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English theme
Message de nouna posté le 09-02-2006 à 20:55:43 (S | E | F | I)
bonjour je voudrais juste savoir s'il y a des incorrections vraiment frappantes dans ma traduction... C'est un extrait d'une fanfiction harry potter. Merci beaucoup!!
Hello! Please, can you indicate to me where are the mistakes in the following text? It's a Harry Potter's fanfiction THANKS!!
Chapter 27 : Little Auburn Riding Hood
--------------------------------------
Days which preceded the Tournament, were chaotic enough for Ron, and, therefore , for Harry. Because the young man was being very uneasy before Hermione’s apparent indifference. She was doing exactly as if nothing have been passed, and refused to tackle with Ron about all that were in line with the subject. Harry was careful not to try, as to Neville he was very happy to announce to everybody, who couldn’t care less about it, what he will go dancing with Luna Lovegood. Ron was in a state of nerves near of the implosion. He missed all his spells, and that's why, when he metamorphosed by mistake Harry’s glasses in napkin rings, Professor McGonagall said that holidays would be welcomed for everybody. During the latest Quidditch training, he was so lamentable that Harry threatened him to kick out of the team if he didn’t take a grip on himself. As to Hermione, Harry didn’t manage to know what she really felt. She made him understand that she knew full well that he would serve as her confidences to give advice to Ron, and that therefore, she didn’t have the intention of doing it. What he can be reassured, she did nothing to upset the harmony which united them all three. What she accepted his errors and if she was unhappy, he didn’t suffer it. She would pass a few days of holidays with her parents and when she would return, they would have all forgotten. The announcement of Hermione’s impending departure was the last straw that broke the camel’s back for Ron.
- ‘You can’t give up Poudlard !’ he asserted , while Hermione was terminating an exercice for Snape.
- ‘And why that ?’ she asked , almost indifferent.
- ‘Because you are safe here! If you go back in the Muggle you will be in danger.’
- ‘On the one hand, I don’t go back in the Muggle, I go back home. On the other hand , I was in danger when Voldemort tried to find Harry. At present that he knows where he is, I don’t fear nothing.’
She arranged her feather and rolled her parchment.
- ‘Harry, tell her you that she must remain with us.’
- ‘Hmm... Hermione may desire to see her parents.’
Harry didn’t want to knock his friend, but he considered that a little of distance between them wouldn’t hurt anybody. Neville brought him an unhoped diversion. He wanted to show to Hermione the spell that he and his team brought into focus for the competition.
-------------------
Edité par bridg le 09-02-2006 21:03
Message de nouna posté le 09-02-2006 à 20:55:43 (S | E | F | I)
bonjour je voudrais juste savoir s'il y a des incorrections vraiment frappantes dans ma traduction... C'est un extrait d'une fanfiction harry potter. Merci beaucoup!!
Hello! Please, can you indicate to me where are the mistakes in the following text? It's a Harry Potter's fanfiction THANKS!!
Chapter 27 : Little Auburn Riding Hood
--------------------------------------
Days which preceded the Tournament, were chaotic enough for Ron, and, therefore , for Harry. Because the young man was being very uneasy before Hermione’s apparent indifference. She was doing exactly as if nothing have been passed, and refused to tackle with Ron about all that were in line with the subject. Harry was careful not to try, as to Neville he was very happy to announce to everybody, who couldn’t care less about it, what he will go dancing with Luna Lovegood. Ron was in a state of nerves near of the implosion. He missed all his spells, and that's why, when he metamorphosed by mistake Harry’s glasses in napkin rings, Professor McGonagall said that holidays would be welcomed for everybody. During the latest Quidditch training, he was so lamentable that Harry threatened him to kick out of the team if he didn’t take a grip on himself. As to Hermione, Harry didn’t manage to know what she really felt. She made him understand that she knew full well that he would serve as her confidences to give advice to Ron, and that therefore, she didn’t have the intention of doing it. What he can be reassured, she did nothing to upset the harmony which united them all three. What she accepted his errors and if she was unhappy, he didn’t suffer it. She would pass a few days of holidays with her parents and when she would return, they would have all forgotten. The announcement of Hermione’s impending departure was the last straw that broke the camel’s back for Ron.
- ‘You can’t give up Poudlard !’ he asserted , while Hermione was terminating an exercice for Snape.
- ‘And why that ?’ she asked , almost indifferent.
- ‘Because you are safe here! If you go back in the Muggle you will be in danger.’
- ‘On the one hand, I don’t go back in the Muggle, I go back home. On the other hand , I was in danger when Voldemort tried to find Harry. At present that he knows where he is, I don’t fear nothing.’
She arranged her feather and rolled her parchment.
- ‘Harry, tell her you that she must remain with us.’
- ‘Hmm... Hermione may desire to see her parents.’
Harry didn’t want to knock his friend, but he considered that a little of distance between them wouldn’t hurt anybody. Neville brought him an unhoped diversion. He wanted to show to Hermione the spell that he and his team brought into focus for the competition.
-------------------
Edité par bridg le 09-02-2006 21:03
Réponse: English theme de bnn, postée le 12-02-2006 à 08:24:17 (S | E)
Hi! Sorry, but I know almost nothing about Harry Potter and I can't quite grasp the meaning of some parts, but here are some grammar corrections/suggestions:
Hello! Please, can you point out the mistakes in the following text? It's Harry Potter fanfiction.
Chapter 27: Little Auburn Riding Hood (Did you mean Red Riding Hood?)
The days which preceded the tournament were chaotic enough for Ron and, therefore, for Harry. It was because the young man was very uneasy about Hermione’s apparent indifference. She was acting as if nothing had happened, and refused to tackle Ron about the matter.
Harry was careful not to try, as he was very happy to announce to Neville and to everyone, who couldn’t care less about it, that he was going dancing with Luna Lovegood.
Ron was in a state of nerves (?????) the implosion. (implosion or explosion? Provide which word you need. I'm unsure.) He missed all his spells and that's why, when he metamorphosed Harry’s glasses into napkin rings by mistake, Professor McGonagall said the holidays would be welcomed by everyone. During the latest Quidditch training, he was so distressed that Harry threatened to kick him off the team if he didn’t get a grip on himself.
As for Hermione, Harry didn’t know what she really felt. She made him understand that she knew full well that he would serve as her confidant concerning advice to Ron and, therefore, she didn’t have the intention of doing so. (Maybe you mean "concerning advice about Ron"?)
I'm not clear about the next «segment», but:
«He could be reassured that she did nothing to upset the harmony which united all three. She accepted his errors, and if she was unhappy, she didn’t show it. She would spend part of the holidays with her parents, and when she returned, all would be forgotten.» For Ron, the announcement of Hermione’s impending departure was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
"You can’t give up Poudlard!", he exclaimed, while Hermione was finishing an exercise for Snape.
"And why?", she asked, almost indifferently.
"Because you are safe here! If you go back in the Muggle, you'll be in danger."
"On the one hand, if I don’t return in the Muggle, I'll go back home.", said Hermione. "On the other hand, I was in danger when Voldemort tried to find Harry. At present, he knows where he is, so I have nothing to fear."
She arranged her feather and rolled her parchment. (It's possible that you mean rearranged? But if you meant "feather" as a writing instrument, then the word you should probably use is replaced)
"Harry, tell her that she must remain with us.", said Ron.
"Hmm... Hermione may desire to see her parents.", replied Harry.
Harry didn’t want to knock his friend, but he considered that a little distance between them wouldn’t hurt anyone. Neville brought an unexpected diversion. He wanted to show Hermione the spell that he and his team had concocted for the competition.
INDISPENSABLES : 