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Alcohol in public areas
Message de jeanmi posté le 07-07-2005 à 10:14:16 (S | E | F | I)



Hello every body,

Here is a new subject to be discussed and checked. Hopefully it will once again help you improve your English.

"Considering that smoking is dangerous for others especially those who don't smoke and above all children, does alcohol affect others as much as tobacco?"
Au plaisir de corriger vos essais...


-------------------
Edité par grabuge le 07-07-2005 12:06 - Etoiles


Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de magmatic_rock, postée le 07-07-2005 à 12:14:27 (S | E)
Hello jeanmi, avant tout merci pour le synonime de especially que je ne connaissez pas! Ca me fera un mot de plus!

It's the kind of question where even in french I've a hard time to answer well, so in english it wont be easy! Not at all!
Directly, alcohol can't touch the others like with the cigarette because for the cigarette, all go off of your noise or mouth and come over bother the others who are the smoker. Whereas the alcohol emit any smelt (save to stinck of the mouth). However, at indirect sense, alcohol can affect the others. How? Well, drink a lot can be the death of if you have too drunk or if you're actually silly and take your car to come back. In that case, the others will stand for your relative and so, if a misadventure arises, your familly will be sadden. But, in my opinion, it's better drinking than smoking because to drink is a personal hassle whereas to smoke can vitiate the life of others people too!


so much and very sorry for all stupidity!


Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de moudounou, postée le 07-07-2005 à 14:03:49 (S | E)
Hello everybody ; bon je me lance en espérant que se ne sera pas trop désatreux
At first, alcohol cannot be dangerous if it is consumed prudently. Anyway, the specialists praise the merits of a win glass by day.
Meanwhile, we can notice the harmful effects of an alcoholic or of a drunk person on the others.
They can become very dangerous, while a smoker will not present of violence signs.
Therefore, I think that the cigarette is ill-fated for us and people who surround us ; what does the dose matter.
But which it will not make somebody dangerous like the alcoholic.
In both cases, the consequences can be disastrous. But contrary to the cigarette, alcohol will not bring anything harmful if it is consumed with moderation. In contrary case, I think that alcohol becomes more dangerous than the tobacco for oneself and for the others.

Voili, voilou, à plus tout le monde.
Jeanmi.
Moudounou.


Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de lucile83, postée le 07-07-2005 à 16:10:02 (S | E)
Hello,
Voici ma réflexion sur le sujet :

We can consider smoking is dangerous for everybody . Is alcohol as dangerous as smoking ?
You know I am a smoker, I told you so a few days ago. I won’t say I drink alcohol for I drink some wine when having lunch or dinner, and if there’s no wine, at school for instance, I am not upset and I can easily do without it.
In my life I saw people who couldn’t prevent themselves from drinking a glass or more, sometimes much more, of alcohol. All of them got destroyed and they destroyed their family and social life. That is a disaster, especially when we can’t do anything to rescue them. For me it is a sort of suicide.
That’s why I should say alcohol is one of the worst thing in the world, much worse than smoking because even if you are used to smoke you can have a social life. If you are used to drink alcohol you can’t any longer.

See you soon




Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de grabuge, postée le 07-07-2005 à 20:56:12 (S | E)
Hello Jeanmi,

Alcohol like tobacco is an addiction but I think that alcoholic persons don't bother others as much as tobacco. Generally, almost nobody knows that a man (or a woman of course) is alcoholic. Usually, people laugh about anyone in the thrall of alcohol. Of course, I don't speak here about the accidents of the road because of alcohol.
It's different for the family and relatives. Listening to the song of Renaud "Mister Renard, Mister Renaud - I believe" can give us an idea about the alcoholics' behavior. How many crimes was perpetrated in the thrall of alcohol ? How many women (they are in majority) suffered pain and still suffer from having an alcoholic partner and particularly, I think about all the children who see their youth annihilated by the presence of an alcoholic parent without speaking about their adult life.

Jeanmi, I know, I promise you to make no mistakes... but it's still difficult. I'm sorry.



-------------------
Edité par grabuge le 09-07-2005 15:00 Jeanmi pour la correction


Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de masselotte, postée le 07-07-2005 à 21:38:20 (S | E)
Bonsoir jeanmi


Alcohol is the greatest flail that a society knowing ,because the flail touch all the social stratum and particularly the youngsters ,and their number is constantly in increase .When a member of the family is hit by it all the other members of this one are infected by their comportments, who are more or less violent and dangerous too, especially when he is a man.Fortunately there is different withdrawal center who can helping them,with a condition that the person recognizing that he is ill and he want to take a withdrawal cure .

thank you for the correction flyweight


Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de jeanmi, postée le 09-07-2005 à 11:25:13 (S | E)
Good morning Magnatic Rock,

Here is the correction of your essay.

