spelling faults
-in green: conjugaison faults
-in pink: grammar faults
-in red: expression faults
My holidays:
First afternoon of holidays
(1), Friday 21st:I finished school at about 3 pm. Then me and 4 pals
(2) of my class went shopping for the Christmas' present(3). Strasbourg is so beautiful at Christmas. It's a pleasure just to go there for a walk and to admire the decorations.Saturday 22nd:
I went horse-riding and it took all my after noon. It was very tiring and asks
(4) a lot of energy even if it's sometimes a critical sport.Sunday 23rd:
I was with an excellent friend at Caracalla in Germany. I left home at 1.45 pm because meanwhile my brother slashed himself's arch of the eyebrows
(5) and had to go to hospital. It's such a beautiful and relaxing place with all this swimming-pool, sauna, spray... It was very pleasant and it was a very good moment. We came back at home at 8.30 pm. I crashed immediately out and had a deep sleep.(6)Monday 24th:
I didn't do anything of my day but thinking of Christmas. All my family was gathered to my Godmother for the evening. We ate chicken vol-au-vents and my uncle dressed up as Santa Clauss for the eldest. We played at the Nintendo D.S a great part of
(7) even if, in reality, nobody had a nice voice. Really a smashing evening!!Tuesday 25th:
Really tired after Christmas so I almost spent all the day in my bed.
Wednesday 26th:
Gathered together
(8) again we went to (9) my Grandparents to celebrate a second Christmas. During the previous evening it snowed so we took advantages of this to sled. It was great.Thursday 27th:
I've made my homework and the afternoon I went shopping.
Friday 28th:
I was very sick and brought up all the day...Avert the details.
(10)1-I don't know if it's the right order for these words!
2-For me, you shouldn't use unformal word in your essay, especially if it is corrected by a teacher!
3-plural
4-it's not the right word and you must use preterit!
5-I think you mean "l'arcade sourciliaire" but it's not the right expression, and unfortunately I can't help you because I don't know the expresion!
6-it's unformal
7-it's not the right expression!
8-"together" is a repetition because "gathered" means "together"!
9-Don't use a lot "to go to", try "to visit"!
10-Make a true sentence with: subject, verb...
I hope I helped you!!!
Bye tomtom
Réponse: A diary of my holidays de chtiteci67, postée le 04-01-2008 à 18:11:04 (S | E)
Thank you Tom
I don't know what to put instead of the wrong expressions but at least I know that it's wrong ^^ It's a good beginning =D 
Bisous
Céline
Réponse: A diary of my holidays de tomtom1001, postée le 04-01-2008 à 19:57:18 (S | E)
coucou,
I made some researches and what I propose you is:
Bye tomtom
Réponse: A diary of my holidays de johnd, postée le 04-01-2008 à 23:25:40 (S | E)
For tomtom's point #4, a better word might be: 'it took a lot of energy', or it required a lot of energy.
Réponse: A diary of my holidays de chtiteci67, postée le 06-01-2008 à 12:08:30 (S | E)
Thank you very much ;)
INDISPENSABLES : 