Message de blackserious posté le 2004-08-27 10:13:56 (S | E | F | I)
bonjour voila jai 3 textes (je dois faire un au passé, une biographie, et un texte au futur) et j'aimerai que on me les corrige au plus vite, car j'ai un examen de passage (lundi 30), c'est pour voir si je suis au point concernant les texte voila merci d'avance ( jai 16 ans,, 4eme année secondaire).

Passé:Last summer


On 4 and 5 July, I went to the party in my village, it was very fun ! And I was drinking a soda when my best friend call me, It was Benjamin. But I have just danced on the music techno. On 25 July, I was going to Luxembourg with my parents, and we were buying lot of things. I have bought a video game, it was Final Fantasy. Every week, I was going to cinema. I have seen Spiderman, Matrix, Butterfly Effect … But at one moment, I had some to make the same thing all the time enough. Then one day, on 7 August, I decided to make a day for gone in an amusement park with my friends. We decided to went to Six Flags Belgium. It was very exciting in the attractions ! On 23 august, there was my birthday, and every family went at home for a dinner. I received cd, video game, … And on 3 September, I was happy and unhappy to returned at the school.

Biographie:Alexandre the large one

He was born in Pella on 356 BC, 336 to 323; he was large soldier heads of the history. He created the bigger empire and he developed the Greece knowledge in the known world. He was the soon of Philippe II, and he received a strong formation military and politics since he was very young. When his father died, he took the power, at the moment he had 20 years old. He reunifies the Greeks for fight to common enemy, the perses. He controlled a few 30000 infantrymen and 5000 riders; He had across the Hellespont, and annexed the perse empire to his empire. He won the battle in 334 BC against Darius III. After He penetrated in Egypt or it founded Alexandria. It dispersed the army of Darios in Mesopotamia. He was the master of the perse empire; it moved towards India and made a combat against Poros. Then it married Roxane, which was the girl of Darius III and into 323 BC, where as it still hoped to do many conquests it dies.

Futur(proche):Next Week-end

Friday evening I’m going to go to one evening organized in my village. I’m going to be with my friends and one going to go dancer and to discuss with girls. Then one going to return worm 2-3h of the morning. The following day, I’m going to go has my match of Rugby and one will gain like always! But after midday I’m going to work for the school because I’m going to have tests for the following week. The evening I’m going to make my match of table tennis where my team is going to win! Sunday morning, I’m going to make the grace morning, and towards 10h30 I’m going to wake up myself for have my breakfast which going to be to compose of crescent, and of the bread, and a good coffee! After midday will be calm and I wouldn’t make large thing! The evening I’m going to look at a good dvd on my ps2!

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Edité par bridg le 28-08-2004 08:14
Fais attention à la façon dont tu demandes l'aide dont tu as besoin, tu es très "impératif" et "pressant" donnant l'impresSion que l'urgence de la situation vient du fait que tu as passé de bonnes vacances et que tu te réveilles au dernier moment en nous "refilant le bébé dans les bras" même si ça n'est pas vrai. Avec cette technique tu ne donnes pas aux correspondants l'envie de t'aider. Le titre formulé ainsi est déja un obstacle pour déclencher les bonnes volonté.

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Edité par bridg le 28-08-2004 10:18