correction devoir important !!
Message de loubinou posté le 09-10-2005 à 20:57:35 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour
voici le sujet:fear of your life a traiter en 250 mots.
pourriez vous me corriger mes fautes et améliorer ma redaction en ayant peut être des termes plus élaborés.thanks a lot!

it was about eleven o'clock at night,the wind was stroking my face,I wandered in the dark streets of paris,I just would be able to heard my fullsteps and distinguish my house which was stil far away from me.I kept walking through the asphalt,I had to walk for more than thirty minutes on account of the weather was turned into the rain.I could'nt bear getting wet and the water was penetrating my clothes,I felt my boday to catch cold and all my limbs to shiver.The faster I walked,the wuicker I arrived I said me,therefore I decided to race in a rush,the huge door was closer to me,I could see the doorbell in spite of the rain.I was getting one's breath back when the old door swung open quickly,my father was standing there,he said me"go to bed imediatly!,have you seen what time is it?"I could not tell any words,I was petrified because of my wet clothes.I couldn't explain his reaction,for all I know today is my birthday and my relatives didn't think about it.I was so depressed I prefered to sleep.I wondered why my father said me that,and,all at once,I broke down and I bursted into tears.Thourh my sob,I heard hammering,the noise was more and more strong,the walls vibrated,on the top of that,I heard some voices,I awoke and I brought up to the window,I was scared and terrified,the light kept switching on and off.I suffocated,I wrapt myself up in the duvet,I was so frightened I could not move any more.I heard stricking against the wall a second time,so I hid in my duvet,I saw anything and I just heard my breath.But,someone was in the corridor,near from my room,the fullsteps were noisy,I breathed very quickly,the door grated slowly,the fullsteps resounded in my bedroom.I was upset,I was warm,a hand caught my duvet,I wouldn't to see,I started screaming violently.Yhe two hands took me and said me"don't worry!,it a surprise,everybody is expecting for you,happy bithday!"My mother comforted me,in fact my relatives made me a joke!

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Edité par bridg le 09-10-2005 21:24