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Une enquête à corriger
Message de italienne777 posté le 12-11-2006 à 13:44:52 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour,je vous explique mon sujet, je dois faire un dialogue entre un inspecteur qui mène une enquête sur la disparition d'alicia. Alicia est mariée avec Sydney et l'Inspecteur a inspecté toute la maison ainsi que sydney. Il lui reste à interroger la voisine qui s'appelle Mrs Lilybank. L'indice de l'enquête est un tapis. Une aide de correction m'aidera merci d'avance
The scene takes place one month after Alicia's disappearance. Inspector Brockway, a man who carried out an investigation about this diseappearance, is visting Mrs Lilybank.She is next to Sydney, the Alicia's husband.
"Hello, Mrs! Can I speak with Mrs Lilybank, please?" Inspector said.
"It's me, but what do you want from me?"Mrs Lilybank wondered, suspicious.
"I just would like to have information about Alicia's disappearance" he repied loudly.
"Well, but who are you for want to know the reason why alicia went missing?" she asked him
"Sorry, I have forget introduce myself, I'm an Inspector.
She strated to get panicky because she no speaks more and she turnsher's eyes away.
"Have you seen or heard something unusual one month ago?"Inspector required.
"I have nothing to hear" she denied hesitantly.
Inspector felt that Mrs Lilybank doesn't tell the truth.
"Tell me Mrs Lilybank what relation do you have with Sydney?" Insector asked
Mrs Lilybak realizes this man known a heap of things concerning me, she felt bound to tell the truth
" I now Syney by reputation, it's all but concerning the night of the disappaearance, I may have seen Sydney leave whith alicia rolled with the carpet"
"Do you be certain of it?"
" Pratically, believe it or not.."
Merci d'avance pour votre aide.
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Modifié par bridg le 12-11-2006 13:57
Titre
Message de italienne777 posté le 12-11-2006 à 13:44:52 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour,je vous explique mon sujet, je dois faire un dialogue entre un inspecteur qui mène une enquête sur la disparition d'alicia. Alicia est mariée avec Sydney et l'Inspecteur a inspecté toute la maison ainsi que sydney. Il lui reste à interroger la voisine qui s'appelle Mrs Lilybank. L'indice de l'enquête est un tapis. Une aide de correction m'aidera merci d'avance
The scene takes place one month after Alicia's disappearance. Inspector Brockway, a man who carried out an investigation about this diseappearance, is visting Mrs Lilybank.She is next to Sydney, the Alicia's husband.
"Hello, Mrs! Can I speak with Mrs Lilybank, please?" Inspector said.
"It's me, but what do you want from me?"Mrs Lilybank wondered, suspicious.
"I just would like to have information about Alicia's disappearance" he repied loudly.
"Well, but who are you for want to know the reason why alicia went missing?" she asked him
"Sorry, I have forget introduce myself, I'm an Inspector.
She strated to get panicky because she no speaks more and she turnsher's eyes away.
"Have you seen or heard something unusual one month ago?"Inspector required.
"I have nothing to hear" she denied hesitantly.
Inspector felt that Mrs Lilybank doesn't tell the truth.
"Tell me Mrs Lilybank what relation do you have with Sydney?" Insector asked
Mrs Lilybak realizes this man known a heap of things concerning me, she felt bound to tell the truth
" I now Syney by reputation, it's all but concerning the night of the disappaearance, I may have seen Sydney leave whith alicia rolled with the carpet"
"Do you be certain of it?"
" Pratically, believe it or not.."
Merci d'avance pour votre aide.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 12-11-2006 13:57
Titre
Réponse: Une enquête à corriger de nick27, postée le 12-11-2006 à 15:12:09 (S | E)
Hello,
Voici quelques conseils :
1/ Inspector Brockway, a man who carried out an investigation about this diseappearance
=> Faire une enquêter sur quelque chose = To investigate something
2/ "the Alicia's husband" => "
3/ "Can I speak with Mrs Lilybank" => To speak to someone
=> Can I speak to Mrs. Lilybank? serait donc mieux.
