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Description/correction
Message de lizie posté le 27-09-2006 à 20:52:54 (S | E | F | I)
bonjour! .
je voudrais savoir si il etait possible de me dire ce qui ne va pas dans ma description, merci d'avance!!!
this picture is a cartoon where we can see a mouse who is like a man of average height, sat in front of a computer. this mouse give the impression to be very interested by what she discovers, and at the same time, with a very accustomed asped. this mouse probably is examining internet, with his hand on his computer mouse, with is not as the others because computer mouse is a man who is small, as a computer mouse. this picture is very funny because the daughtsman seek to make us tought with the word " computer mouse". this drawning is amusing.
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Modifié par bridg le 27-09-2006 20:54
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Message de lizie posté le 27-09-2006 à 20:52:54 (S | E | F | I)
bonjour! .
je voudrais savoir si il etait possible de me dire ce qui ne va pas dans ma description, merci d'avance!!!
this picture is a cartoon where we can see a mouse who is like a man of average height, sat in front of a computer. this mouse give the impression to be very interested by what she discovers, and at the same time, with a very accustomed asped. this mouse probably is examining internet, with his hand on his computer mouse, with is not as the others because computer mouse is a man who is small, as a computer mouse. this picture is very funny because the daughtsman seek to make us tought with the word " computer mouse". this drawning is amusing.
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Modifié par bridg le 27-09-2006 20:54
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Réponse: Description/correction de jean31, postée le 27-09-2006 à 22:38:52 (S | E)
Bonsoir lizie,
C'est parti !
Mes indications entre parenthèses concernent le mot immédiatement précédent.
Ce qui est entre [...] est à supprimer.
this(majuscule) picture is a cartoon where we can see a mouse who(antécédent animal, donc...) is like a man of average height, sat(participe présent toujours dans ce cas) in front of a computer. this(idem) mouse give(sujet singulier, donc...) the impression to be very interested by what she(sujet animal, donc...) discovers, and at the same time, with a very accustomed asped.(orthographe) this(encore !) mouse probably(place de l'adverbe entre l'auxiliaire et le verbe) is examining the internet, with his(de qui s'agit-il, là ? de la souris ou de l'homme-souris ?) hand on his(idem) computer mouse. (nouvelle phrase, sinon c'est incompréhensible) Suggestion => THIS MOUSE is not as(comparaison = like) the others because [computer mouse] IT is a man who is small, as(comparaison = like) a computer mouse. this(majuscule !) picture is very funny because the dRaughtsman(orth.) [seek] TRIES to make us tought(utiliser l'infinitif du verbe et attention à l'orthographe) with the word " computer mouse". this(majuscule) drawning is amusing.
C'est loin d'être évident, même avec une longue pratique !
Pour l'amour du ciel, apprends à utiliser les majuscules à chaque premier mot de phrase, sinon c'est à la limite du supportable.
Revois ton texte et sois claire sur ta description : au bout de quatre lignes, on ne sait plus très bien si tu parles de la souris classique de l'ordinateur ou bien du dessin qui représente, si je t'ai bien comprise, un homme-souris ou une souris-homme...
Suggestion : mouse pour la souris classique et mouse-man pour l'homme souris.
Vois si ça peut marcher.
Good luck.
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Modifié par jean31 le 27-09-2006 22:39
Réponse: Description/correction de canadiankaty, postée le 27-09-2006 à 22:45:01 (S | E)
Hello... here is a Canadian's attempt (I speak English...)
This picture is a cartoon, where we see a mouse who is like an average sized-man, sitting at a computer. This mouse seems to be very interested in what she is looking at, and at the same time, ??????????? (couldn't help you because I didn't understand what you meant there). This mouse is probably checking out the internet, with his hand on his computer mouse, which is unlike most computer mouses, because it's a small man. This picture is very funny because the cartoonist is playing on the term " computer mouse". This drawing is amusing. (Your last sentence is redundant by the way.)
There you go! from Katy from Canada
Réponse: Description/correction de lizie, postée le 28-09-2006 à 13:19:05 (S | E)
merci beaucoup à tous de m'avoir répondu et aider je vous remercie!!!
INDISPENSABLES : 