Comme des milliers de personnes, recevez gratuitement chaque semaine Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
Tout ce qui a un rapport avec l'apprentissage de l'anglais: grammaire, orthographe, aides aux devoirs, phrases etc.
D'après photo/correction
Message de aurel_gates posté le 09-11-2006 à 19:16:07 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour,
Je dois rendre une interprétation de photo... en anglais bien sûr !! Pouvez-vous me la corriger s'il vous plaît ? (grammaire vocabulaire...) Merci d'avance !!
The photo is very interesting because we can imagine many things : there is “a misconception”. So, the scene take place in a living room during Christmas ! There are Christmas tree or presents ! There are many colours ! Normally this environment is intended to an happy scene ! But, in the photo, there is murder ! It’s so strange ! In additon, the women who is holding the gun is wearing a beautiful evening gown and the man who is died is wearing a beautiful costume !
We can deduce that : the women is a serial killer. Might be, she was paid by a boss who wanted to see the man killed ! Perhaps, after, the boss would become more powerful ! Thus the women has done like if she loved the man… she spend Christmas with him and when she was alone with him, she killed him !! I think there are many other interpretation of the photo, but I think this interpretation is the most convincing !
Merci encore et bonne soirée !
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 09-11-2006 19:37
Titre
Message de aurel_gates posté le 09-11-2006 à 19:16:07 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour,
Je dois rendre une interprétation de photo... en anglais bien sûr !! Pouvez-vous me la corriger s'il vous plaît ? (grammaire vocabulaire...) Merci d'avance !!
The photo is very interesting because we can imagine many things : there is “a misconception”. So, the scene take place in a living room during Christmas ! There are Christmas tree or presents ! There are many colours ! Normally this environment is intended to an happy scene ! But, in the photo, there is murder ! It’s so strange ! In additon, the women who is holding the gun is wearing a beautiful evening gown and the man who is died is wearing a beautiful costume !
We can deduce that : the women is a serial killer. Might be, she was paid by a boss who wanted to see the man killed ! Perhaps, after, the boss would become more powerful ! Thus the women has done like if she loved the man… she spend Christmas with him and when she was alone with him, she killed him !! I think there are many other interpretation of the photo, but I think this interpretation is the most convincing !
Merci encore et bonne soirée !
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 09-11-2006 19:37
Titre
Réponse: Correction texte de jean31, postée le 09-11-2006 à 20:03:48 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Pas mal d'erreurs que je t'ai signalées ci-dessous.
- Pourquoi les guillemets à misconception ?
- Le sujet du verbe take place est singulier, donc...
- ... Christmas tree or presents! <= je ne comprends pas pourquoi il y a -- arbre de Noël OU des cadeaux.
- ...intended to --- = il manque un verbe. Je suggère représenter.
- an happy <= grosse erreur sur le déterminant. Le H de happy est aspiré, donc...
- ...there is -- murder <= il manque un déterminant devant le nom.
- ...women who is holding .... Cherche l'erreur.
- ... is died est incorrect. Emploie l'adjectif.
- ...the women is... Bis ! Voir au dessus.
- Might be est incorrect. Rectifie le temps du modal.
- ... the women has done ... Et de 3 !
- Faire comme si = to pretend.
- She spend Christmas ... Tu fais un récit au passé, non ? Rectifie.
- ... many entraîne un nom pluriel, non ? Rectifie.
- ... the most convincing ONE.
Allez, au travail et reviens faire vérifier tes rectifications.
Réponse: D'après photo/correction de aurel_gates, postée le 09-11-2006 à 20:22:30 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup, c'est vraix que 50 % de mes erreurs sont grossières ! De plus je purrais les éviter en faisant plus attention !
Voici la correction que je propose : The photo is very interesting because we can imagine many things : there is a misconception. So, the scene take place in a living room during Christmas ! There are Christmas tree and presents ! There are many colours ! Normally this environment is intended to represent a happy scene ! But, in the photo, there is a murder ! It’s so strange ! In additon, the woman who is holding the gun is wearing a beautiful evening gown and the man who is death is wearing a beautiful costume !
We can deduce that : the woman is a serial killer. May be, she was paid by a boss who wanted to see the man killed ! Perhaps, after, the boss would become more powerful ! Thus the woman has done pretend she loved the man… she spent Christmas with him and when she was alone with him, she killed him !! I think there are many others interpretations of the photo, but I think this interpretation is the most convincing one !
Merci beaucoup de vous préocupez de moi et de mon petit texte !!
Réponse: D'après photo/correction de jean31, postée le 10-11-2006 à 11:09:48 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Ou bien tu me lis mal ou bien tu vas trop vite ou bien un peu les deux ?
Toujours est-il que tu laisses des erreurs quand tu n'en rajoutes pas !
Y compris en français :
"Merci beaucoup de vous préocCupeR de moi et de mon petit texte !! "
- ... the scene take place ... <= Rien ne te choque ? Moi si !
- ... is death ... <= Je t'avais dit d'employer l'adjectif. Alors ?
- ...costume se dit suit en anglais.
- Maybe s'écrit en un seul mot.
- ... pretended... <= Le prétérit s'impose car tu fais un récit d'un événement passé, terminé et daté.
- ... others interpretations... <= Ici other est adjectif. Donc ?
=> Travailler ne consiste pas à faire une course de vitesse mais plutôt à courir le marathon. Il faut tenir la distance !
See you.
-------------------
Modifié par jean31 le 10-11-2006 11:11
-------------------
Modifié par jean31 le 10-11-2006 11:53
Réponse: D'après photo/correction de aurel_gates, postée le 13-11-2006 à 19:00:45 (S | E)
Voila la correction final, merci jean31 pour ce conseil mais c'est vraix que je suis étourdi et cela me joue des tours en pas mal de matières
!!
The photo is very interesting because we can imagine many things : there is a misconception. So, the scene takes place in a living room during Christmas ! There are Christmas tree and presents ! There are many colours ! Normally this environment is intended to represent a happy scene ! But, in the photo, there is a murder ! It’s so strange ! In additon, the woman who is holding the gun is wearing a beautiful evening gown and the man who is dead is wearing a beautiful suit !
We can deduce that : the woman is a serial killer. Maybe, she was paid by a boss who wanted to see the man killed ! Perhaps, after, the boss would become more powerful ! Thus the woman has done pretended she loved the man… she spent Christmas with him and when she was alone with him, she killed him !! I think there are many other interpretations of the photo, but I think this interpretation is the most convincing one !
Merci encore je tacherai de travailler moins vite à l'avenir !
Réponse: D'après photo/correction de jean31, postée le 13-11-2006 à 19:15:45 (S | E)
Congratulations, you did a good job.
Yet, here are a few more hints.
=> We can deduce that the woman is a serial killer.(supprimer les deux points)
=> Perhaps the boss would later become more powerful !
=> Thus the woman pretended she loved the man.(le prétérit, man !)
=> ... but I think this is the most convincing one.(ce qui évite la répétition)
Réponse: D'après photo/correction de paraodeus, postée le 14-11-2006 à 04:11:06 (S | E)
also there is a christmas tree
unless of course in the photo there are multiple trees in which case you would use "are" and put an "s" on tree
Réponse: D'après photo/correction de paraodeus, postée le 14-11-2006 à 04:14:42 (S | E)
Perhaps, afterwards, the boss would...
INDISPENSABLES : 