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Dm pour lundi :corriger SOS
Message de devadai posté le 11-11-2006 à 16:19:10 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour
Pouvez vous me dire si c'est juste et de le corriger en cas d'erreur s'il vous plaît.
Voici le travail que je doit faire :
imagine David's life in his new school far from his family. Write 80 words about it . Mention the positive and the negative sides.
Travail fait:
David's life in his new school far from his family can make of him a brillant student because he will have a better education and got good marks. He will study more than other people of his town. Thank to his high level studies, his family will be proud of him.
Howener he have to confront also this new situation. He have to change his habits, to be alone without his family. He have to work hard if he wouldn't spoil this occcasion. He will miss his family lot .
Merci
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Modifié par bridg le 11-11-2006 16:22
titre
Message de devadai posté le 11-11-2006 à 16:19:10 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour
Pouvez vous me dire si c'est juste et de le corriger en cas d'erreur s'il vous plaît.
Voici le travail que je doit faire :
imagine David's life in his new school far from his family. Write 80 words about it . Mention the positive and the negative sides.
Travail fait:
David's life in his new school far from his family can make of him a brillant student because he will have a better education and got good marks. He will study more than other people of his town. Thank to his high level studies, his family will be proud of him.
Howener he have to confront also this new situation. He have to change his habits, to be alone without his family. He have to work hard if he wouldn't spoil this occcasion. He will miss his family lot .
Merci
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Modifié par bridg le 11-11-2006 16:22
titre
Réponse: Dm pour lundi :corriger SOS de jean31, postée le 11-11-2006 à 19:00:43 (S | E)
Bonsoir, devadai
Pas mal d'erreurs que je te signale en couleur.
=> "David's life in his new school far from his family" est un groupe sujet un peu long qui reprend mot à mot l'énoncé du devoir. C'est un peu maladroit.
Essaye de le résumer en employant un gérondif comme sujet. Par exemple : Living by himself ...
=> ... en faire un étudiant brillant = make him//turn him into// a brilliant student...
=> and got good marks. <= attention ! C'est comme si tu avais répété will + g?t...
=> Thanks to = Grâce à ...
=> However <= faute de frappe.
=> ... he have to ... (2 fois de suite)<= Rien ne te choque ? Moi si !
=> He have to work hard if he wouldn't spoil this occasion. <= Mauvaise concordance des temps des verbes. Je suggère le futur dans la principale et le présent négatif dans la subordonnée où il vaut mieux employer want to spoil this chance.
=> ... lot seul est incorrect. Rectifie.
INDISPENSABLES : 