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Tout ce qui a un rapport avec l'apprentissage de l'anglais: grammaire, orthographe, aides aux devoirs, phrases etc.
mon texte est-il correct?
Message de cames6 posté le 29-10-2005 à 17:10:03 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour / mon texte est-il correct.
Oscar is a little boy of ten years, who lives at the hospital because his leukaemia. A nurse, his favourite, advice him to write to god for tells him his days. Since his transplant, his doctor looks sad, he has pity for Oscar. When Oscar speaks to die he has the impression to speak to a wall. His parents come to see him once a week, but Oscar doesn't wait this visit with impatiently. He doesn't like his parents. One day, his nurse, the pink lady, propose him to play a game : to count one day for ten years. Since Oscar tells each .....
Dans la dernière phrase je voulais écrire depuis oscar raconte chaque étape de sa vie mais je ne sais pas comment le traduire
Merci d'avance de votre aide
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Edité par bridg le 29-10-2005 17:12
report du titre dans le post(le titre est une chose, l'intoduction à votre demande une autre)
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Edité par serena le 31-10-2005 11:18
Correction du titre : "mon texteest t'il est-il correct?"
Message de cames6 posté le 29-10-2005 à 17:10:03 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour / mon texte est-il correct.
Oscar is a little boy of ten years, who lives at the hospital because his leukaemia. A nurse, his favourite, advice him to write to god for tells him his days. Since his transplant, his doctor looks sad, he has pity for Oscar. When Oscar speaks to die he has the impression to speak to a wall. His parents come to see him once a week, but Oscar doesn't wait this visit with impatiently. He doesn't like his parents. One day, his nurse, the pink lady, propose him to play a game : to count one day for ten years. Since Oscar tells each .....
Dans la dernière phrase je voulais écrire depuis oscar raconte chaque étape de sa vie mais je ne sais pas comment le traduire
Merci d'avance de votre aide
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Edité par bridg le 29-10-2005 17:12
report du titre dans le post(le titre est une chose, l'intoduction à votre demande une autre)
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Edité par serena le 31-10-2005 11:18
Correction du titre : "mon texte
Réponse: mon texte est t'il correct de ruofei, postée le 29-10-2005 à 17:52:58 (S | E)
Bonjour cames
Il y a certaines phrases qui ne sont peu claires (celles que j'ai soulignées): j'espère que vous reviendrez en les explicitant . En attendant, voici une première correction:
Oscar is a little boy of ten years (a little 10-year old boy), who lives at the hospital because of his leukaemia. A nurse, his favourite his favo(u)rite nurse once advised him to write to God and tell Him about his story. Since his transplant, his doctor has looked sad and felt pity for Oscar. When Oscar speaks to die he has the impression to speak to a wall
. His parents come to see him once a week, but Oscar 
, proposed him to play a game : to count one day for ten years (in which he had to pretend that one day was 10 years...est-ce là le sens de votre phrase?). Since Oscar tells each .....Raconter chaque étape de sa vie: “tell about each stage in his life”**
Bonne journée
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Edité par ruofei le 29-10-2005 17:54
Réponse: mon texte est t'il correct de cames6, postée le 29-10-2005 à 22:27:07 (S | E)
alors d'abord merci pour votre réponse et ensuite dans la première phrase soulignée je voulais dire quand oscar parle(
The pink lady je voulais dire la dame rose et je voulais savoir comment dire mamie rose c'est en fait(
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Edité par bridg le 29-10-2005 22:31
Réponse: mon texte est t'il correct de fannaille, postée le 30-10-2005 à 10:30:28 (S | E)
Bonjour,
When Oscar talks about death, he has the impression that he talks to a wall : quand Oscar parle de la mort, il a l'impression de parler à un mur. Ou bien :
When Oscar talks about death, it is as if he was talking to a wall : Quand Oscar parle de la mort, c'est comme s'il parlait à un mur.
La femme en rose : The lady in pink (pink lady = la femme rose)
I hope this will help you!
