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Résumé de Numbers/correction
Message de lionlys posté le 01-10-2006 à 19:44:11 (S | E | F | I)
Salut à tous
Je vous remercie d'avance pour la correction de mon résume
Le film est un épisode de la série "numb3rs" si quelqu'un connaît, cela peut peut-être l'aider
Voici mon résume,
The film begin by the murder of eleven students and one teacher in a high-school by two killers one of which Paul Elins who has killed by his accomplice. Next, the FBI takes in hand the matter run by Don Eppes. After to have identified each corpse and question the witnesses, the FBI learns that there were two killers so he puts to search for the second killer. Loud their investigation stamped, Don decide to call for his brothers, Charlie Eppes. The latter, goes put in equation the round curry out the killer. For that, he goes base on the students moving. Since this time there, Becky, the high-school's subeditor was written a article as what the leader of DMG gamer team whom Paul Elins in would be part them. Hence the FBI agents decide to go question him, but he denies all. During, the time, Charlie declares that there is a third killer because at the time of his simulation at the moment the students go a killer, that who is illogical. Next, he decides to calculate the time covered by the killers in real and by his program. The times found are different so that watch that there is a third killer. Moreover, the jurist proves that there is a third killer because he found tree types of different bullets. In same time, the FBI agents discover that Paul would be part of a cibercoffee and when they go Justin Price, the accomplice is killed because he attempts to defend. For that who is third killer, the FBI thinks that he's a matter of Greg. So, they decide to do a hideout in front of the Greg's house. One day, Greg goes out with a bag, the agents run him next and stop him, and in his bag, there was the third firearm.
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Modifié par bridg le 01-10-2006 20:00
titre
Message de lionlys posté le 01-10-2006 à 19:44:11 (S | E | F | I)
Salut à tous
Je vous remercie d'avance pour la correction de mon résume
Le film est un épisode de la série "numb3rs" si quelqu'un connaît, cela peut peut-être l'aider
Voici mon résume,
The film begin by the murder of eleven students and one teacher in a high-school by two killers one of which Paul Elins who has killed by his accomplice. Next, the FBI takes in hand the matter run by Don Eppes. After to have identified each corpse and question the witnesses, the FBI learns that there were two killers so he puts to search for the second killer. Loud their investigation stamped, Don decide to call for his brothers, Charlie Eppes. The latter, goes put in equation the round curry out the killer. For that, he goes base on the students moving. Since this time there, Becky, the high-school's subeditor was written a article as what the leader of DMG gamer team whom Paul Elins in would be part them. Hence the FBI agents decide to go question him, but he denies all. During, the time, Charlie declares that there is a third killer because at the time of his simulation at the moment the students go a killer, that who is illogical. Next, he decides to calculate the time covered by the killers in real and by his program. The times found are different so that watch that there is a third killer. Moreover, the jurist proves that there is a third killer because he found tree types of different bullets. In same time, the FBI agents discover that Paul would be part of a cibercoffee and when they go Justin Price, the accomplice is killed because he attempts to defend. For that who is third killer, the FBI thinks that he's a matter of Greg. So, they decide to do a hideout in front of the Greg's house. One day, Greg goes out with a bag, the agents run him next and stop him, and in his bag, there was the third firearm.
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Modifié par bridg le 01-10-2006 20:00
titre
Réponse: Résumé de Numbers/correction de etudiant, postée le 01-10-2006 à 21:37:59 (S | E)
The film(1) begin(2) by(3) the murder of eleven students and one teacher in a high-school by two killers one of which Paul Elins (4) who has killed(5) by his accomplice. Next, the FBI takes in hand the matter run by Don Eppes(6). After to have identified each corpse and question (7) the witnesses, the FBI learns that there were two killers so he puts to search(8) for the second killer. Loud their investigation stamped,(9) Don decide(10) to call for his brothers(11), Charlie Eppes. The latter, goes put in equation the round curry out the killer.(12) For that, he goes base on the students moving.(13)
1) Film = movie, ici on doit employer "show", "TV show", out "episode"
2) begins - 3ième personne singulière exige le "s"
3) with au lieu de by (begin + by + participe présent ou begin + with + nom)
4) virgules avec un "noun in apposition".... , one of which, Paul Elins, ....
5) "who has killed" --> "was killed" si Paul a ete tue, ou "killed"/"has killed" si Paul est celui qui a tué son complice.
6) "Next, the FBI takes up the matter,..." On peut dire "run by Don Eppes, mais alors meilleur: "up the matter under the direction of Don Eppes."
7) After identifying each corpse and questioning (after est suivi d'un participe présent, pas d'un infinitif en anglais)
8) "puts to search" n'est pas correcte.... peut-être "begins to search" ... aussi, qui est "he"... Don Eppes? Vous devez employer le nom ici au lieu du prénom.
