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Résumés livre
Message de graph-girl posté le 06-12-2008 à 12:15:58 (S | E | F)
Bonjouur
Je dois faire des résumés sur un livre, mais je suis pas sûre de mes phrases... Pourriez vous les corriger s'il vous plait?
J'essaie de les raccourcir, mais je ne trouve pas comment faire, je les trouve un peu trop long mais dès que j'enlève quelque chose on ne comprend pas la suite :S
J'en ai 3 à faire, je suis en train de finir mon livre pour faire le 3e.
Voici les deux premiers :
Too old to rock and roll ::
One day, Frances, Greg's mother, dead in an accident. When she had the accident, Valerie, her best friend, waited her in her house. Greg and his mother always put the decorations on the christmas tree together. But after her death, Greg didn't the christmas tree. One year, Valerie and him decided to di ut. It's what Frances would like. After Christmas, life was easier. Valerie came more and she stayed for the weekend. Greg's dad beginning to come back life. Greg began the practice of Rock'n'Roll in a band. He would never forget his mum, but he would to Valerie and his dad's got married. He liked Valerie a lot. The next week, Greg's father bought new clothers, he looked slim and young. Tonight, he went to a party, but without Valerie. Greg didn't like it. And one day, Greg's dad come to house with a young girl... Se had 24, but she looked 18...
Invitation to tea ::
Rokingham Crescent was a street who has tall houses and our hill. A little family lived down the hill : they couldn't see the crescent from ther street. The little girl liked watch the tall house of the street. Patricia Coleman, her new friend, invited her for tea. But in thoses day, when a scoolfriend invited you home to tea, it was a meal at the table, with bread and butter. When she arrived in Pat's house, she was suprising : there were old bicycle everywhere. Pat's house was very old. She didn't live in this house too long. She came here because of her Daddy's work. When the girl would go at home, someone was coming upstairs : Pat's mother and his little brother. She was tired. Her mother was about 35, but she lokked like an old, old woman. When the girl was out the house, she walked to her house, and when she arrived at home, she say to her mother "It was wonderful, her house was very nice...".
Message de graph-girl posté le 06-12-2008 à 12:15:58 (S | E | F)
BonjouurJe dois faire des résumés sur un livre, mais je suis pas sûre de mes phrases... Pourriez vous les corriger s'il vous plait?
J'essaie de les raccourcir, mais je ne trouve pas comment faire, je les trouve un peu trop long mais dès que j'enlève quelque chose on ne comprend pas la suite :S
J'en ai 3 à faire, je suis en train de finir mon livre pour faire le 3e.
Voici les deux premiers :
Too old to rock and roll ::
One day, Frances, Greg's mother, dead in an accident. When she had the accident, Valerie, her best friend, waited her in her house. Greg and his mother always put the decorations on the christmas tree together. But after her death, Greg didn't the christmas tree. One year, Valerie and him decided to di ut. It's what Frances would like. After Christmas, life was easier. Valerie came more and she stayed for the weekend. Greg's dad beginning to come back life. Greg began the practice of Rock'n'Roll in a band. He would never forget his mum, but he would to Valerie and his dad's got married. He liked Valerie a lot. The next week, Greg's father bought new clothers, he looked slim and young. Tonight, he went to a party, but without Valerie. Greg didn't like it. And one day, Greg's dad come to house with a young girl... Se had 24, but she looked 18...
Invitation to tea ::
Rokingham Crescent was a street who has tall houses and our hill. A little family lived down the hill : they couldn't see the crescent from ther street. The little girl liked watch the tall house of the street. Patricia Coleman, her new friend, invited her for tea. But in thoses day, when a scoolfriend invited you home to tea, it was a meal at the table, with bread and butter. When she arrived in Pat's house, she was suprising : there were old bicycle everywhere. Pat's house was very old. She didn't live in this house too long. She came here because of her Daddy's work. When the girl would go at home, someone was coming upstairs : Pat's mother and his little brother. She was tired. Her mother was about 35, but she lokked like an old, old woman. When the girl was out the house, she walked to her house, and when she arrived at home, she say to her mother "It was wonderful, her house was very nice...".