4/ "Inspector said" => Il manque quelque chose.
5/ "but what do you want from me?" => Revoie la construction.
What do you want me to tell you ...
6/ "Mrs Lilybank wondered" => To wonder c'est se dire quelque chose à soi-même. Or, ici je pense que la femme le demande à voix haute. donc ...
7/ "to have information" => "To get information"
8/ "he repied" => Erreur d'orthographe
9/ "Well, but who are you for want to know the reason why alicia went missing?"
=> Well but ne se dit pas. Soit tu laisses "well", soit tu laisses "But"
=> "for want" est incorrect.
=> to go missing s'utilise plutôt pour des object. Ici c'est une personne donc on emploie "To be missing".
10/ "I have forget (!!!) TO introduce myself" => Attention! Le participe passé de "To forget" n'est pas "forget"
11/ "She strated to get panicky because she no speaks more and she turnsher's eyes away"
=> J'ai du mal à comprendre ta phrase. Tu veux dire qu'elle a commencé à paniquer parce qu'elle ne parlait plus et donc elle a tourné sa tête?
=> Paniquer = To panic
=> Revoie la négation "ne...plus"
=> Revoie tes temps, c'est dans le passé et tu as utilisé le présent.
12/ "Have you seen or heard something unusual one month ago?"Inspector required."
=> Faute de temps ! Tu as "one month ago" donc tu dois penser à utiliser le prétérit!
=> Required = asked
13/ "I have nothing to hear" she denied hesitantly."
=> Je n'ai rien entendu ne se traduit pas comme cela.
I didn't hear anything ou I heard nothing au choix. Attention aux temps.
=> Denied = said
14/ "Inspector felt that Mrs Lilybank doesn't tell the truth."
=> Inspector : Il manque quelque chose devant.
=> Mauvaise concordance des temps. Tu devrais utiliser le passé à la forme progressive pour "doesn't tell ..."
15/ "Tell me Mrs Lilybank what relation do you have with Sydney?" Insector asked"
=> What KIND OF relation...
=> THE inspector
16/ "Mrs Lilybak realizes this man known a heap of things concerning me, she felt bound to tell the truth"
=> Realizes : mauvais temps (c'est dans le passé)
=> known : mauvais temps (prétérit)
=> A heap of things concerning me => A lot/plenty of things about me (Il ne faut pas chercher à faire des phrases trop compliquée
)=> she felt = she was
17/ "I now Syney by reputation, it's all but concerning the night of the disappaearance, I may have seen Sydney leave whith alicia rolled with the carpet"
=> now signifie quelque chose d'autre. Le verbe "connaître" est ....
=> by reputation = thanks to her reputation (si c'est positif)
=> "it's all but" => That's all devrait être avant la virgule!
=> Disappaearance ! => disappearance.
=> whith = with
=> rolled with the carpet = Enroulée dans une carpette? => wrapped up in a carpet.
18/ ""Do you be certain of it?"
" Pratically, believe it or not.."
=> Être certain de quelque chose = To be sure/certain about something (Do you be ! À éviter!)
=> pratically = almost = I'm quite sure, yes.
=> trust me or not = believe it or not
I'm looking forward to reading your corrections
Bye bye
Réponse: Une enquête à corriger de italienne777, postée le 12-11-2006 à 16:12:07 (S | E)
The scene takes place one month after Alicia's disappearance. Inspector Brockway, a man who carried out an investigation about this diseappearance, is visting Mrs Lilybank.She is next to Sydney, Alicia's husband.
"Hello, Mrs! Can I speak to Mrs Lilybank, please?" Inspector said.
"It's me, but what do you want to tell you?"Mrs Lilybank wondered, suspicious.
"I just would like to get information about Alicia's disappearance" he replied loudly.
