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les cendres d'Angela exposé
Message de sarah87 posté le 05-02-2006 à 21:59:26 (S | E | F | I)
bonsoir !!
pourriez vous me corrigersvp s'il vous plaît ??
After the brutal death of their daughter at the seven weeks age, disappointed by the american dream and pushed by the hunger, the Mc Court family leave Brooklyn in 1935 and return to Ireland thanks to the money sent by the Angela's mother in order to buy the tickets, thus making the opposite way of the Irish emigrants. At the time, the Irish thought that to live it was necessary to emigrate. Between 1841 and 1968 four million five hundred miles Irish emigrated in the United States. The Irish emigration starts with "the Great Hunger" in 1845 beacause of the disastrous potato harvests and goes on until the mid of the twenteeth century
The topic the more present in the film is the poverty : When the Mc Court family come in Ireland, to Limerick they live in a small house, the Angela's mother pay the rent because the father Malachy senior rarely has a job and when he has one, he spends his wage or his allowance unemployment in the pubs. They have to live upstairs because the first floor is often flooded, the climate is very wet and it's always raining. Oliver, one of the twins dies of a pneumonia and a few times after, Eugène, his twin brother dies of cold in his sleep, the infant mortality was very important. Angela has to beg in order to feed and dress her children, they don't enough money to by shoes for Frankie and Malachy junior, so the father manufactures them with pieces of rubber, but at school all the children mafe fun of them. The institutor strikes pupils with a belt if they make silly things. Two others babies born, there was no contraception in Ireland and the number of children was very important. Frank says " one of more who sharing my dinner". Angela doesn't have milk to feed her child because her husband spent the allowance allocated to the new born, she is going to beg again from churches and charity organizations. The catholic religion is omnipresent, people pray to God all the day, Frank makes his communion and his confirmation. In 1921, the island is divided into two parts. The norther Ireland is protestant and the Republic of Ireland, in the south is catholic, there is a religious segregation, the catholics hates the protestants.
je n'ai pas encore terminé mais ce serait sympa si quelqu'un pouvait me corriger mes fautes et me dire si j'ai oublié de dire des choses importantes !!
merci d'avance
sarah
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Edité par lucile83 le 06-02-2006 07:14
Message de sarah87 posté le 05-02-2006 à 21:59:26 (S | E | F | I)
bonsoir !!
pourriez vous me corriger
After the brutal death of their daughter at the seven weeks age, disappointed by the american dream and pushed by the hunger, the Mc Court family leave Brooklyn in 1935 and return to Ireland thanks to the money sent by the Angela's mother in order to buy the tickets, thus making the opposite way of the Irish emigrants. At the time, the Irish thought that to live it was necessary to emigrate. Between 1841 and 1968 four million five hundred miles Irish emigrated in the United States. The Irish emigration starts with "the Great Hunger" in 1845 beacause of the disastrous potato harvests and goes on until the mid of the twenteeth century
The topic the more present in the film is the poverty : When the Mc Court family come in Ireland, to Limerick they live in a small house, the Angela's mother pay the rent because the father Malachy senior rarely has a job and when he has one, he spends his wage or his allowance unemployment in the pubs. They have to live upstairs because the first floor is often flooded, the climate is very wet and it's always raining. Oliver, one of the twins dies of a pneumonia and a few times after, Eugène, his twin brother dies of cold in his sleep, the infant mortality was very important. Angela has to beg in order to feed and dress her children, they don't enough money to by shoes for Frankie and Malachy junior, so the father manufactures them with pieces of rubber, but at school all the children mafe fun of them. The institutor strikes pupils with a belt if they make silly things. Two others babies born, there was no contraception in Ireland and the number of children was very important. Frank says " one of more who sharing my dinner". Angela doesn't have milk to feed her child because her husband spent the allowance allocated to the new born, she is going to beg again from churches and charity organizations. The catholic religion is omnipresent, people pray to God all the day, Frank makes his communion and his confirmation. In 1921, the island is divided into two parts. The norther Ireland is protestant and the Republic of Ireland, in the south is catholic, there is a religious segregation, the catholics hates the protestants.
je n'ai pas encore terminé mais ce serait sympa si quelqu'un pouvait me corriger mes fautes et me dire si j'ai oublié de dire des choses importantes !!