9) "Loud their investigation stamped" - aucune idée de ce que vous voulez dire.
10) decides -3ième personne singulière exige le "s"
11) brother doit être singulier. Aussi, on peut dire "call for his brother", mais je préfère "decides to call in his brother"
12) "The latter, goes put in equation the round curry out the killer." Je ne comprends pas cette phrase
13) "For that, he goes base on the students moving." Je ne comprends pas cette phrase... peut-être, "This is based on the movement of the students." ou "This is based on when the students moved to the area." ?
(14)Since this time there, Becky, the high-school's subeditor was written a article as what the leader of DMG gamer team whom Paul Elins in would be part them. (15)Hence the FBI agents decide to go question him, but he denies all (16). During,(17) the time, Charlie declares that there is a third killer because (18) at the time of his simulation at the moment the students go a killer(19), that who is illogical. Next, he decides to calculate the time covered by the killers in real (20)and by his program. The times found are different so that watch that there is a third killer(21). Moreover, the jurist (22) proves that there is a third killer because he found tree types of different bullets (23).
14) "Since this time there, Becky, the high-school's subeditor was written a article as what the leader of DMG gamer team whom Paul Elins in would be part them." Je ne comprends cette phrase non plus... il faut mettre "an" avant du mot "article" parce qu'il commence par une voyelle.
15) Enlevez le mot "hence", ce n'est pas correcte ici, ce mot implique une déduction logique de l'auteur, pas seulement une consequence. On peut dire, "as a result" ou "so" (pas soutenu), mais rien n'est vraiment nécessaire
16) "denies all" --> "denies everything"
17) "During this time", pas de virgule, et remplacez le mot "the" avec "this"
18) "because during his simulation"
19) "he students go a killer, that who is illogical" je ne comprends pas ceci
20) "in real" --> "in real life"
21) "watch that there is a third killer" Je ne comprends pas ceci
22) jurist? voulez-vous dire avocat? Si oui, le mot qu'il faut employer et "lawyer". On peut dire aussi "DA" ou "District Attorney", c'est l'avocat qui travaille pour l'état qui essaie de montrer qu'un suspect est coupable. Le mot "jurist" est peu employé. Un exemple où on peut l'employer serait, "Chief Justice Rehnquist, a highly respected American jurist, died last year of thyroid cancer."
23) "because he found three different types of bullets" Le mot "different" modifie le mot "types", pas le mot "bullets"
In same time (24), the FBI agents discover that Paul would be part of a cibercoffee (25) and when they go(26) Justin Price, the accomplice is killed because he attempts to defend (27). For that who is third killer(28), the FBI thinks that he's a matter of Greg(29). So, they decide to do a hideout (30) in front of the Greg's house. One day, Greg goes out with a bag, the agents run him next and stop him (31), and in his bag, there was the third firearm.(32)
24) "At the same time" est l'expression
25) "discover that Paul is at a cybercafe"? (En fait, l'idée de "cybercafé" n'existe pas aux EEUU... mais "cafe" est un mot commun pour le restaurant. "coffee" est seulement le boisson.
26) virgule ici
27) defend himself. Le verbe "to defend" est transitif, il faut avoir un complément d'objet directe.
28) "For that who is third killer" --> "As for the identity of the third killer"
29) "a matter of Greg" aucune idée...
30) "to do a hideout" --> "To have a stakeout"
31) "the agents run him next and stop him" --> "the agents chase him and catch him"
32) "there was the third firearm" --> "they find the third firearm."
Réponse: Résumé de Numbers/correction de lionlys, postée le 02-10-2006 à 17:29:46 (S | E)
merci a toi etudiant pour cette correction.
voila le corriger et quelques explications de ce que je voulait dire.
es ce possible que tu regard ce qui n'aller pas et me dire ce que je doit modifi pour faire du vrai anglais
merci a toi et tout autres qui pourrais m'aider.
voici mon nouveau resume
The movie begins with the murder of eleven students and one teacher in a high-school by two killers one of which, Paul Elins, who has killed by his accomplice. Next, the FBI takes up the matter under the direction of Don Eppes. After identifying each corpse and questioning the witnesses, the FBI learns that there were two killers so the FBI agents begin to search for the second killer. Loud their investigation stamped, Don decides to call in his brother, Charlie Eppes. The latter, goes put in equation the round curry out the killers (14). This is based on the students moving (13). Since this time there, Becky, the high-school's subeditor was written an article as what the leader of DMG gamer team whom Paul Elins in would be part them (14). The FBI agents decide to go question him, but he denies everything. During this time, Charlie declares that there is a third killer because during his simulation at the moment the students go a killer, that who is illogical (19). Next, he decides to calculate the time covered by the killers in real life and by his program. The times found are different so that watch that there is a third killer (21). Moreover, the jurist (22) proves that there is a third killer because he found three different types of bullets. At the same time, the FBI agents discover that Paul is at a cybercafe and when they go, Justin Price, the accomplice is killed because he attempts to defend himself. As for the identity of the third killer, the FBI thinks that he's a matter of Greg (29). So, they decide to have a stakeout in front of the Greg's house. One day, Greg goes out with a bag; the agents chase him and catch him, and in his bag, there find the third firearm.