"Well, who are you to want to know the reason why alicia was missing?" she asked him
"Sorry, I have forgot introduce myself, I'm an Inspector.
She strated to get panicked because she no spoke more and she turnsher's eyes away.
"Did you see or heard something unusual one month ago?"Inspector required.
"I have nothing to hear" she denied hesitantly.
The Inspector felt that Mrs Lilybank hasn't telling the truth.
"Tell me Mrs Lilybank what kind of relation do you have with Sydney?" The Inspector asked
Mrs Lilybak realized this man knew a lot of things about me, she was bound to tell the truth
" I now Syney by reputation, it's about the night of the disappaearance, I may have seen Sydney leave whith alicia wrapped up in the carpet "
"Do you be certain of it?"
" I'm quite sure, yes, believe it or not.."
Il y a certaine chose que je n'ai pa encore comprise dans votre correction...
J voudrai savoir si mon histoire est compréhensible si elle tient la route ainsi que mes phrases merci pour cette créponse et correction.
Réponse: Une enquête à corriger de nick27, postée le 12-11-2006 à 16:20:03 (S | E)
Ton histoire ne sera compréhensible que lorsque toutes les fautes auront été corrigées et il en reste pas mal encore.
Par exemple, je t'ai dit que "do you be" n'existait pas. Pourquoi ne l'as-tu pas changé dans ta correction ?
=> She started to panic
Relis ton texte et mes corrections. Tu es encore capable d'en corriger pas mal.
See you.
Réponse: Urgent svp de italienne777, postée le 14-11-2006 à 20:42:09 (S | E)
Bonjour,je vous explique mon sujet, je dois faire un dialogue entre un inspecteur qui mène une enquête sur la disparition d'alicia. Alicia est mariée avec Sydney et l'Inspecteur a inspecté toute la maison ainsi que sydney. Il lui reste à interroger la voisine qui s'appelle Mrs Lilybank. L'indice de l'enquête est un tapis. Une aide de correction m'aidera merci d'avance
The scene takes place one month after Alicia's disappearance. Inspector Brockway, a man who carried out an investigation about this diseappearance, is visting Mrs Lilybank.She is next to Sydney, Alicia's husband.
"Heloo, Mrs! Can I speak to Mrs L, please?" Inspector asked showing him his ( sa carte de police)
"It's me, may I help you? Lilybank answered, politely.
"I just would like to get information about Alicia's disappearance" he replied
She strated to panic and she turns her's eyes away because she believes.
"You must have the wrong person because I never was not on good terms with Alicia. I never couldn't have done a thing as ghaslty. I hope...
The Inspector breaks in on the conversation.
"I'm very sorry to have interrupted but you've misunderstood. I don't admit, anything but! I want to know, what kind of relation do you have with Sydney?" Inspector asked after explained to Lilybank quietly the reason for be here.
"Ah!" she said relieved
"So? " he reminded Lilibank, impatiently
"I don't know if that might him you, it's about the night of the disappearance, I may have seen Sydney lleave with Alicia wrapped up in the carpet"
"Do you sure about something?" Insepector asked suprised.
" I'm quite sure, yes. Nevertheless I'm convinced that Sydney doesn't kill his wife, he was party to a crime."Lilybank said
"Thank you for answering me"
Juste me corriger les fautes svp
Réponse: Une enquête à corriger de bridg, postée le 14-11-2006 à 20:51:09 (S | E)
Combien de fois allez-vous poster votre demande??? Merci de rester sur le même forum.
Réponse: Une enquête à corriger de bipbip, postée le 14-11-2006 à 21:34:07 (S | E)
Bonjour
Bien que je ne te connaisse pas, yu m'as envoyé un message privé pour me demander de te corriger ton exercice, car tu dis que personne n'y a répondu sur le forum! Je trouve que les éléments de réponses qui te sont suggérés sont excellents, et je te recommande de les suivre; et de suivre aussi le conseil de Bridg....
Bye bye
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