It's the kind of question where which (1) even in French I've a hard time to answer well, so in English it wont be easy! Not at all!
Directly, alcohol can't touch the others like with the cigarette because for the cigarette, all goes (2) off out of your noise nose or mouth and come over (3)bothers the others who are the smoker (4). Whereas the(5) alcohol doesn'temit any smelt smell (save to stinck except the one going out of the mouth). However, at indirect sense, alcohol can affect the others. How? Well, drinking (6) a lot can be the death deadly of if you have too drunk if your are too drunkor if you're actually silly and take your car to come back. In that case, the others will stand for your relative and so (3), if a misadventure arises happens, your familly will be sadden. But, in my opinion, it's better drinking than smoking because to drink drinking (6)is a personal hassle whereas to smoke smoking (6)can vitiate / affect the life of others people too!


(1) Revoyez l'emploi des pronoms relatifs en faisant par exemple l'exercice suivant :Lien Internet


(2) lorsque vous conjuguez un verbe au présent simple à la troisième personne du singulier (he, she, it), n'oubliez pas la terminaison en S : Lien Internet


(3) je ne comprends pas ce que vous avez voulu dire...

(4) il me semble qu'il y ait un contresens dans votre phrase...

(5) Lorsque vous parler d'une chose en général, ici, l'alcool en général, n'utilisez pas d'article "the".

(6) Lorsqu'un verbe est sujet d'une phrase, il se termine obligatoirement en ING.

Bravo pour vos efforts, mais essayez de ne pas trop être dépendant du dictionnaire, et lorsque vous devez vous exprimer librement, essayez d'utiliser du vocabulaire courant...


Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de jeanmi, postée le 09-07-2005 à 11:36:40 (S | E)
Hello Moudounou,

Here is the correction of your essay...

At first, alcohol cannot be dangerous if it is consumed prudently. Anyway, the specialists praise the merits of a win glass glass of wine by day.
Meanwhile, we can notice the harmful effects of an alcoholic or of a drunk person on the others.
They can become very dangerous, while a smoker will not present of violence signs.
Therefore, I think that the cigarette is ill-fated for us and people who surround us ; what does the dose matter whatever the dose.
But which it will not make somebody dangerous like the alcoholic alcohol.
In both cases, the consequences can be disastrous. But contrary to the cigarette, alcohol will not bring anything harmful if it is consumed with moderation. In contrary case on the contrary, I think that alcohol becomes is more dangerous than the (1) tobacco for oneself and for the others.


Bon essai, pas d'erreurs grammaticales graves, juste quelques erreurs de construction ou de vocabulaire.

(1) Lorsqu'un nom est utilisé au sens général, on ne met pas "THE".




Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de jeanmi, postée le 09-07-2005 à 11:40:23 (S | E)
Hello Lucile,

Chacun son tour de faire souffrir l'autre...

Ton texte est parfait, tant dans l'expression, mais ce n'est pas une surprise, que dans les arguments.

Lucile


Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de lucile83, postée le 09-07-2005 à 11:51:36 (S | E)
à toi de nous procurer l'occasion d'essayer d'atteindre sinon la perfection du moins un haut niveau; on se fait "souffrir" mutuellement, un peu comme des sportifs qui s'entrainent à longueur de journée et je trouve cela génial !
See you soon


Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de jeanmi, postée le 09-07-2005 à 11:53:49 (S | E)
Hello Grabuge,

Here is the correction of your essay...

Alcohol like tobacco is an addiction but I think that alcoholics (1) persons don't bother others as much as tobacco. Generally, almost nobody knows that a man (or a woman of course) is alcoholic. Usually, people laughs (2) about anyone in the thrall of alcohol. Of course, I don't speak here about the road's (3) accidents because of alcohol.
It's different for the family and closes relatives. Listening to the song of Renaud "Mister Renard, Mister Renaud - I believe can give us an idea about the alcoholics' behavior. How many crimes was perpetrated in the thrall of alcohol ? How many women (they are in majority) suffered pain and still suffer to have from having (4)an alcoholic partner and particularly, I think about all the children who see their youth annihilated by the presence of an alcoholic parent without speaking about their adult life.