Réponse: mon texte est t'il correct de fencing1, postée le 30-10-2005 à 10:46:59 (S | E)
Réponse: suite de mon résumé, de cames6, postée le 30-10-2005 à 10:42:50 (S | E)
Bonjour, auriez-vous la gentillesse de corriger la suite de mon travail s'il vous plaît?. Merci
Since Oscar tells about each stage of his life in his letters. He passt good time with his girlfriend, Peggy Blue, they each other storys (= ici je veux dire ils se racontent des hisoires), listen music. Pink Granny (= mamie-rose), teach him thing of God, of his suffering, she gives him the desire for living his last days. Peggy Blue is left, Oscar is alone, sad, he decide to fuguer ?. He hides in the car og pink granny ( il se cache dans la voiture de mamir rose). She doesn’t notice anything and go to her home (elle ne remarque rien et rentre chez elle) When she discovers Oscar, she knows immediately why he has fuger ?, because his parents. Ici j’aimerais écrire « il croit que ses parents ne l’aiment plus » Pink granny explains him that his parents like it, but they are fear of the disease, fear wich it removes Oscar (= mais ils peur, peur que la maladie enlève Oscar) In the game, he has now 110 years old, il sent que la mort va l’enmenner ? The last letter is Pink Granny who wrtites, she tells that the little boy died. She is sad, she has the heavy heart ( elle a le coeur lourd ), thanks to him she was happy, funny. The last days Oscar had a sign of his table, he had written “Only God has the right to amake me” ( seul Dieu a le droit de me réveiller)
J’aimerais savoir si mon texte est correct
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Edité par bridg le 30-10-2005 11:07
Bonjour
J'aimerais assez ne pas avoir à introduire toutes vos demande en y ajoutant les formules d'usage !! Merci
Réponse: mon texte est t'il correct de cames6, postée le 30-10-2005 à 11:40:41 (S | E)
bonjour! est ce que vous pourriez me corriger mon texte
! MERCIBONNE JOURNEE
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Edité par bridg le 30-10-2005 11:41
Sans crier en lettres capitales et sans écrire en abrégé ce sera parfait. Merci
Réponse: mon texte est t'il correct de cames6, postée le 30-10-2005 à 11:43:42 (S | E)
excusez moi est-ce-que vous pouvez le corriger ?
Réponse: mon texte est t'il correct de ruofei, postée le 30-10-2005 à 12:48:44 (S | E)
Re-bonjour cames,
Certaines phrases sont maladroites mais j'ai surtout fais attention à la grammaire. et l'orthographe. Voici donc:
Since then, Oscar has written about each stage of his life in his letters. He has/spends good time with his girlfriend, Peggy Blue, they telleach other stories (= ici je veux dire ils se racontent des hisoires) and listen music. Pink Granny (= mamie-rose) teaches him Gods suffering.She gives him the desire for /ofliving his last days. Peggy Blue has left, Oscar is nowalone and sad. He decides to escape/run away. He hides in Pink Granny's car( il se cache dans la voiture de mamir rose). She doesn’t notice anything and goes home (elle ne remarque rien et rentre chez elle) When she finds Oscar, she knows immediately figures/guesseswhy he has ran away; his parents. Ici j’aimerais écrire « il croit que ses parents ne l’aiment plus » = he thinks that his parents don't love him anymore. Pink granny explains
he wrote “Only God has the right to awake me” ( seul Dieu a le droit de me réveiller)1) N'oublie pas le -s quand tu conjugue au présent à la 3ème personne du singulier.
2) N'abuse pas trop de l'utilisation des virgules et essaie à la place d'utiliser plus de connecteur logique (then, and, but, finally, although...)
Bonne journée.
Réponse: mon texte est t'il correct de cames6, postée le 30-10-2005 à 20:20:01 (S | E)
merci beaucoup !
Réponse: mon texte est t'il correct de ruofei, postée le 31-10-2005 à 05:18:41 (S | E)
Réponse: mon texte est t'il correct de cames6, postée le 31-10-2005 à 09:32:31 (S | E)
Oscar is a little boy of ten years, who lives at the hospital because of his leukaemia. A nurse, his advised him to write to God and tell him about his story. Since his transplant, his doctor has looked sad and felt pity for Oscar. When Oscar talks about death, he has the impression that he talks to a wall. His parents come to see him once a week, but Oscar never looks forward to seeing them ;he doesn't like his parents. One day, his nurse, the pink lady, her pink granny, proposed him to play a game : to count one day for ten years.
