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Message de shakis posté le 03-01-2006 à 17:04:29 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour, et bonne année
En ce début d'année j'ai écrit un petit texte et j'aurais aimé que l'on me corrige. Puis-je compter sur vous? merci beaucoup.
Contexte : Bill Miller doit s'occuper de l'appartement de ses voisins (Jim et Harriet Stones) durant leur absence, ainsi que du chat Kitty. Mais Bill est jaloux d'eux et il s'approprie l'appartement. Voilà ce qu'il fait quand les Stones reviennent chez eux :
Bill did not remember when the Stones were due back. It was possible that the car belongs to the Stones but it was not sure.
It was the moment. Bill opened the dressingroom (le dressing?) and with a quick glance he selected a black shirt and trousers of a great class. He approached the door of entry (la porte d’entrée?). The Stones steps were made hear and then the house-bell. Bill opened the door languidly.
"Bill! How are you? But what do you make still here? ", Jim begins.
"Bill? You must be mistaken in anybody. I’m Jim. What can I make for you?"
"Bill... It is us! We had entrusted to you our apartment during our absence. We are returned, we thank you, but now you can leave", Jim continued.
"I don’t understand what you said. It is surely an error. For the moment I am alone but I don’t want that my wife, Harriet, is inconvenienced by your visit on her return. I require of you to leave."
"But what’s happened? And why do you wear my clothing? "Jim (the true), started obviously to be irritated. “They are my clothing. It is my apartment, my life, my wife. Here! Look at this!" Jim left his pocket a box of drugs. "They are those of my wife. I must give him when she returns. Read what it wrote there: Harriet Stones, one each day as directed. Isn't it enough for you? It’s me who lives here. I wear my clothing, I’m in possession of drugs which are to my wife."
"You are mad!"
This time, it was Harriet Jones who left his hinges.
"You are Bill Miller, and you are pitiful. Stop this joke immediately."
"It’s not a joke. I don’t know who you are. I begin to lose patience! Goodbye and good evening.”
Bill closed the door. His hands were moist, but he was decided not to open the door more. He turned over in the kitchen and was caught a drink. Kitty was with its feet, only witness of the truth.
-------------------
Edité par bridg le 03-01-2006 17:05
A la demande de webmaster il est demandé aux membres et aux modérateurs de ne plus corriger les textes complets des devoirs ni les dissertations:
Lien Internet
Nous sommes désolés, mais nous avons fermé ce sujet conformément aux conditions d'utilisations du site: Lien Internet
et aux conseils d'utilisations du forum: Lien Internet
Message de shakis posté le 03-01-2006 à 17:04:29 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour, et bonne année
En ce début d'année j'ai écrit un petit texte et j'aurais aimé que l'on me corrige. Puis-je compter sur vous? merci beaucoup.
Contexte : Bill Miller doit s'occuper de l'appartement de ses voisins (Jim et Harriet Stones) durant leur absence, ainsi que du chat Kitty. Mais Bill est jaloux d'eux et il s'approprie l'appartement. Voilà ce qu'il fait quand les Stones reviennent chez eux :
Bill did not remember when the Stones were due back. It was possible that the car belongs to the Stones but it was not sure.
It was the moment. Bill opened the dressingroom (le dressing?) and with a quick glance he selected a black shirt and trousers of a great class. He approached the door of entry (la porte d’entrée?). The Stones steps were made hear and then the house-bell. Bill opened the door languidly.
"Bill! How are you? But what do you make still here? ", Jim begins.
"Bill? You must be mistaken in anybody. I’m Jim. What can I make for you?"
"Bill... It is us! We had entrusted to you our apartment during our absence. We are returned, we thank you, but now you can leave", Jim continued.
"I don’t understand what you said. It is surely an error. For the moment I am alone but I don’t want that my wife, Harriet, is inconvenienced by your visit on her return. I require of you to leave."
"But what’s happened? And why do you wear my clothing? "Jim (the true), started obviously to be irritated. “They are my clothing. It is my apartment, my life, my wife. Here! Look at this!" Jim left his pocket a box of drugs. "They are those of my wife. I must give him when she returns. Read what it wrote there: Harriet Stones, one each day as directed. Isn't it enough for you? It’s me who lives here. I wear my clothing, I’m in possession of drugs which are to my wife."
"You are mad!"
This time, it was Harriet Jones who left his hinges.
"You are Bill Miller, and you are pitiful. Stop this joke immediately."
"It’s not a joke. I don’t know who you are. I begin to lose patience! Goodbye and good evening.”
Bill closed the door. His hands were moist, but he was decided not to open the door more. He turned over in the kitchen and was caught a drink. Kitty was with its feet, only witness of the truth.
-------------------
Edité par bridg le 03-01-2006 17:05
A la demande de webmaster il est demandé aux membres et aux modérateurs de ne plus corriger les textes complets des devoirs ni les dissertations:
Lien Internet
Nous sommes désolés, mais nous avons fermé ce sujet conformément aux conditions d'utilisations du site: Lien Internet
et aux conseils d'utilisations du forum: Lien Internet
INDISPENSABLES : 