Rassure-toi Grabuge, cet essai est très bien, même s'il contredit dans le développement la première phrase...

(1) alcoholic est ici un adjectif et ne peut donc pas prendre la marque du pluriel, les adjectifs en anglais étant invariables.

(2) "people" est un mot pluriel, le verbe qui suit au présent simple ne prend donc pas de "S".

(3) La marque du génitif ('s) sert principalement à exprimer un rapport d'appartenance, or ici, les accidents n'appartiennent pas à la route...

(4) souffrir de = suffer from (+ nom ou V-ING)

Je ne t'en veux pas d'avoir fait quelques erreurs, c'est humain et c'est essentiel pour pouvoir progresser.




Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de magmatic_rock, postée le 09-07-2005 à 11:58:15 (S | E)
beaucoup pour la correction. C'est allucinant les fautes que je fais comme ING ou S pour la troisième personne! Je le sais mais pourtant elles reviennent très souvent chez moi!
Pour le (3) où vous avez pas compris "In that case, the others will stand for your relative and so (3), if a misadventure arises happens, " j'ai voulu dire par le "and so" et donc.
Je suis vraiment déçu de moi là! Les fautes commises sont vraiment des fautes de petit débutant et la prochaîne fois je ferais mieux et surtout plus attention!



Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de jeanmi, postée le 09-07-2005 à 12:11:40 (S | E)
Hello Masselotte,

Voici la correction de ton essai.

Alcohol is the greatest flail curse (1) that a society knowing knows (2),because the flail curse touches (3) all the social stratums and particularly the youngsters ,and their number is constantly in increase increasing.When a member of the family is hit by it all the other members of this one are infected affected by their his comportmentsbehaviour, who which (4) are is more or less violent and dangerous too, especially when he is a man.Fortunately there is are different withdrawal detoxification centers who which (4) can helping (5) them,with a condition that the person recognizing recognizes (2)that he is ill and he wants (3) to take a withdrawal detoxification cure .

(1) a flail = fléau dans le sens agricole du terme, a curse = fléau au sens général.

(2) Un verbe en ING n'est pas un verbe conjugué. Ici, "c'est le plus grand fléau qu'un société connaisse", le verbe connaître est conjugué, vous devez donc le transposer au présent simple.

(3) Attention lorsque vous conjuguez un verbe au présent simple, à la troisième personne du singulier (he, she, it) à ne pas oublier la terminaison "S".

(4) Voir plus haut, pour l'emploi des pronoms relatifs.

(5) CAN est un auxiliaire de modalité, de même que MAY, MIGHT, MUST...
Et ces auxilaires sont suivis exclusivement d'une base verbale : CAN + V

Je vous encourage à continuer de la sorte, les erreurs que vous avez commises ne doivent pas vous arrêter, au contraire, elles vous permettront de progresser.
Courage.


Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de jeanmi, postée le 09-07-2005 à 12:17:34 (S | E)
Re-bonjour Magnatic Rock,

Ce que je n'ai pas compris, c'est ce que vous avez voulu dire par :
the others will stand for your relative ...

Que vos erreurs ne vous empêchent pas de continuer, que vous les commettiez plusieurs fois, n'est pas en soi un grave problème, l'important c'est que vous vous en rendiez compte et vous verrez qu'elles finiront pas disparaître d'elles-même. Je le répète, on apprend beaucoup par l'erreur... Pensez à l'apprentissage du Français...

Courage.


Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de moudounou, postée le 09-07-2005 à 12:32:26 (S | E)
beaucoup jeanmi, c'est sympa de nous proposer un sujet et de nous corrigé avec des détails. Encore une fois . A ce fameux emploie ou non du "the", j' aurai du m'en souvenir; la prochaine fois j'essayerai d'y penser, promis.
See you soon. Moudounou.





Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de masselotte, postée le 09-07-2005 à 13:12:03 (S | E)
Bonjour jeanmi


Merci pour tout jeanmi ,le travail donné et la correction



Billions of blue blistering barnacles il faut absolument que la prochaine fois je fasse mieux

Bonne journée jeanmi à bientôt flyweight


Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de magmatic_rock, postée le 10-07-2005 à 00:49:29 (S | E)
Oui je sais pas moi non plus! to stand for= représenter et relative = famille pour moi bien sur! Donc peut être est-ce faux! mais après c'est vrai que même si mes traductions sont justes (pour les mots) la phrase ne veut rien dire!


Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de bridg, postée le 10-07-2005 à 22:42:49 (S | E)

Yes smoking is bad and dangerous for the smoker’s health included and the health of the people around him. But a smoker is able to work, having and have social relations and a happy family. It needs takes 20 years to be ill with tobacco; it needs takes 1 year to become an alcoholic and an evening to be dangerous for us and the others.
To be an occasionally druinker is not a problem if we don’t drive when we’re tired and drunk.
I have been working in emergencies department an emergency room and operating theatres for almost 30 years, and each day, each night, when I’m called in for an accident or a fight, it’s never a cigarette involved.

-------------------
Edité par traviskidd le 13-09-2005 17:30
If you don't mind, I've offered my correction directly.


Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de jeanmi, postée le 10-07-2005 à 22:57:54 (S | E)
Hello Bridg,

Here is the correction of your essay...

Yes smoking is bad and dangerous for the smoker’s health included people around him. But a smoker is able to work, having social relations and a happy family. It needs 20 years to be ill with tobacco; it needs 1 year to be alcoholic and an evening to be dangerous for us and the others.
To be Being (1) an occasionally drunker drinker is not a problem if we don’t drive when we’re tired and drunk.
I have been working in emergencies department and operating theatres for almost 30 years, each day, each night, when I’m called for an accident, a fight, it’s never a cigarette involved the cigarette is never involved / it's never because of a cigarette..


Very good work.

1) Rappel : un verbe sujet d'une phrase, bien qu'il soit à l'infinitif en français, il est bien en ING en anglais.

Félicitations tant pour la qualité de l'expression que pour la qualité du contenu, la dernière phrase laissera sans aucun doute réfléchir...

See you...

-------------------
Edité par traviskidd le 13-09-2005 17:13
"It's never a cigarette (that is) involved" is ok!


Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de bridg, postée le 10-07-2005 à 23:03:23 (S | E)
Merci jeanmi, ces tentatives d'expressions écrites en anglais sont nouvelles pour moi et je suis ravie d'y participer. Tout ce que je sais aujourd'hui c'est ici que je l'ai acquis.



Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de oil, postée le 13-09-2005 à 14:36:26 (S | E)
Hello Jeanmi,

Here is a second attempt on a burning issue…

Bridg said she has seen so many people wounded (or worste) in accidents caused by alcohol. But, in my opinion, it isn't the alcohol which is responsible but the behaviour of thise alcoholics: the lack of thought, selfishness and the human stupidity who don't which makes people not care about the others. Some other people decide to do a car's racing have a car race and drive at 300 km/h on a road. Road accident victims die because of them and alcohol isn't involved. The consequences of the cigarettes on the health are various and numerous but less spectacular than those of road accidents. Personally, my father haves had a leg cut off because of the cigarettes and so many people hasve been dying a slow death. So to smoke isn't good and to drink too much isn't good neither. So Now I certainly have around me alcoholics but I don't know they are. But it isn't the same with the smokers who make me breathe their smoke. The worst for me is to suffer from any product it that can be the dependency addictive. It is a loss of freedom. I really do make unpopular comments but I really love to have different argument exchange different points of view .

It is like that That is how we make progress: the through debate !



-------------------
Edité par traviskidd le 13-09-2005 17:06


Réponse: Alcohol in public areas de frany65, postée le 13-09-2005 à 17:20:47 (S | E)
Bonjour Jeanmi,

First, alcohol doesn't disturb the others like the cigarettes' smoke. A person who drinks moderately doesn't disturb noanybody if his or her attitude is correct. A glass of wine is a pleasure in a good meal around goods friends. But when people drink more, then alcohol becomes a problem for the society, because alcohol affects the personnal life of the drinker, his or her health, his or her work, the relations with his or her friends. All his or her whole life has been conditioned by alcohol. Iit is a kind of suicide. Hhe or she wants to tell express his or her bad-being sad state. Too much alcohol can destroy lifves when heavy drinkers drive. For the society, the bill is heavy and the prevention must be make prevention measures must be taken for the youngs at school and also at home.

merci Jeanmi pour cette excellente réflexion...

-------------------
Edité par traviskidd le 13-09-2005 17:47
-too much "his or her" (you can just use "his" or, less correct but more common, "their")
-too much use of "the"
-attention to conjugations!




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