Réponse: Résumés livre de ariette, postée le 06-12-2008 à 13:39:45 (S | E)
dead (adj)/ to die (verb)
waited=> was waiting for her
à la place de 'always'=> used to
didn't +verb
di ut or do it ?
would have liked
was starting (to pull himself together/to enjoy life again)
practice=>to play
would ? wished
came home
she was 24
Réponse: Résumés livre de linsey34, postée le 06-12-2008 à 14:53:38 (S | E)
Dear graph-girl,
en rouge les erreurs à corriger:
Too old to rock and roll ::
One day, Frances, Greg's mother, dead in an accident. When she had the accident, Valerie, her best friend, waited her in her house. Greg and his mother always put the decorations on the christmas tree together. But after her death, Greg didn't the christmas tree. One year, Valerie and him decided to di ut. It's what Frances would like. After Christmas, life was easier. Valerie came more and she stayed for the weekend. Greg's dad beginning to come back life. Greg began the practice of Rock'n'Roll in a band. He would never forget his mum, but he would to Valerie and his dad's got married. He liked Valerie a lot. The next week, Greg's father bought new clothers, he looked slim and young. Tonight, he went to a party, but without Valerie. Greg didn't like it. And one day, Greg's dad come to house with a young girl... Se had 24, but she looked 18...
Invitation to tea ::
Rokingham Crescent was a street who has tall houses and our hill. A little family lived down the hill : they couldn't see the crescent from ther street. The little girl liked watch the tall house of the street. Patricia Coleman, her new friend, invited her for tea. But in thoses day, when a scoolfriend invited you home to tea, it was a meal at the table, with bread and butter. When she arrived in Pat's house, she was suprising : there were old bicycle everywhere. Pat's house was very old. She didn't live in this house too long. She came here because of her Daddy's work. When the girl would go at home, someone was coming upstairs : Pat's mother and his little brother. She was tired. Her mother was about 35, but she lokked like an old, old woman. When the girl was out the house, she walked to her house, and when she arrived at home, she say to her mother "It was wonderful, her house was very nice...".
Réponse: Résumés livre de graph-girl, postée le 06-12-2008 à 15:31:24 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup!
J'ai corrigé mes fautes, mais je pense qu'il y en a encore vu que j'ai changé quelques petites choses. Voici aussi mon 3e texte. Pourriez vous le regarder SVP?
1. Too Old to Rock and Roll
One day, Frances, Greg's mother, died in an accident. When she had the accident, Valerie, her best friend, was waiting for her in her house. Greg and his mother used to put the decorations on the Christmas tree together. But after her dead, Greg didn't do the Christmas tree. One year, Valerie and he decided to do it. It was what Frances would have liked. After Christmas, life was easier. Valerie came more often and she stayed for the weekend. Greg's dad was starting to come back life. Greg began to practice of Rock'n'Roll in a band. He would never forget his mum, but he wished to Valerie and his dad got married. He liked Valerie a lot. A week later, Greg's father bought new clothes, he looked slim and young. Tonight, he went to a party, but without Valerie. Greg didn't like it. And one day, Greg's dad came home with a young girl... Se was 24, but she looked 18...
2. Invitation to Tea
Rockingham Crescent was a street who had tall houses. A little family lived down the hill: they couldn't see the crescent from their street. The little girl liked watching the tall house of the street. Patricia Coleman, her new friend, invited her for tea. But in those days, when a schoolfriend invited you home for tea, it was a meal on the table, with bread and butter. When she arrived to Pat's house, she was surprise: there were old bicycles everywhere. Pat's house was very old. She didn't live in this house too long. She came in this house because of her Daddy's work. When the girl wanted came home, someone was coming upstairs: Pat's mother and his little brother. She was tired. Her mother was about 35, but she looked like an old, old woman. When the girl was out, she walked to her house, and when she arrived at home, she said to her mother “It was wonderful, her house was very nice”...
3. Party Wall
Daniel’s garden’s very small. But he had big windows. He could see a lot of street, and people who install in the street. It was often students, not families like him. His new neighbouring was Jenny. She lived between his house, with Duncan, Anna and Russell. One day, he heard Anna, Russell and Duncan shout at Jenny because of the bill electricity bill. Daniel opened the window everyday to listen Jenny. Her father didn’t understand why he leaves his bedroom window open in cold weather. One week, Duncan leaved. Jenny and Russell leaved too. Anna stayed at home lonely. 2 weeks later, they came back. After the evening, Duncan and Anna leaved. But Jenny didn’t want to stay with Russell. And one night, Daniel saw an arm along the windows-still of Jenny’s room. He listened Russell and Jenny in Jenny’s bedroom. It was the first, and the only night where Russell stay in Jenny’s bed.