Ce que j’ai voulu dire
(12) : ce dernier va mettre en équation le parcours effectuer par les tueurs
(13) : pour cela il va se baser sur les mouvements des élevés
(14) : pendant ce temps la, Becky la rédactrice du lycée a écrit un article comme quoi le leader de ces actes était Greg car il était le leader de l’équipe de jeu DMG dont Paul Elins en fessait parti.
(19) : les élevés se diriger vers un tueur, ce qui est illogique
(21) : les temps trouvés sont différent donc cela montre qu’il y a un 3eme tueur
(22) : je voulais dire « un légiste » et d’après mon dictionnaire cela ce dit « a jurist » mais d’après Internet cela ce dit « a legist »
(29) :le FBI pense qu’il s’agit de Greg
Réponse: aide pour une correction d'un resume de lionlys, postée le 03-10-2006 à 18:27:29 (S | E)
Salut à tous
Voici mon resumé, les passages avec "(..)" représante les passages que je n'ai pas su trop traduire donc j'ai mis en bas de page quelque explication qui explique en francais de ce que j'ai voulu dire.
Merci a tout personne qui me donnerais un coup de main.
The movie begins with the murder of eleven students and one teacher in a high-school by two killers one of which, Paul Elins, who has killed by his accomplice. Next, the FBI takes up the matter under the direction of Don Eppes. After identifying each corpse and questioning the witnesses, the FBI learns that there were two killers so the FBI agents begin to search for the second killer. Loud their investigation stamped, Don decides to call in his brother, Charlie Eppes. The latter, goes put in equation the round curry out the killers (1). This is based on the students moving (2). Since this time there, Becky, the high-school's subeditor was written an article as what the leader of DMG gamer team whom Paul Elins in would be part them (3). The FBI agents decide to go question him, but he denies everything. During this time, Charlie declares that there is a third killer because during his simulation at the moment the students go a killer, that who is illogical (4). Next, he decides to calculate the time covered by the killers in real life and by his program. The times found are different so that watch that there is a third killer (5). Moreover, the jurist (6) proves that there is a third killer because he found three different types of bullets. At the same time, the FBI agents discover that Paul is at a cybercafe and when they go, Justin Price, the accomplice is killed because he attempts to defend himself. As for the identity of the third killer, the FBI thinks that he's a matter of Greg (7). So, they decide to have a stakeout in front of the Greg's house. One day, Greg goes out with a bag; the agents chase him and catch him, and in his bag, there find the third firearm.
Ce que j’ai voulu dire
(1) : ce dernier va mettre en équation le parcours effectuer par les tueurs
(2) : pour cela il va se baser sur les mouvements des élevés
(3) : pendant ce temps la, Becky la rédactrice du lycée a écrit un article comme quoi le leader de ces actes était Greg car il était le leader de l’équipe de jeu DMG dont Paul Elins en fessait parti.
(4) : les élevés se diriger vers un tueur, ce qui est illogique
(5) : les temps trouvés sont différent donc cela montre qu’il y a un 3eme tueur
(6) : je voulais dire « un légiste » et d’après mon dictionnaire cela ce dit « a jurist » mais d’après Internet cela ce dit « a legist »
(7) :le FBI pense qu’il s’agit de Greg
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Modifié par bridg le 03-10-2006 18:31
Merci de ne pas poster partout.
Réponse: Résumé de Numbers/correction de etudiant, postée le 03-10-2006 à 19:47:02 (S | E)
Est-ce que vous pouvez donner une traduction de tout le paragraphe en français pour que je puisse mieux comprendre?
Il y a toujours des phrases où je me perds complètement.
Par exemple:
"Loud their investigation stamped"
"goes put in equation the round curry out the killers"
etc.
Avec ces phrases, je jette l'eponge. Je n'ai aucune idée de ce que vous voulez dire.
Réponse: Résumé de Numbers/correction de lionlys, postée le 03-10-2006 à 19:55:00 (S | E)
lorsque j'ai ecrit "Loud their investigation stamped" je voulais dire "voyant leur enquete pietiné"
et le reste en revanche je les ai traduit c'est ce qui se trouve entre (..) voir en bas du texte
merci encore
Réponse: Résumé de Numbers/correction de etudiant, postée le 03-10-2006 à 20:26:25 (S | E)
The movie begins with the murder of eleven students and one teacher in a high-school by two killers one of which, Paul Elins, who has killed by his accomplice.