merci d'avance
sarah
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Edité par lucile83 le 06-02-2006 07:14
Réponse: correction svp de mp27, postée le 06-02-2006 à 04:36:29 (S | E)
C'est un gros morceau... et tu dis que ta traduction n'est pas encore terminée, alors, je te souhaite bon courage pour aller jusqu'au bout! Voici l'essentiel. Les points relevés n'ont pas tous la même importance. A toi de voir.
at the seven weeks age ---> at the age of...
the hunger ---> omettre the (tu vois pourquoi?)
the Angela's mother ---> omettre l'article the (tu vois pourquoi?)
making the opposite way ---> travelling the opposite way to...
miles ---> un mile, c'est environ 1,6km, mais 1000 (mille) = one thousand, donc...
beacause ---> misprint
until the mid of ---> the middle of ......
twenteeth ---> spelling
The topic the more present ---> je ne connais pas le texte français, mais quelque chose cloche. Revois l'ordre des mots
the poverty ---> tu sais pourquoi il faudrait que tu omettes l'article "the"?
his allowance unemployment ---> ordre des mots
dies of a pneumonia ---> to die of a stroke, of a heart attack, but, to die of Aids, of cancer, of pneumonia.
a few times after ---> a few times veut dire: plusieurs fois / 2, 3 ou 4 fois. Ici, ta traduction mot à mot s'éloigne tout à fait du sens du texte (je devine que tu devais traduire "peu de temps après", non?)
to feed and dress her children ---> dans ce contexte, to give food and clothes to her children donne une note plus appropriée
they don't enough money ---> il y a un mot qui manque
to by shoes ---> différence entre "by" and "buy"?
mafe ---> faute de frappe!
The institutor ---> non, l'ínstituteur/institutrice, ne se traduit pas par "institutor".
Two others babies ---> ici, others n'a pas de "s". Tu vois pourquoi?
Two ... babies born ---> rappelle-toi que naître, c'est to "be born" et que "je suis né" c'est " I was born", alors, regarde le sujet et vois ce que tu dois mettre ici devant "born".
one of more ---> pas de of dans la traduction de "un de plus"
her husband spent ---> vérifie le temps que tu dois employer. Si c'est un présent, alors, rectifie le verbe en conséquence.
who sharing ---> c'est ou bien "who shares", ou bien "who is sharing". A toi de décider.
the new born ---> the newborn child/the newborn baby
pray to God ---> pray God
all the day ---> si c'est toute la journée, (du matin au soir) ---> all day long
norther ---> une lettre manque à la fin du mot
the catholics hates... ---> Temps présent. Le sujet du verbe: est-il 3eme personne du singulier? ou du pluriel?...
Espérant que tout cela t'aidera.
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Modifié par bridg le 08-02-2006 19:49
Réponse: correction svp de jardin62, postée le 06-02-2006 à 06:43:39 (S | E)
...C'est donc le fameux exposé que vous mentionniez la semaine passée et pour lequel vous disiez n'avoir aucune idée...
Il contient - certes - beaucoup de phrases à reprendre et - vous ayant donné des pistes à suivre -, face à la longueur du travail à refaire, personnellement je n'ai pas le temps de m'ateler à ce travail.
Cependant : vous ne faites donc plus un exposé sur ' poverty in Ireland in those years' mais un résumé du livre ( = le film pour vous, j'imagine ), forcément centré sur la misère puisque il n'est fait que de cela.
Vous traduisez votre exposé - écrit, cela se comprend en français - en pratiquant le mot à mot :
ex : la mère d'Angela = Angela's mother et non
L'utilisation de 'the' vous pose beaucoup de problème.
Exemple de phrases à reprendre : la correction donne une idée du travail à faire qui rend la chose impossible car il serait absolument nécessaire qu'elle soit expliquée.
- '... make silly things' => The master canes and humiliates the pupils each time they don't behave properly according to him.
- ' As they can't afford buying shoes, the father repair the children's (shoes ) with pieces of rubber thus making them feel ridiculous'. The other children make fun of Frankie, of course.
- Angela can't even give milk to the baby because her husband spends all the money at the pub.
( Importance du pub pour les gens pauvres de l'époque : 'The pub is where the men spend all the money they get and even the allowance given by the Catholic Board : the pub is the place where they can escape from the horrors of everyday life' )
- She gives birth to two more babies.
=> Ne pourriez-vous maintenant soumettre votre essai sous sa forme brouillon à votre professeur qui pourrait avoir une idée de ce que vous avez déjà fait, se rendre compte du travail à faire encore et vous signaler des pistes à revoir ?
