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un pti thème pour la route ?
Message de booboz97 posté le 27-06-2006 à 18:42:43 (S | E | F | I)
salut!
Je vous propose ce thème
correction: Lundi 3 Juillet
Lorsque je revins à moi, monsieur, j’étais dans une position et dans une atmosphère dont je ne vous donnerais pas une idée en vous entretenant jusqu’à demain. Le peu d’air que je respirais était méphitique. Je voulus me mouvoir, et ne trouvai point d’espace. En ouvrant les yeux, je ne vis rien. La rareté de l’air fut l’accident le plus menaçant, et qui m’éclaira le plus vivement sur ma position. Je compris que là où j’étais, l’air ne se renouvelait point, et que j’allais mourir. Cette pensée m’ôta le sentiment de la douleur inexprimable par laquelle j’avais été réveillé. Mes oreilles tintèrent violemment. J’entendis, ou crus entendre, je ne veux rien affirmer, des gémissements poussés par le monde de cadavres au milieu duquel je gisais.
Honoré de Balzac, Le Colonel Chabert
Courage
Message de booboz97 posté le 27-06-2006 à 18:42:43 (S | E | F | I)
salut!
Je vous propose ce thème
correction: Lundi 3 Juillet
Lorsque je revins à moi, monsieur, j’étais dans une position et dans une atmosphère dont je ne vous donnerais pas une idée en vous entretenant jusqu’à demain. Le peu d’air que je respirais était méphitique. Je voulus me mouvoir, et ne trouvai point d’espace. En ouvrant les yeux, je ne vis rien. La rareté de l’air fut l’accident le plus menaçant, et qui m’éclaira le plus vivement sur ma position. Je compris que là où j’étais, l’air ne se renouvelait point, et que j’allais mourir. Cette pensée m’ôta le sentiment de la douleur inexprimable par laquelle j’avais été réveillé. Mes oreilles tintèrent violemment. J’entendis, ou crus entendre, je ne veux rien affirmer, des gémissements poussés par le monde de cadavres au milieu duquel je gisais.
Honoré de Balzac, Le Colonel Chabert
Courage
Réponse: un pti thème pour la route ? de bridg, postée le 28-06-2006 à 16:16:51 (S | E)
Hello
Aurais-tu dans tes archives des textes plus réjouissants car entre l'écrivain torturé de l'autre jour et l'ennui mortel que provoque la lecture du Colonel Chabert, tu vas nous rendre dépressifs.
.La traduction que je te propose est lourde, je le sais mais fallait-il casser la structure des phrases ou non ? Je dois dire que j'aurais bien tenté de le faire
Ne hurle pas
When coming back to live sir, I was in a position and an atmosphere about which I won't give you an idea by keeping you up till tomorrow. The little air I breathed was mephitic. I wanted myself to move and found no space. When opening the eyes I saw nothing. The air rarity had been the ominous accident and enlightened me most deeply about my position. I realized that where I was placed the air won't be replenished and I was going to die. This thought removed from me the unspeakable pain feeling which I had been woken up by. My ears rang violently. I listened, or though so, I want to assert nothing, groans pushed by the numerous corpses among which I was lying.
Honoré de Balzac, Le Colonel Chabert
Réponse: un pti thème pour la route ? de babyscot59, postée le 29-06-2006 à 09:31:52 (S | E)
bon j'ai essayé mais là je suis encore dans les brumes matinales
"When I regained consciousness, Sir, I was in a position and in mood that I wouldn’t be able to describe by telling you until tomorrow . The little air I breathed was mephitic. I wanted to move myself but found no space. When I opened my eyes I saw nothing. The rarity of the air was the most threatening incident that made me most aware of my position. I figured out that in the place where I was, the air was not renewed and that I would die. That thought relieved me from the unspeakable pain that had woken me up. My ears tinkled violently. I heard, or allegedly heard, I don’t want to assert it, Strong groans coming from the amount of bodies among which I was lying."
sebastien
Réponse: un pti thème pour la route ? de mp27, postée le 29-06-2006 à 11:44:41 (S | E)
Un "p'tit thème pour la route"??? Alors, attention aux conséquences!
Not for the faint-hearted...
When I regained consciousness, Sir, my position and the air around me were such that, even if I kept talking to you about it till tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to give you any idea of what it was really like. The very little amount of air I could breathe was foul-smelling. I wanted to move and couldn't find any space to do so. When I opened my eyes I couldn't see anything. The lack of air was the most alarming event that made me become vividly aware of my position. I gathered that where I was the air didn't circulate and I would die. That thought killed the sensation of indescribable pain that had woken me up. My ears were ringing violently. I heard – or I thought I heard – I don't want to be positive about it (je pense que je préfère dire: "I can't be sure about it") some groanings uttered by the mound of corpses in the middle of which I was lying.
vision finale un peu macabre... mais... merci tout de même!
Have a good day!
Réponse: un pti thème pour la route ? de zodiac97500, postée le 29-06-2006 à 13:51:08 (S | E)
Coming back to life, Sir,I was in a position and in a mood , about which it would take untill tomorow if we had a discussion about it.
