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To speak about it?
Message de bab0003 posté le 06-05-2005 à 18:37:58 (S | E | F | I)
Bonsoir à tous, et bon début de week end !
Voilà, j'ai commencé à faire une rédaction et j'aurais aimé avoir un peu d'aide pour 1 ou 2 expressions que je n'ai pas trouvées, et aussi corriger si besoin est.
SUJET : No war can ever be justified. Do you agree? Give arguments.
"No war can ever be justified. Can I really speak about this then I am 16 years old? War is something bad and dangerous. I am just an adolescent but I have nevertheless an opinion. She can ever be justified DANS LA MESURE OU she brings much pain. As all people know it, war is mostly destroying and a lot of families are rending by death. A war produces very so much devastations, as much human than material. Nothing can justify this cruel act. Nowadays, presidents make war on others lands POUR UN OUI OU POUR UN NON. For many people, war doesn't concern them. It is this that they think...But war all concern! She is always present and forever. She wears death and we don't must forget this. Some presidents forget this and make war when they want. We could find many examples.
There are circumstances where war can be justified. For instance, when a land wants to cope. I think it is the only valid reason to make a war. But we must moderate this defense. Indeed, she can be of two natures. She can be real, in the case of a nation which threat an other. But she can also be used as pretext to carry out a battle.
I find that peace can be related with the love. However love is ever more beautiful and reinforced when he is strewn, now and then, with some debates which finish by a return to a state of calm. War is then sometimes necessary but we don't must impose upon her".
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Edité par bridg le 06-05-2005 18:40
+ titre
Message de bab0003 posté le 06-05-2005 à 18:37:58 (S | E | F | I)
Bonsoir à tous, et bon début de week end !
Voilà, j'ai commencé à faire une rédaction et j'aurais aimé avoir un peu d'aide pour 1 ou 2 expressions que je n'ai pas trouvées, et aussi corriger si besoin est.
SUJET : No war can ever be justified. Do you agree? Give arguments.
"No war can ever be justified. Can I really speak about this then I am 16 years old? War is something bad and dangerous. I am just an adolescent but I have nevertheless an opinion. She can ever be justified DANS LA MESURE OU she brings much pain. As all people know it, war is mostly destroying and a lot of families are rending by death. A war produces very so much devastations, as much human than material. Nothing can justify this cruel act. Nowadays, presidents make war on others lands POUR UN OUI OU POUR UN NON. For many people, war doesn't concern them. It is this that they think...But war all concern! She is always present and forever. She wears death and we don't must forget this. Some presidents forget this and make war when they want. We could find many examples.
There are circumstances where war can be justified. For instance, when a land wants to cope. I think it is the only valid reason to make a war. But we must moderate this defense. Indeed, she can be of two natures. She can be real, in the case of a nation which threat an other. But she can also be used as pretext to carry out a battle.
I find that peace can be related with the love. However love is ever more beautiful and reinforced when he is strewn, now and then, with some debates which finish by a return to a state of calm. War is then sometimes necessary but we don't must impose upon her".
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Edité par bridg le 06-05-2005 18:40
+ titre
Réponse: To speak about it? de jier, postée le 06-05-2005 à 21:19:55 (S | E)
Bonsoir Bab,
Tu m'excuseras mais je n'ai pas eu le courage de te corriger jusqu'au bout...
Voici pour le début.
... can't really speak about this although I am only 16 years old ?
... (0) nevertheless I have an opinion.
It can never be justified insofar as it brings much pain...and a lot of families are rent by death. A war produces so many devastations, as many human as material... on other lands for the slightest motive. It is what they think. But war concerns everybody. It is always present... It brings death and we mustn't forget it. There are circumstances when ...
NB: Revois ton texte sur la base de mes corrections et complète-les toi-même. Certaines erreurs, grossières, reviennent souvent. Tu les remarqueras mieux à présent.
Bon courage pour la suite. Le sujet est tout sauf réjouissant...
Réponse: To speak about it? de jier, postée le 06-05-2005 à 22:16:45 (S | E)
Can
I really speak...Pardon pour n'avoir pas été fichu de me relire correctement.
Promis,
je ne l'ferai plus, m'dam !Réponse: To speak about it? de jardin62, postée le 06-05-2005 à 22:53:43 (S | E)
Bonsoir bab:*Je vais me servir de ce que jier a fait pour t'avancer encore un peu...
jier n'a pas tort de te dire que c'est un gros travail qui t'attend et que tu as beaucoup de corrections à y apporter.
No war can ever be justified. Is a 16-year-old able to have an opinion about that question?
War is something bad. ('dangerous' devient inutle)
Although I am a teenager, I however have an opinion: it (pas 'she') can never be justified insofar as it brings a lot of pain.
As everyone (chacun) knows, war mostly destroys (présent simple) the country and lots of families are ruined by death.
A war is responsible for as many material destructions as human destructions.
Nothing can justify such a cruel thing.
Nowadays people make war on the others' countries for next to nothing (pour un rien).
Many people think they aren't concerned but they are wrong because war should be (devrait être) a concern (un souci) for everyone.
It is present all the time and everywhere.
We shouldn't forget it brings death! There are plenty of examples in the world.
However, some circumstances justify war: when a country wants to cope with its problems for
instance (par exemple). I think it is the only acceptable reason to make war.
But, I don't think such an argument is strong enough.Indeed, war can have two faces: it can be justified when a nation threatens another but it can't be when it's a pretext to carry out tragic battles.
I find that peace can be related with love.
However love is more beautiful and reinforced when ...
*Là je lâche parce que je ne comprends plus ce que tu veux dire, désolée.
* Ton texte devra être reconstruit: il ne semble pas présenter de plan/ Tu te répètes / Ta conclusion est de la traduction automatique impossible à comprendre./ Attention aussi aux grands mots: il est souvent aussi bien d'essayer de dire de grandes idées avec des mots tout simples mais
des phrases bien construites/ Tout n'a pas été revu: à toi d'y mettre tes propres corrections pour la conclusion justement.
*Bon courage.
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Edité par jardin62 le 06-05-2005 22:55
Réponse: To speak about it? de bab0003, postée le 07-05-2005 à 12:40:24 (S | E)
merci beaucoup à vous deux! Je ne pensais pas avoir fait quelque chose d'aussi nul
Je vais m'en occuper cet après-midi, en espérant arriver à bout! A la fin, je voulais dire que la guerre pouvait être utile, mais qu'il ne fallait pas en abuser, enfin cette idée là. Merci encore! J'ai vraiment envie de rendre un travail construit !
INDISPENSABLES : 