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Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
Tout ce qui a un rapport avec l'apprentissage de l'anglais: grammaire, orthographe, aides aux devoirs, phrases etc.

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please, correct my essay
Message de frenchgirl75 posté le 16-04-2006 à 20:17:35 (S | E | F | I)

Hi everybody, please could you correct my little essay ….Here the subject: Why to disaster bring people together? Use example to justify your answer.

It cannot be denied that disasters bring people together. Everybody forget its prejudices, its rancours, its fears, to overcome the danger. When a drama occurred, people forget the superficial things of the life and try to survive or help the others to survive. For example: When there was the drama of the tsunamy in Asia, all people were very shocked and saddened by this incident. A real system to help victims of Tsunamy was set up. There were many gifts of money and food. The voluntary ones were sent to help the population. A real feeling of solidarity was born from this tragedy. The populations were concerned with the same cause, fought against the same thing. This leads to the conclusion that, very often, people are to bind only in the danger.


Thank you very much with all those which will help me!


Réponse: please, correct my essay de jyc_maureen, postée le 17-04-2006 à 15:51:42 (S | E)
Here the correction of your text :

It cannot (can't) be denied that disasters bring people together. Everybody forgets its their* prejudices, their rancours, their fears, to overcome the danger. When a drama occurs, people forget the superficial things of the life and try to survive or help the others to survive. For example: When there was the drama of the tsunami in Asia, all people were very shocked and saddened by this incident. A real system to help the tsunami's victims was set up. There were many donations (gifts) of money and food. First, the Voluntarieseers were sent to help the population. A real feeling of solidarity was born from this tragedy. The populations were concerned with the same problem, and fought against the same thing. This leads to the conclusion that, very often, people are bound only in the danger.

I hope I could have helped was able to help you !
Good luck with this essay
Joyce

-------------------
Modifié par traviskidd le 17-04-2006 18:29
*En fait "his" serait plus correct que "their" puisque "everybody" agit comme un singulier, mais de nos jours il est commun d'utiliser "they/them/their" au lieu de "he/him/his" lorsque le sexe est indéterminé.



Réponse: please, correct my essay de frenchgirl75, postée le 17-04-2006 à 20:49:32 (S | E)
Thanks a lot for your answer




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