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Panic from TV / correction
Message de momo53 posté le 26-11-2006 à 13:06:56 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour tous le monde,
Voilà, je dois rédiger un texte sur le sujet suivant : "Do you think that a radio or TV programme could cause such collective panic today? Why or why not? "
Voici mon texte, ce serait gentil de votre part si vous pouviez me corriger. Merci
In October 1938, Orson Welles performed an adaptation of a H. G. Wells' novel, War of the Worlds. He performed it to sound like a real broadcast. Despite an introduction which emphasized that the it was based on a novel about an attack by Martians, many listeners didn't hear it but believed that Martians invaded the Earth. This radio programme provoked a collective panic but today, it must be different.
In the late 1930s, the only way for people to get informed was the radio. They listened the radio for others entertainment programmes like music, reports or plays.For rural audiences, it was the only way to keep the contact with the outside world. Indeed, there were no technologies like television, mobile, Internet to inform people in live.
Nowadays, that's completely different.We have a lot of ways to be alerted. The radio still has an impact but not as important as in the past. We have new mediums : television which has a huge impact, papers which are more numerous and Internet since some years. All those mediums afford to inform the world in live. People trust the information because there are pictures, videos, which are like evidences to confirm a breaking news for example.
To my mind, I don't think that a radio or TV programme could cause such collective panic. If something terrible happens, all the mediums would report it.They can not cheat about a dramatic event.
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Modifié par bridg le 26-11-2006 13:10
titre
Message de momo53 posté le 26-11-2006 à 13:06:56 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour tous le monde,
Voilà, je dois rédiger un texte sur le sujet suivant : "Do you think that a radio or TV programme could cause such collective panic today? Why or why not? "
Voici mon texte, ce serait gentil de votre part si vous pouviez me corriger. Merci
In October 1938, Orson Welles performed an adaptation of a H. G. Wells' novel, War of the Worlds. He performed it to sound like a real broadcast. Despite an introduction which emphasized that the it was based on a novel about an attack by Martians, many listeners didn't hear it but believed that Martians invaded the Earth. This radio programme provoked a collective panic but today, it must be different.
In the late 1930s, the only way for people to get informed was the radio. They listened the radio for others entertainment programmes like music, reports or plays.For rural audiences, it was the only way to keep the contact with the outside world. Indeed, there were no technologies like television, mobile, Internet to inform people in live.
Nowadays, that's completely different.We have a lot of ways to be alerted. The radio still has an impact but not as important as in the past. We have new mediums : television which has a huge impact, papers which are more numerous and Internet since some years. All those mediums afford to inform the world in live. People trust the information because there are pictures, videos, which are like evidences to confirm a breaking news for example.
To my mind, I don't think that a radio or TV programme could cause such collective panic. If something terrible happens, all the mediums would report it.They can not cheat about a dramatic event.
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Modifié par bridg le 26-11-2006 13:10
titre
Réponse: Panic from TV / correction de gizmo2937, postée le 26-11-2006 à 14:06:03 (S | E)
Ca m'a l'air plutôt bien.
Je vois juste une ou deux choses à revoir :
Despite an introduction which emphasized that the it was based
Le the est en trop.
They listened the radio for others entertainment programmes like music, reports or plays.
Je rajouterai un also dans cette phrase pour amplifier l'idée que la radio était multi-usage.
there were no technologies
There est un adverbe, tu ne peux donc pas l'utiliser comme sujet.
Voilà ce que j'ai pû trouver.
Bon courage.
Réponse: Panic from TV / correction de jean31, postée le 26-11-2006 à 14:59:59 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Quelques remarques supplémentaires.
=> They listened TO the radio ...
=> ... other(0) entertainment programmes... <= other est adjectif ici.
=> ... (in) live. <= est calqué sur le français. La préposition est de trop.
=> ...new media : <= pluriel latin de medium.
=> ... since some years <= est grammaticalement doublement erroné. => For devant une durée de temps et un present perfect indispensable. Je propose : ... and the Internet which has been used for some years now.
=> All those media CAN/MANAGE TO/inform the world live. <= afford me paraît inadapté au contexte.
=> ... cannot <= s'écrit en un seul mot.
That's about all. Good luck.
INDISPENSABLES : 