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John's dilema
Message de kikrammstein posté le 30-03-2005 à 17:32:18 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour, j'ai un dialogue à faire et j'ai fait une petite ébauche est-ce vous pourriez me corriger au niveau de mon expression merci d'avance
sachant que les expressions françaises entre parenthèses je ne les ai pas trouvées
hello John!
hi,what's your problem?
I have a dilemma , it's a serious moment
Come on, a friend in need is a friend indeed
Friday, I must go to the war!
Oh my god! it's great!You,with a military uniform.You will seduce all womens...
What! you is an idiot
I wish you would go to Vietnam
Going to Vietnam isn't a good idea!
You are killing me!
No
And you,what you want?
I don't know,I think I won't going to this war!
Yes you have right! It's a stupid idea!
Why don't you go to Vietnam
I can't kill humans and I don't want to die!It's a exellent reason NO!
But you works in a slaughterhouse! you is a slayer no!
no!
You should go to the war.you is a patriot for no!
maybie , I don't know Ithink that I don't really want to go!
If I where you I'd go to this war for my homeland
It is out of the question
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!
I'd rather you had gone I'm so disappointed
Your thinking are inconsistent you are sensible and(quoi qu'il arrive)I support you
Me too but...
I think you have make the better choise
I leave tomorrow to Canada!
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Edité par grabuge le 30-03-2005 17:34
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Edité par bridg le 30-03-2005 17:59
titre
Message de kikrammstein posté le 30-03-2005 à 17:32:18 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour, j'ai un dialogue à faire et j'ai fait une petite ébauche est-ce vous pourriez me corriger au niveau de mon expression merci d'avance
sachant que les expressions françaises entre parenthèses je ne les ai pas trouvées
hello John!
hi,what's your problem?
I have a dilemma , it's a serious moment
Come on, a friend in need is a friend indeed
Friday, I must go to the war!
Oh my god! it's great!You,with a military uniform.You will seduce all womens...
What! you is an idiot
I wish you would go to Vietnam
Going to Vietnam isn't a good idea!
You are killing me!
No
And you,what you want?
I don't know,I think I won't going to this war!
Yes you have right! It's a stupid idea!
Why don't you go to Vietnam
I can't kill humans and I don't want to die!It's a exellent reason NO!
But you works in a slaughterhouse! you is a slayer no!
no!
You should go to the war.you is a patriot for no!
maybie , I don't know Ithink that I don't really want to go!
If I where you I'd go to this war for my homeland
It is out of the question
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!
I'd rather you had gone I'm so disappointed
Your thinking are inconsistent you are sensible and(quoi qu'il arrive)I support you
Me too but...
I think you have make the better choise
I leave tomorrow to Canada!
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Edité par grabuge le 30-03-2005 17:34
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Edité par bridg le 30-03-2005 17:59
titre
Réponse: Aide sur un dialoque svp de jardin62, postée le 30-03-2005 à 18:11:08 (S | E)
Une partie, à cause du temps qui me manque. 
- Hello, John!
- Hi, What's your problem?
- I have a serious dilemma.
- Come on...
- I must join the Army next Friday.
- Oh, my god,...... women
- You, idiot!
- I wish you go to...
- ....isn't my favourite!
- ...
-...
- What about you, what would you like best?
- ....I think I wouldn't like to go, that's all!
- You are right.
-....?
- ......reason, isn't it?
- But you work.... you are...., aren't you?
- ...
- ....you are...( for no = que voulez-vous dire?)
- Maybe+ la ponctuation : les points.
- If I were ...my country.
- ...
-...
- I'd rather you go, or I would be disappointed.
- your opinions are...
- ......and whatever happens, I will support you.
- So will I but...
- I think you have made the best choice.
- ... for Canada
==> Les pointillés signifient que la phrase pouvait rester comme elle était/ Du point de vue du sens il y aurait des répliques à revoir mais ce sont vos idées, je n'y touche pas.
Réponse: John's dilema de ruofei, postée le 31-03-2005 à 04:29:59 (S | E)
Bonjour kikrammstein,
Même s’il s’agit du langage parl? essaie de construire tes phrases au minimum:
- What’s your problem? (plutôt agressif: c’est quoi ton probleme?!) > what’s the matter? What’s wrong?
-...it’s a serious moment > this is no time to mess about. (c'est pas le moment de faire n'importe quoi)
- I must go to war (sans ‘the?
- You, dressed in military uniform! Women will definitely take a liking to you! ('seduce': la personne n'a apparemment pas l'intention de séduire ces femmes. Tourne la phrase au passif)
- What are you talking about, you idiot?
- I mean, I wish I could go to Vietnam myself
- Going to Vietnam when a war is going on isn’t quite a good opportunity (il n'en a pas vraiment eu cette idée)
- Are you kiDDing me?
- No, I’m not!
passage pas vraiment cohérent.- ...I'd go to this war for the greater good of my homeland.
- I'd rather you went (
I'd rather + sombody+ preterit)- [.../pas compris votre sens]...I'll be on your side, no matter what.
- 'me too but'....
- I'm leaving for Canada tomorrow.
?très difficile, voire éprouvant de lire ton texte. On ne sait pas toujours qui dit quoi et il y a des phrases vraiment dures ?saisir (le passage du milieu par exemple)
Tu devrais revenir sur la mise en page, revoir les temps et donner plus de sens (de détails) ?tes répliques.
A bientôt.
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Edit?par ruofei le 31-03-2005 06:52
INDISPENSABLES : 