Another world (correction)

Another world (correction) (1)

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Another world (correction)
Message de philou013 posté le 24-01-2009 à 16:42:00 (S | E | F)
Merci de votre aide !

Réponse: Another world (correction) de laure95, postée le 24-01-2009 à 18:20:37 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici ce que tu dois corriger:
More and more people in many different countries claim that "another world is possible" do you agree?

Since the beginning of the fifties, the consumption of mass and the will of the consumer to have always more in lesser cost, pushes (present perfect avec since) the industrialists to search more and more ~~the~~ places with low production cost. Today, everything is money and benefice (mal dit). Our world is contaminated by the absolute research of benefits with a complete indifference on produced (vocabulaire) consequences. I think that all the difference of wealth between the developed countries and in process of development (mal dit) comes from the powerful whole year of farms of governments on the weakest. So we can wonder if another world is possible.
To answer our question we shall show at first that this new world is possible, but that changes would be difficult to apply.

Since near about twenty years ago scientific and some anti globalist pull (problème de temps!) the bell of alarm of the Earth exploitation. Also to augment outputs farming some people do not hesitate to use OGM or chemicals which in the long term destroy natural circles. Groups try to show that these methods cannot last any more. Associations as Greenpeace report and attack the polluters. I think these actions are very important. This agriculture is intended for us as consumers. This production contaminates our environment we must inform about it by stopping productions of OGM which can be harmful for our health. Others movement begins creating and these last have more and more activists with them. Globalization implicates position of consumer taught to pay cheap its objects. Without instituting protectionism, states should favour the creation of job inside their territory. Also international labour laws should be instituted, restricting the escape of firms thirsty for benefits. Even the international community begins taking conscience of misery is has foible the world. To help them, I think that it would be necessary to restrict the dispatch of money but contrary to favour education and training for jobs.

But this new way of life, this new world, risks (sujet au pluriel) being very complicated to set up at international level. This mink of things is rather utopian because before the worldwide population becomes aware of things it is still needed of time. The consumer is accustomed has have everything with a valuable choice often very low. To satisfy the customers, the industrialists are made to delocalize their production. This system with a wicked effect and will continue producing the working of people.

In conclusion we can say that the world is moving. The new world is therefore possible. But the application of this last is difficult and these are mentality of the consumers before changing production.

Attention! Beaucoup de traductions mot à mot! Attention à certaines constructions de phrases. Fais des phrases courtes et simples.

Réponse: Another world (correction) de laure95, postée le 25-01-2009 à 11:13:47 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici ce que tu dois encore corriger:
Since the beginning of the fifties, the consumption of mass and the will of the consumer to have always more in less cost, have pushed the industrialists to search more and more places with low production cost. Today, everything is (trouve 1 verbe plus précis) money and benefice (comment trouver quelquechose de mieux?). Our world is contaminated by the absolute research of benefits with a complete indifference on the impact it could lead to. I think that all the difference of wealth between the developed countries and developing countries comes from the powerful exert by developed countries on poor people all around the world. So we can wonder if another world is possible.
To answer our question we shall show at first that this new world is possible, but that (that + singulier) changes would be difficult to apply.

Since near about twenty years ~~ago~~ scientific and some anti globalist pulled (présent perfect + since) the bell of alarm (fais 1 nom composé)of the Earth exploitation. Also to raise outputs farming some people do not hesitate to use OGM or chemicals which in the long term destroy natural environment. Groups try to show that these methods cannot last any more. Associations as Greenpeace report and attack the polluters. I think these actions are very important. This agriculture is destine for us as consumers. This production contaminates our environment we must inform about it by stopping productions of OGM which can be harmful for our health. Others movement begins (choisis entre singulier et pluriel) creating and they have more and more activists with them. Globalization implicates consumer’s production accustom (participe passé) to pay cheap (comparatif)their objects. Without instituting protectionism, states should favour the creation of job inside their territory. Also (à mettre avant le verbe) international labour laws should be instituted, restricting the escape of firms thirsty (OK) for benefits. Even the international community begins to be aware of misery is ruin the world. To help them, I think that it would be necessary to restrict the dispatch of money but contrary to favour education and training for jobs.
But this new way of life, this new world, risk being very complicated to set up at international level. This mink of things is rather utopian because before the worldwide population becomes aware of things is (problème de temps) take a long time. The consumer is accustomed to have everything with a valuable choice often very low. To satisfy the customers, the industrialists made (pourquoi le prétérit?) to delocalize their production. This system with a wicked effect ~~and~~ will continue producing the working of people.
In conclusion (to conclude) we can say that the world is moving. The new world is therefore possible. But the application of this last (its application) is difficult and we must changing the

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