My opinion
I liked this book because I thought it was interessant. Theses stories were beautiful, and for children/teenagers. Homewer, I prefer horror books and I think these stories were too short, if they were longer, we would be more captivated by the history. But I like Jan Mark’s style.
>> Je ne sais pas quoi dire de plus pour mon opinion, auriez vous une idée? :/
Réponse: Résumés livre de linsey34, postée le 07-12-2008 à 10:29:44 (S | E)
Quelques éléments de correction:
One day, Frances, Greg's mother, died in an accident. When she had the accident, Valerie, her best friend, was waiting for her in her house. Greg and his mother used to put the decorations on the Christmas tree together. But after her dead death, Greg didn't do the Christmas tree. One year, Valerie and he decided to do it. It was what Frances would have liked. After Christmas, life was easier. Valerie came more often and she stayed for the weekend. Greg's dad was starting to come back to life. Greg began to practice practise
Rockingham Crescent was a street who had tall houses. There were high houses in Rockingham Crescent. A little family lived down the hill: they couldn't see the crescent from their street. The little girl liked watching the tall high houses of the street. Patricia Coleman, her new friend, invited her for tea. But in those days, when a schoolfriend invited you home for tea, it was rather a meal on the table with bread and butter. When she arrived to at Pat's house, she was surprised: there were old bicycles everywhere. Pat's house was very old. She didn't live too long in this house . She came in this house because of her Daddy's work. When the girl wanted to came come home, someone was coming upstairs: Pat's mother and his her little brother. She was tired. Her mother was about 35, but she looked like an old, old woman. When the girl was out, she walked to her house, and when she arrived at home, she said to her mother “It was wonderful, her house was very nice”...
Daniel’s garden’s was very small. But he had there were big windows. He could see a lot of streets, and people who installed ? moved in in the street. It was often students, not families like him his. His new neighbour
Réponse: Résumés livre de linsey34, postée le 07-12-2008 à 10:34:19 (S | E)
Suite correction:
And one night, Daniel saw an arm along the windows-still of Jenny’s room. He listened heard Russell and Jenny in Jenny’s bedroom. It was the first, and the only night where Russell stayed in Jenny’s bed.
I liked this book because I thought it was interessant interesting. Theses stories were beautiful, and for children/teenagers. Homewer However, I prefer horror books and I think these stories were too short, if they were longer, we would be more captivated by the history. But I like Jan Mark’s style.
Développe ce qui t'a plu dans ces lectures. Qu'as-tu trouvé "intéressant"?
Réponse: Résumés livre de graph-girl, postée le 07-12-2008 à 17:43:02 (S | E)
J'ai essayé d'expliquer mais je n'avais pas tous les mots donc j'ai essayé de faire au mieux...
I liked this book because I thought it was interesting. These stories were beautiful, and for children/teenagers. However, I prefer horror books and I think these stories were too short, if they were longer, we would be more captivated by the story. But I like Jan Mark’s style. I liked more the first story because he was captivating, sad but touching too. The second story was cool, but I didn’t like it like the first story. I think the end was able to be less sad. I prefer the first story than the second because the boy was cute, he was just in love.
Réponse: Résumés livre de linsey34, postée le 07-12-2008 à 18:30:52 (S | E)
I liked this book because I thought it was interesting. These stories were beautiful, and for children/teenagers. However, I prefer horror books and I think these stories were too short, if they were longer, we would be more captivated by the story. But I like Jan Mark’s style. I liked more the first story because he was captivating, sad but touching too. The second story was cool, but I didn’t like it like the first story. I think the end was able to be less sad. I prefer the first story than the second one because the boy was cute, he was just in love.
Réponse: Résumés livre de graph-girl, postée le 07-12-2008 à 18:33:52 (S | E)
I liked this book because I thought it was interesting. These stories were beautiful, and for children/teenagers. However, I prefer horror books and I think these stories were too short, if they were longer, we would be more captivated by the story. But I like Jan Mark’s style. I liked more (Je ne sais pas comment corriger :/) the first story because she was captivating, sad but touching too. The second story was cool, but I didn’t like it like the first story. I think the end could be able? to be less sad. I prefer the first story than the second one because the boy was cute, he was just in love.