Since then, Oscar has written about each stage of his life in his letters. He spends good time with his girlfriend, Peggy Blue, they tell each other stories and listen music. Pink Granny teaches him Gods suffering.She gives him the desire for living his last days. Peggy Blue has left, Oscar is alone and sad. He decides to escape. He hides in Pink Granny's car .She doesn’t notice anything and goes home .When she finds Oscar, she knows immediately why he has ran away; his parents. He thinks that his parents don't love him anymore. Pink granny explains that his parents like him, but are afraid that death might take Oscar's life away. In the game, he is now 110 years old, he feels that death is coming.The last letter is written by Pink Granny, she writes that the little boy died. She is sad, thanks she was once so happy with him around. During his last days, Oscar had a sign of his table, he wrote “Only God has the right to awake me”
Merci de votre aide j’ai recopier le texte en y faisant les corrections mais je ne comprend pas certaines phrases. En 4ème on ne m’a pas encore appris cela. Et je ne suis pas très fort.
Est ce que vous pourriez me les expliquer ? merci
Réponse: mon texte est-il correct? de ruofei, postée le 31-10-2005 à 13:12:54 (S | E)
Bonjour Cames,
ton texte, même révisé, demande encore une petite correction:
Oscar is a little
(...)
One day, his nurse, the pink lady, her pink granny, proposed him to play a game : to count one day for ten years (un peu maladroit...je dirais: to pretend that one day was 10 years).
Since then, Oscar has written about each stage of his life in his letters. He spends good time with his girlfriend, Peggy Blue, they tell each other stories and listen to music. Pink Granny teaches him God's suffering.She gives him the desire to live his last days.
(...)
She is sad,
(je ne comprends toujours pas le sens de cette phrase, he wrote “Only God has the right to awake me” Maintenant, je ne sais pas quelles phrases te posent problèmes, il faut que tu reviennes en me les signalant. Je me ferai un plaisir de pouvoir t'aider. A bientôt.
Réponse: mon texte est-il correct? de cames6, postée le 31-10-2005 à 13:49:02 (S | E)
merci d'avoir encore une fois corriger ! les phrases en rouges me posent problème
..... His parents come to see him once a week, but Oscar never looks forward to seeing them ;he doesn't like his parents. One day, his nurse, the pink lady, her pink granny, proposed him to play a game : to count one day for ten years.
Since then, Oscar has written about each stage of his life in his letters. He spends good time with his girlfriend, Peggy Blue, they tell each other stories and listen music. ........him anymore. Pink granny explains that his parents like him, but are afraid that death might take Oscar's life away. .......the little boy died. She is sad, thanks she was once so happy with him around. During his last days, Oscar had a sign of his table, he wrote “Only God has the right to awake me” (( ce texte n'est pas encore corriger ))
Réponse: mon texte est-il correct? de cames6, postée le 31-10-2005 à 13:50:33 (S | E)
ah et j'ai oublié ! la phrase ""Oscar had a sign of his table"" je voulais dire oscar avait une pancarte sur sa table.
Réponse: mon texte est-il correct? de ruofei, postée le 31-10-2005 à 14:20:20 (S | E)
Bonjour Cames
1) ***But Oscar doesn’t wait for this visit impatiently…
J’avais bien deviné ce que tu entendais par là et ai pensé que « ne pas avoir hâte » serait plus approprié et allègerait la phrase.
To look forward to (+v-ING) = avoir hâte de, être impatient de
2) To tell each other stories = 2 personnes se racontent des histoires.
3) ***but they are fear of the disease, fear wich it removes Oscar (= mais ils peur, peur que la maladie enlève Oscar).
‘fear’ n’est pas un adjectif mais un nom que tu ne peux pas l’utiliser avec le verbe “to be”. Par ailleurs, **fear which it removes Oscar, c’est de l’anglais copié mot à mot depuis le français…et qui n'est donc pas vraiment censé.
J’ai corrigé par: "They are afraid that death might take Oscar’s life away" (ils avaient peur que la mort n’emporte la vie d’Oscar) L’utilisation du modal “might” induit un doute. (il y a une réponse récente apportée par Traviskidd à propos de “I’m afraid it might rain” Lien Internet
)
4) *** She is sad,
Ta phrase initiale n’est pas complètement fausse. En ajoutant « once » (autrefois): "she was once so happy with him around" (sans le 'thanks'), je voulais montrer la rupture nette entre le temps où il était là et le présent. (elle avait été si heureuse quand il était encore là)
5) je pense que « a sign » est maladroit ici, j’emploierais plutôt “a note” (=lettre personnelle courte). "During his last days, Oscar left/dropped a note on his table saying “Only God has the right to awake me”.
Voilà, est-ce un peu plus clair
maintenant?PS : you’re always
Réponse: mon texte est-il correct? de cames6, postée le 31-10-2005 à 18:58:16 (S | E)
ah oui c'est très clair ! j'ai tout compris
merci beaucoup
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