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Message de lyndad posté le 06-03-2005 à 14:10:10 (S | E | F | I)
Queendiapanyr a tous!
j'aimerais un peu d'aide, pouvez vous me dire si cet extrait et juste
merci beaucoup!!
"..THE BRITISH INFLUENT IN INDIA
The British empire change several things in India in several field
First of all I would start with the positive aspects of British colonial empire:
During this period English influenced the Indians.They improve the system of trade
First off all, they developed the trade in India,creating “East India Company’s”. They exploited raws materials of india to use them in the mother landEnglandnd) . They had the commercial monopole.
But at the same time they destroyethehIndiaia system of trade it means little structurs of traddisappeareded.Moreover the raws materials are aldestineded to thBritishsh trade, exclusivity...
It means that they stole richnesses of India. India’s people had not profit or benefit, they are exploited.
They brought with them their knowledge and in particular in the technological field
we can quote the introduction of the railroad
indeed in1845 that English decided to create the railroad in India in order to convey the raw materials such as cotton. India produced a large quantity of raw of cotton which was transported by road to ports for export.So, they wanted to be faster and created the East India Railway Company and in 1853 the first train in India was born it was called “The fairy Queen”
Still now we can visit or travel India from one end to another thanks to the developed railway network
-------------------
Edité par grabuge le 06-03-2005 14:10
Message de lyndad posté le 06-03-2005 à 14:10:10 (S | E | F | I)
Queendiapanyr a tous!
j'aimerais un peu d'aide, pouvez vous me dire si cet extrait et juste
merci beaucoup!!
"..THE BRITISH INFLUENT IN INDIA
The British empire change several things in India in several field
First of all I would start with the positive aspects of British colonial empire:
During this period English influenced the Indians.They improve the system of trade
First off all, they developed the trade in India,creating “East India Company’s”. They exploited raws materials of india to use them in the mother landEnglandnd) . They had the commercial monopole.
But at the same time they destroyethehIndiaia system of trade it means little structurs of traddisappeareded.Moreover the raws materials are aldestineded to thBritishsh trade, exclusivity...
It means that they stole richnesses of India. India’s people had not profit or benefit, they are exploited.
They brought with them their knowledge and in particular in the technological field
we can quote the introduction of the railroad
indeed in1845 that English decided to create the railroad in India in order to convey the raw materials such as cotton. India produced a large quantity of raw of cotton which was transported by road to ports for export.So, they wanted to be faster and created the East India Railway Company and in 1853 the first train in India was born it was called “The fairy Queen”
Still now we can visit or travel India from one end to another thanks to the developed railway network
-------------------
Edité par grabuge le 06-03-2005 14:10
Réponse: aide correction d\'un essai de jardin62, postée le 06-03-2005 à 15:27:36 (S | E)
Oui, mais il faudrait soigner la frappe: j'ai failli tout lâcher! 
-first of all
-Indian raw material
-In England
-the traditional structures disappeared
-raw (pas de pluriel aux adjectifs)
-all destined to the British trade exclusively
-the people of India
-were exploited
-their knowledge with them
-in 1845, ONLY, the English...
- raw et (non the raw) material
-to be exported
-was born in India and was called...
-Il y a un "and" à supprimer qui donne une mauvaise construction à une phrase
-raw cotton
Bonne continuation!Réponse: aide correction d\'un essai de ruofei, postée le 06-03-2005 à 16:47:15 (S | E)
Bonjour lyndad, en effet les fautes de frappe rendent le texte très difficile à lire. Je vous apporte d'autres suggestions...
THE BRITISH INFLUENT IN INDIA....
(the British impact on India...)The British empire changed several things in India in several fields ('things' dans une dissertation ne fait jamais très bonne figure. Phrase qui manque de concision)
First of all I would (will) start with the positive aspects of the British colonial empire:
During this period (quelle période?) English people influenced the Indians.They improved the system of trade
First of
But at the same time they destroyed India system of trade it means little structures of trade disappeared
.Moreover the rawIt means that they stole [
richnessThey (qui?) brought with them their knowledge and in particular in the technological field.
we can quote the introduction of the railroad
indeed in1845
En italique: les maladresses
En vert: corrections orthographes.
En noir: les ajouts ou questions.
Faites attention aux temps puis à l'enchaînement et à l'utilité de votre argumentation pas toujours évident à saisir....
INDISPENSABLES : 