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Correction/création

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/création
Message de maevab75 posté le 26-10-2015 à 12:21:21 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai besoin d'aide s'il vous plait pour corriger un devoir en anglais. Il s'agissait de décrire une de nos créations artistiques ainsi que notre démarche.
merci d'avance
Maeva

First of all, this work represents a madwoman who became crazy because of her work. For the technique I chose a photography of a woman on the Internet and I covered it with oil pastel. I found this photography on the site of buisness school HEC. It was in an article speaking working conditions in the finance.
I created this work from an extract of text wich is « L'accumulation de la noirceur primitive» by Bruce Bégout who is a french philosopher and writer. He's a one of the most renowmed current French thinkers. His work is an analysis of urban everyday life. It's a criticism of society.

This extract describes the everyday life of two character who work in a company. The author explains dullness of the tasks, the repetition of work which leads to madness.

To Bruce Bégout, " the madness is the only way of liberation " to control a world become too huge and disproportionate. He presents the madness as an adaptative process.
On this extract we see the two main characters : a woman who is called F and a man B. This letters participate in the feeling of anonymity in the text.
In my work i wanted symbolize this anonymity whith the choice of a typical working girl . Because we can become identified with her.
In my production we can see F, the woman to become crazy because of her everyday life in the work. She screaming of rage. In the text it is the moment when she returns to her primal instincts as a wild animal. The author translates the exhaustion of his characters by the madness. F is like a berserk.

Then, through this work I wanted to represent the alienation of our society where the capitalism is the man's exploitation of man.
The alienation appears as a symptom of our society.

Alienation is a sociological concept developed by several classical and contemporary theorists. It is a condition in social relationships reflected by a low degree of integration between an individual and a group of people in a community or work environment. The suicide is the first symptom in the society.
The series of suicides in a company is not an epidemic. They are the product of new forms of organization of the work which isolate. At the same time as they overload the employees and encroaching on their private life.

In addition ,the subject of painful work is used by many authors, artists, philosopher.
For example, in the painting « Glaneuses »in 1857, Jean François Millet represents three womans who work hard in fields.
The craftsman, the farmer are recurring subjects in the art of 19th century .

In the cinema, the movie « Les Temps modernes » by Charlie Chapelin in 1936 is a satire of the assembly-line work and an indictment of the unemployment and the living conditions of a big part of the population during the Great Depression.

To conclude, my work is an interpretation of the philisopher Bruce Bégout's texte who denouces the capitalist society and painful work. Which has for consequence the psychological distress of the workers.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 26-10-2015 19:31


Réponse: Correction/création de maevab75, postée le 26-10-2015 à 20:45:07 (S | E)
Personne pour me donner un coup de main?
j'ai essayé de corriger seule avant de le poster avec wordeference mais j'ai le sentiment qu'il y a encore des fautes car je ne suis pas une pointure très bonne en anglais.....

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 26-10-2015 21:04



Réponse: Correction/création de gerondif, postée le 26-10-2015 à 22:27:44 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert

First of all, this work represents a madwoman who became crazy because of her work. For the technique I chose a photography of a woman on the Internet and I covered it with oil pastel. I found this photography on the site of buisness school HEC. It was in an article speaking about working conditions in the finance.
I created this work from an extract of text which is « L'accumulation de la noirceur primitive» by Bruce Bégout who is a french(majuscule) philosopher and writer. He's a(à ôter) one of the most renowmed current French thinkers. His work is an analysis of urban everyday life. It's a criticism of society.

This extract describes the everyday life of two characters who work in a company. The author explains the dullness of the tasks, the repetition of work which leads to madness.

To Bruce Bégout, " the madness is the only way of liberation " to control a world become too huge and disproportionate. He presents the madness as an adaptative process.
On this extract we see the two main characters : a woman who is called F and a man B. This(pluriel) letters participate in the feeling of anonymity in the text.

In my work i(majuscule) wanted to symbolize this anonymity whith the choice of a typical working girl . Because we can become identified with(construction) her.
In my production we can see F, the woman to become crazy because of her everyday life in the at work. She (auxiliaire être) screaming of rage. In the text it is the moment when she returns to her primal instincts as a wild animal. The author translates the exhaustion of his characters by the madness. F is like a berserk.

Then, through this work I wanted to represent the alienation of our society where the capitalism is the man's exploitation of man.
The alienation appears as a symptom of our society.

Alienation is a sociological concept developed by several classical and contemporary theorists. It is a condition in social relationships reflected by a low degree of integration between an individual and a group of people in a community or work environment. The suicide is the first symptom in the society.
The series of suicides in a company is not an epidemic. They are the product of new forms of organization of the work which isolate. At the same time as they overload the employees and encroaching on their private life,manque la fin de la phrase après cette subordonnée).

In addition ,the subject of painful work is used by many authors, artists, philosophers.
For example, in the painting « Glaneuses »in 1857, Jean François Millet represents three womans(pluriel irrégulier!) who work hard in fields.
The craftsman, the farmer are recurring subjects in the art of the 19th century .

In the cinema, the movie « Les Temps modernes » by Charlie Chapelin in 1936 is a satire of the assembly-line work and an indictment of the unemployment and the living conditions of a big part of the population during the Great Depression.

To conclude, my work is an interpretation of the philisopher Bruce Bégout's texte who denounces the capitalist society and painful work. Which has for consequence the psychological distress of the workers.




Réponse: Correction/création de maevab75, postée le 27-10-2015 à 22:38:41 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup, je vais essayer de regarder les fautes récurrentes pour progresser un peu ;)
merci encore!

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-10-2015 07:24




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