The lille bit of fresh air that I was breathing , was hellish . I wanted to move, butI couldn' t find any room . when I open my eyes,I didn't see anything . the air paucity happened to be the most threatening accident, and awared me the best about my position .I understood that where I was,there wouldn't be any more fresh air, and that I was going to die . This reflection healed the feeling of the inexpressible pain which woke me up . My ears violently tinkled . I heard , or I thought that I heard ,I don't want to pretend ,Wailings from the world of cadavers in the midle of which I was lying
Honré de Balzac , le colonel Chabert
Réponse: un pti thème pour la route ? de booboz97, postée le 29-06-2006 à 16:36:34 (S | E)
c'est bien pour le moment! En effet Bridg il faut se lancer et flirter avec le texte. C'est clair ? Réponse: un pti thème pour la route ? de steeve34, postée le 29-06-2006 à 17:26:04 (S | E)
Hello booboz,
When I came round, Sir, I was on such a position and an atmosphere that I wouldn't be able to give you an idea of that, even if I kept telling you about that until tomorrow.The small amount of air I was breathing was mephitic. I wanted to move and couldn't find any room. On opening my eyes I couldn't see anything. What deeply cast light on my position was the fact that the air was becoming rarefied, which was the most threatening incident. I understood where I was, and hence, I was to die.
This thought relieved the sensation of the inexpressible pain which I had been awoken from. My ears buzzed violently. I heard, or I thought I had heard, I don't want to assert it, some moans coming from the great number of the bodies among which I was lying.
Réponse: un pti thème pour la route ? de maya13, postée le 30-06-2006 à 15:38:29 (S | E)
hello booboz (last translation befor the holiday)
When I came round, Sir, I was in such a position and an atmosphere, that, even if I kept on telling you about that until tomorrow, I couldn't give you the least idea. The little quantity of air I could breathe was noxious. I tried to move and did not find any room. On opening my eyes I did not see anything. The scarcity of the air was the most threatening accident and that enlightened me deeply about my position. I realized that where I was the air was not renewed and that I was going to die. This thought soothed the inexpressible pain that had woken me up. My ears rang violently.. I heard, or I believed I heard, I can't assert this, moanings coming from the heap of corpses among which I was lying.
thank you that was delightful.
Réponse: un pti thème pour la route ? de coferam, postée le 01-07-2006 à 18:42:00 (S | E)
Bonjour Booboz97
When I returned to me, sir, I was in a position and in an atmosphere which I would not give you an idea by maintaining you until tomorrow. The bit of air which I inhaled was méphitique. I wanted to move me, and did not find a space. By opening eyes, I saw nothing. The rarity of the air was the most threatening accident, and which lit me most deeply on my position. I understood that there where I was, the air was not renewed, and that I was going to die. This thought removed me the feeling of the unspeakable pain by which I had been woken. My ears rang violently. I listened, or believed to hear, I want to assert nothing, groans pushed by the world of corpses in the middle of which I was lying.
Honoré de Balzac, The Colonel Chabert.
Merci et à la prochaine.
Réponse: un pti thème pour la route ? de bobine, postée le 02-07-2006 à 15:42:34 (S | E)
Hello,
here is my try (sans generateur car chaque fois j'y touche je le casse)
When I came back to life, Sir, I was in a position and in an atmosphere of which I would not give you an idea by speaking to you until tomorrow. The small quantity of air I inhaled was foul. I wanted to move, and did not find enough space. By opening my eyes, I saw nothing. The lack of air was the most threatening accident, and which threw light me most deeply on my position. I understood that there where I was, the air was not renewed, and that I was going to die. This thought removed me the feeling of the unspeakable pain by which I had been woken. My ears rang violently. I heard, or believed to hear, I don’t want to assert anything, some groans pushed by the large amount of corpses in the middle of which I was lying.
Réponse: un pti thème pour la route ? de julius, postée le 02-07-2006 à 18:01:02 (S | E)
Salut !
Je découvre depuis quelques jours le fonctionnement de ce site. Après avoir essayé "une version pour la forme " -pour la forme, donc- j'ai été curieux de ce thème qui était évoqué. Même si pour l'instant il n'y a pas pour moi de route en vue...j'essaie.
When I came round, Sir, I was in such a position and an atmosphere that I couldn't give you any idea even if I kept conversing with you till tomorrow. The little air I was breathing was mephitic. I wanted to move, and I found no space. When I opened my eyes, I saw nothing. The scarcity of the air was the most threatening incident, and which made me the most acutely aware of my situation. I understood that where I was, there was no renewed air, and I was to die. This thought removed from my mind the unspeakable sensation of pain which had revived me. My ears rang violently. I heard, or I believed I heard, for I don't want to assert anything, groans heaved by the world of corpses in the middle of witch I was lying.
J'ignore la régularité avec laquelle ces textes sont proposés, mais ça représente une bonne ( et salutaire ) dose de boulot ( pour moi, en tout cas ! ).
Réponse: un pti thème pour la route ? de booboz97, postée le 03-07-2006 à 17:45:05 (S | E)
Salut
Et félicitations pour vos traductions... Voici une proposition de corrigé en guise d'auto correction voire de point de vue différent.
When I came to myself (1), Sir, I was in a position and an atmosphere of which I could give you no idea if I talked till tomorrow. That little air there was to breathe was foul. I tried to move and found no space/room at all. I opened my eyes and saw nothing. The most alarming circumstance was the lack of air and this considerably enlightened me as to my plight. I understood that no fresh air could reach me where I was and that I was going to die. This thought extinguished the feeling of unutterable/intolerable pain which had aroused me. There was a violent ringing in my ears. I heard or thought I could hear - I don’t want to be too assertive about it - groans coming from the world of corpses among which I was lying.
(1) variante: when I came round/when I came to.
à bientôt
INDISPENSABLES : 