Réponse: correction svp de bnn, postée le 06-02-2006 à 07:06:13 (S | E)
Bonsoir! Je suis très pressé, mais voici quelques corrections :
After the brutal death of their seven-week-old daughter, disappointed by the American dream and pushed by hunger, the McCourt family left Brooklyn in 1935 and returned to Ireland — thanks to Angela's mother who sent them money for tickets — thus taking the opposite route of Irish emigrants. At the time, the Irish...
Meilleurs voeux!
Réponse: les cendres d'Angela exposé de jardin62, postée le 06-02-2006 à 15:46:33 (S | E)
<font color=#000000>Le tout est de savoir si vous allez faire le 'résumé' de ce livre /film au présent comme vous sembliez en avoir l'intention ou bien suivre la proposition faite pour le début par bnn qui utilise le prétérit. Attention au mélange des temps.
At the time the Irish felt the urgency to emigrate to the USA to escape their misery. 'The Great Hunger' of 1845 was due to disastrous potato harvests and it went on until the middle of the 20th century.
The heart of the book / film ( C'est d'abord un livre ! ) is poverty.
When the McCourt family came back to Ireland they had to live in a slum ( = taudis ) : it was small, dirty, bad smelling, cold ...Angela's mother paid the rent because her daughter's husband, Malachy senior, was not able to get or even to keep a job. As soon as he had some money he spent it at the pub.
The family had to live upstairs because the ground floor was regularly flooded when it rained heavily. Rain seems to be part of the scenery : it's Ireland with it's wet climate.
Oliver, one of the little twins died from pneumonia and some time after, Eugene, his twin brother died from cold in his sleep. Very few children could live long enough. Mortality among the children was very important at the time.
Angela was obliged to beg in order to feed and dress her children. They couldn't afford to buy shoes so the father .... ( voir plus haut, ma correction )
...
Angela gave birth to other babies : contraception was of course inimaginable in Ireland ! The number of children to feed was important. Frankie once said : 'one of more who (sharing ) my dinner' => citation à vérifier/ construction
Ireland and Catholicism : The religion is omnipresent because people depend on charities, the church, the parish to live. People are asked to pray God as often as possible ...
Frank's communion and confirmation show how heavy it weighs on the people.
In 1921, the island is divided into two parts. Northern Ireland is Protestant and Southern Ireland which is a republic is Catholic.
There's began the religious segregation and of the troubles we know about...
Réponse: les cendres d'Angela exposé de sarah87, postée le 08-02-2006 à 19:12:03 (S | E)
merci beaucoup pour vos traduction, je n'ai pas encore présenté mon exposé étant donné que ma prof n'etait pas la, comme vous le dites jardin 62 je me suis rendue compte que c'etait plus un résumé qu'autre chose, j'ai donc redemandé a la prof l'objectif de cet exposé, elle m'a dit qu'il fallait développé les thèmes, ici il n'y a que la pauvreté, je lui ai donc dit que j'avais fini par faire une description de la pauvreté en irlande ce qui rejoignait le résumé et elle m'a dit qu'il fallait alors décrire mais aussi analyser, je vais donc reprendre ce que j'ai fait, corriger mes fautes et ensuite analyser
merci beaucoup
sarah
Réponse: les cendres d'Angela exposé de sarah87, postée le 08-02-2006 à 19:13:26 (S | E)
je voulais dire "merci beaucoup pour vos corrections" !! désolée !!
Réponse: les cendres d'Angela exposé de jardin62, postée le 08-02-2006 à 20:34:23 (S | E)
Bonsoir.
Oui, mais analyser quoi ? le texte ? la façon de traiter la pauvreté par le cinéaste ?
S'il s'agit du film, les images ? ...
Vous savez que c'est bien vague, 'analyser' ? !...
Vous a-t-elle donné des précisions sur ce que cela impliquait ?
A plus tard peut-être.
Bon courage : ne faites pas de choses trop compliquées dans votre analyse mais surtout renseignez-vous sur ce que cela veut dire exactement.
Réponse: les cendres d'Angela exposé de sarah87, postée le 10-02-2006 à 21:09:11 (S | E)
ben je ne sais pas, elle m'a simplement dit "analyser", je vais le retravailler et si j'ai le temps je le taperai afin de vous montrer le résultat final !
merci
sarah
INDISPENSABLES : 