Réponse: Résumés livre de linsey34, postée le 07-12-2008 à 19:46:00 (S | E)
I liked this book because I thought it was interesting. These stories were beautiful, and for children/teenagers. However, I prefer horror books and I think these stories were too short, if they were longer, we would be more captivated by the story. But I like Jan Mark’s style. I liked more (Je ne sais pas comment corriger :/) the first story because she was captivating, sad but touching too. The second story was cool, but I didn’t like it like the first story. I think the end could be
Déplace "more" dans ta phrase.
"she" et "he" font référence à des êtres animés !
Réponse: Résumés livre de graph-girl, postée le 08-12-2008 à 18:12:55 (S | E)
I liked this book because I thought it was interesting. These stories were beautiful, and for children/teenagers. However, I prefer horror books and I think these stories were too short, if they were longer, we would be more captivated by the story. But I like Jan Mark’s style. I liked the first story more because it was captivating, sad but touching too. The second story was cool, but I didn’t like it like the first story. I think the end could be less sad. I prefer the first story than the second one because the boy was cute, he was just in love.
Merci de m'aider (L)
Réponse: Résumés livre de linsey34, postée le 08-12-2008 à 20:58:43 (S | E)
Voilà !!
Réponse: Résumés livre de graph-girl, postée le 09-12-2008 à 19:09:43 (S | E)
Merciiiiiiiiiiiii vous êtes vraiment géniauuuuuuuux
J'vous adooreeeeeeee (L)
J'ai fait une petite biographie de l'auteur, normalement il n'y a pas trop de fautes je me suis appliquée :P
Pourriez vous y jeter un oeiiiil? :P
Jan Mark was born on June, 22nd 1943 in Hertfordshire, in England. She was a British author, best know as a writer for children. She studied art and design. She was a secondary school teacher between 1965 and 1971, and she became a full-time writer 3 years after, in 1974. Jan Mark’s first book was Thunder and Lightnings in 1976. Other titles include The Ennead (1978), The Dead Letter Box (1982), Trouble Half-Way (1985), Finders, Losers (199o), and a Worm’s Eye View (1994). She won the Carnegie Medal for Thunder and Lightnings in 1976 and for Handles in 1983. She is known for her acutely-observed short stories. She also wrote novels about seemingly ordinary children in contemporary settings. Jan Mark was popular in Flanders, Belgium, where she participated in an educational project to stimulate English teachers into using teenage fiction in the classroom. Jan Mark died suddenly at her home in Oxford, from meningitis-related septicaemia on January, 16th 2oo6.
Réponse: Résumés livre de linsey34, postée le 10-12-2008 à 06:52:58 (S | E)
Jan Mark was born on June, 22nd 1943 in Hertfordshire, in England. She was a British author, best know as a writer for children. She studied art and design. She was a secondary school teacher between 1965 and 1971, and she became a full-time writer 3 years after, in 1974. Jan Mark’s first book was Thunder and Lightnings in 1976. Other titles include The Ennead (1978), The Dead Letter Box (1982), Trouble Half-Way (1985), Finders, Losers (199o), and a Worm’s Eye View (1994). She won the Carnegie Medal for Thunder and Lightnings in 1976 and for Handles in 1983. She is known for her acutely-observed short stories. She also wrote novels about seemingly ordinary children in contemporary settings. Jan Mark was popular in Flanders, Belgium, where she participated in an educational project to stimulate English teachers into using teenage fiction in the classroom. Jan Mark died suddenly at her home in Oxford, from meningitis-related septicaemia on January, 16th 2oo6.
ok! faute de frappe pour le premier "know" ?
Sinon, par convention d'écriture, lorsque tu écris, souligne les titres d'oeuvres, si tu les tapes à l'ordinateur, mets-les en italique.
Réponse: Résumés livre de graph-girl, postée le 10-12-2008 à 15:48:25 (S | E)
Ah non c'est une erreur j'avais oublié de changé le temps ^.^
"She was a British author, best knew as a writer for children. She studied art and design. "
Merciiiiii beaucouppp vous êtes vraimeent géniaux (L)
Réponse: Résumés livre de linsey34, postée le 10-12-2008 à 19:46:41 (S | E)
best known !!participe passé !!
Réponse: Résumés livre de graph-girl, postée le 11-12-2008 à 19:03:05 (S | E)
:O Je ne savais même pas
Merci beaucoup vous êtes génialee (L)
INDISPENSABLES : 