The movie begins with the murder of eleven students and one teacher in a high school by two killers, one of which, Paul Elins, was killed by his accomplice.
Next, the FBI takes up the matter under the direction of Don Eppes.
ok
After identifying each corpse and questioning the witnesses, the FBI learns that there were two killers so the FBI agents begin to search for the second killer.
ok
Loud their investigation stamped, Don decides to call in his brother, Charlie Eppes.
(Ok, I think I might know what you mean here...) Realizing that their investigation was stuck, Don decides to call in his brother, Charlie Eppes.
The latter, goes put in equation the round curry out the killers (1).
(Literal) The latter puts the route taken by the killers into an equation.
(Maybe better) The latter uses mathematics to analyze the route taken by the killers.
This is based on the students moving (2).
This is based on the movements of the students.
Since this time there, Becky, the high-school's subeditor was written an article as what the leader of DMG gamer team whom Paul Elins in would be part them (3).
By this time, Becky, the high school editor (the editor of the school newspaper?), had written an article suggesting that Greg was responsible for these acts since he was the leader of the gamer team (not sure what a gamer team is?) of which Paul Elins had admitted being a member.
The FBI agents decide to go question him, but he denies everything.
ok
During this time, Charlie declares that there is a third killer because during his simulation at the moment the students go a killer, that who is illogical (4).
During this time, Charlie declares that there is a third killer because during his simulation, the students move towards the killer, which is not logical.
Next, he decides to calculate the time covered by the killers in real life and by his program.
ok
The times found are different so that watch that there is a third killer (5).
The times found do not match, showing that there must be a third killer.
Moreover, the jurist (6) proves that there is a third killer because he found three different types of bullets.
Moreover, the (medical examiner OR forensic scientist) proves that there is a third killer when he finds three different types of bullets.
At the same time, the FBI agents discover that Paul is at a cybercafe and when they go, Justin Price, the accomplice is killed because he attempts to defend himself.
ok
As for the identity of the third killer, the FBI thinks that he's a matter of Greg (7).
As for the identity of the third killer, the FBI suspects Greg.
So, they decide to have a stakeout in front of the Greg's house.
ok
One day, Greg goes out with a bag; the agents chase him and catch him, and in his bag, there find the third firearm.
One day, Greg leaves the house with a bag; the agents chase him and catch him, and in his bag, they find the third firearm.
Réponse: Résumé de Numbers/correction de etudiant, postée le 03-10-2006 à 20:39:51 (S | E)
J'ai essayé de ne pas changer trop ce que vous avez écrit. Cependant, je croyais que peut-etre serait-il intéressant voir comment un anglophone aurait écrit ce resumé. Donc, ce qui suit est dans un style plus anglais.
The movie begins with a high school murder in which 11 students and 1 teacher are killed. One of the two killers, Paul Elins, is found dead, killed by his accomplice. The case is investigated by the FBI under th direction of Don Eppes. After identifying the corpses and questioning the witnesses, the FBI arrives at the conclusion that there were two killers, and so the FBI begins the hunt for the second killer. Realizing that the investigation has stalled, Don decides to enlist the aid of his brother Charlie. Charlie uses advanced mathematical techniques based on the movement of the students to analyze the route taken by the killers. Meanwhile, Becky, the editor of the high school newspaper, publishes an article alleging that Greg is responsible for the crimes as he is the leader of the gaming club in which Paul Elins had acknowledged membership. When the FBI questions Paul, he denies any knowledge of the crime. After further analysis of the simulation, Charlie becomes convinced that there is a third killer, as the students seem to move towards the killer, which would not make sense. He decides to compare the time spent by the killers with that predicted by his simulation. The times do not match, leading Charlie to conclude that there must be a third killer. Furthermore, the medical examiner proves definitively that there must be a third killer when he analyzes the bullets and finds that there are three different types. Meanwhile, the FBI agents learn that Paul is at a cybercafe. When they attempt to speak with him, Justin Price, his accomplice, is killed while trying to defend himself. The police suspect that Greg is likely the third killer, and so they set up a stakeout in front of his house. They observe Greg leaving the house with a bag. The agents chase Greg and catch him, and in his bag they find the third firearm.
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Modifié par etudiant le 03-10-2006 20:40
Réponse: Résumé de Numbers/correction de lionlys, postée le 03-10-2006 à 20:50:33 (S | E)
je te remercie pour cette correction et pour la patience que tu as eu pour le faire
INDISPENSABLES : 