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Tout ce qui a un rapport avec l'apprentissage de l'anglais: grammaire, orthographe, aides aux devoirs, phrases etc.
petite rédaction
Message de Lea33 posté le 17-09-2005 à 12:30:24 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour tout le monde j'ai une rédaction d'anglais que j'ai faite(s)
et j'aurais voulu, si c'est possible qu'on me corrige quelques-unes de mes fautes.que j'ai du faire
merci beaucoup.
Sujet BAC 2005 - ANG LV1 :
1. l.2 "... Hong Kong, Australia and South Africa. They were good times..."
Would you be ready to go and live in faraway countries if it meant getting a better life? (300words)
My countrie, France, is very important for me. It's the place where i was born, i speak french, i live like a french poeple.
On the one had maybe live in faraway countries could be an very interesant experience for my person, but on the other that
has his disadvantages.(50)
First of all, to leave my countrie and go another is interesant for me because i like the idea to speak a different language,
for instance american or english, italian.. Indeed leave his countrie it's speak another language but live some other way,
with new poeple, meet new friend and different environment. In fact that enjoy me to change my habits and i shall have
the ocasion to learn other things. Moreover i could have find a better lifestyle. Besides it's why certain scientists leave
their countrie for having a better salary, it's tapical. As for me that can be an argument which could make me leave France.(109)
What's more(/Nevertheless), like i said leave in other countrie has his disadvantages, i must talk abouti it. In my opinion,
France is a privileged country. Because when we can look the television all bad things, lot of troubles and dangerous places
in the world that can afraid. Thus i say to myself, i'm very good in my house with my littles habits or to leave it's necessary
to make an intelligent choice and go in a peace countrie without big troubles like Irak. Furthermore quite all things which
are around me, my parents,my friend, my home, my city, it's very hard feeling.(107)
On the whole for my part i'm ready to go and leave overseas, it's not a challenge for myself but just to explore and find a
better life.
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Edité par joy813 le 17-09-2005 12:39
titre
Message de Lea33 posté le 17-09-2005 à 12:30:24 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour tout le monde j'ai une rédaction d'anglais que j'ai faite(
et j'aurais voulu, si c'est possible qu'on me corrige quelques-unes de mes fautes.
merci beaucoup.
Sujet BAC 2005 - ANG LV1 :
1. l.2 "... Hong Kong, Australia and South Africa. They were good times..."
Would you be ready to go and live in faraway countries if it meant getting a better life? (300words)
My countrie, France, is very important for me. It's the place where i was born, i speak french, i live like a french poeple.
On the one had maybe live in faraway countries could be an very interesant experience for my person, but on the other that
has his disadvantages.(50)
First of all, to leave my countrie and go another is interesant for me because i like the idea to speak a different language,
for instance american or english, italian.. Indeed leave his countrie it's speak another language but live some other way,
with new poeple, meet new friend and different environment. In fact that enjoy me to change my habits and i shall have
the ocasion to learn other things. Moreover i could have find a better lifestyle. Besides it's why certain scientists leave
their countrie for having a better salary, it's tapical. As for me that can be an argument which could make me leave France.(109)
What's more(/Nevertheless), like i said leave in other countrie has his disadvantages, i must talk abouti it. In my opinion,
France is a privileged country. Because when we can look the television all bad things, lot of troubles and dangerous places
in the world that can afraid. Thus i say to myself, i'm very good in my house with my littles habits or to leave it's necessary
to make an intelligent choice and go in a peace countrie without big troubles like Irak. Furthermore quite all things which
are around me, my parents,my friend, my home, my city, it's very hard feeling.(107)
On the whole for my part i'm ready to go and leave overseas, it's not a challenge for myself but just to explore and find a
better life.
-------------------
Edité par joy813 le 17-09-2005 12:39
titre
Réponse: petite rédaction de ruofei, postée le 18-09-2005 à 06:56:35 (S | E)
Bonjour Lea,
voici ce que je te propose:
My country, France, is very important for/ to me. It's the place where i was born, i speak french and live like a french poeple. My language and culture are French
On the one hand, living in faraway countries could be an very interesting experience
has
First of all, leaving my (native) country and going to another one is interesting for me because i like the idea of speaking foreign languages like: American, English or Italian.. Indeed leave his countrie it's speak another language but live some other way,
with new poeple, meet new friend and different environment
. In fact, I enjoy the idea of changing my habits and learning new things. Moreover, i may find a better lifestyle. Besides, that's why some scientists leave their countries, that is to say, get a better salary, it's tapical
. As for me that can be an argument which could make me leave France. This would also be a good reason for me to leave France(109)What's more(/Nevertheless), as i said before/above living in other countries has
France is a privileged country. Because when we can look the television all bad things, lot of troubles and dangerous places
in the world that can afraid.From what we can watch on TV, we know that there are much more dangerous places in the world, that terrifying things happen these days that don't really occur in France Thus i say to myself,
to make an intelligent choice and go in a peace countrie without big troubles like Irak. If leaving is necessary, then it's best to go to peaceful countries and avoid those like Irak Furthermore quite all things which
are around me, my parents,my friend, my home, my city, it's very hard feeling.(107). I am strongly attached to my parents, friends, home and city
On the whole, for my part, i'm ready to go and live overseas, it's not a challenge for me but just the opportunityto explore and find a
better life.
one country / 2 coutrieslive # leave
Dans le début du texte, il y a plus de maladresses au niveau du vocabulaire et à partir du milieu du texte, ce sont des phrases entières qui sont difficiles à comprendre à cause d'une grammaire faible, il me semble. Mais ton texte est plutôt sympa.
Réponse: petite rédaction de ourimba, postée le 19-09-2005 à 22:36:41 (S | E)
J'ai refait ce texte en anglais plus correct:
My country, France, is very important to me. It's the place where I was born, I speak French, and I live a French lifestyle. On the one hand, perhaps living in faraway country could be a very interesting experience for me personally, but on the other hand there are some disadvantages.
First of all, leaving my country for another is interesting because I like the idea of speaking a different language, for instance English or Italian. In addition to a different language, I like the idea of living some other way, with new people, making new friends and experiencing a different environment. In fact, I think I would enjoy changing my habits and having the opportunity to learn new things. Moreover, I could find a better lifestyle, in the same fashion as certain scientists who leave their country to make a higher salary, which could also be an argument that would persuade me to leave France.
Nevertheless, as I stated previously, living in another country does have disadvantages which I cannot ignore. In my opinion, France is a privileged country. We only have to watch television to see all the bad things going on in the world today, lots of troubles and dangerous places in the world make me afraid to leave my home. I say to myself, I'm doing fine in my house with my mundane habits. In order or to leave it's necessary to make an intelligent choice and go to a peaceful country without huge troubles like Iraq. Furthermore, leaving all the familiar things that surround me: my parents, my friends, my home, my city, is very hard for me to imagine.
On the whole, I feel that I'm ready to go and live overseas, not as a way to challenge myself, but as a way to explore and find a better life.
INDISPENSABLES : 