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Ma pièce à corriger
Message de sonibrit posté le 25-06-2005 à 14:57:35 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour à tous, j'ai écrit une histoire et je suis en train de la traduire en anglais alors s'il y a des fautes corrigez les et surtout pourquoi?
Mercci
Everywhere but everytime
Scene I :
The scene takes place into Rose’s room.
The alarm clock sounds then She wakes up. It prepares to go with the college and she goes down to take his breakfast.
The second scene takes place into the kitchen.
We can see Jinny into its arms.
Mike: Rose are you here? I must accompany your sister at the
nursery school. Can you go out the garbage before you leave.
Rose: Yes (She hesitates to say him something)Euhm...Mike,
this evening I will return home at twenty o’clock.
Mike:I’m so sorry but you can’t because you have to go seeking
Your sister at fifteen hour and half and moreover I will
Have An important meeting.
Rose: ...Please, it’s urgent!
Mike: Firstly, where you will go?
Rose: Why you want to know it?
Mike:In your opinion...
Rose: (while cutting him the word) not the sorrow to continue,
I have understood...you don’t trust me.
Mike:Leave me to finish please...
Rose: (while cutting him the word) you always say me this.
(then she goes out to the kitchen)
Mike: Wait...(He’s looking at Jinny )
Jinny: Is she irritated?
Mike: No, she’s just sad?
La suite sera pour demain.
See you tomorrow.
-------------------
Edité par bridg le 25-06-2005 16:56
Divers + titre
Message de sonibrit posté le 25-06-2005 à 14:57:35 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour à tous, j'ai écrit une histoire et je suis en train de la traduire en anglais alors s'il y a des fautes corrigez les et surtout pourquoi?
Mercci
Everywhere but everytime
Scene I :
The scene takes place into Rose’s room.
The alarm clock sounds then She wakes up. It prepares to go with the college and she goes down to take his breakfast.
The second scene takes place into the kitchen.
We can see Jinny into its arms.
Mike: Rose are you here? I must accompany your sister at the
nursery school. Can you go out the garbage before you leave.
Rose: Yes (She hesitates to say him something)Euhm...Mike,
this evening I will return home at twenty o’clock.
Mike:I’m so sorry but you can’t because you have to go seeking
Your sister at fifteen hour and half and moreover I will
Have An important meeting.
Rose: ...Please, it’s urgent!
Mike: Firstly, where you will go?
Rose: Why you want to know it?
Mike:In your opinion...
Rose: (while cutting him the word) not the sorrow to continue,
I have understood...you don’t trust me.
Mike:Leave me to finish please...
Rose: (while cutting him the word) you always say me this.
(then she goes out to the kitchen)
Mike: Wait...(He’s looking at Jinny )
Jinny: Is she irritated?
Mike: No, she’s just sad?
La suite sera pour demain.
See you tomorrow.
-------------------
Edité par bridg le 25-06-2005 16:56
Divers + titre
Réponse: une correction de moudounou, postée le 25-06-2005 à 16:05:56 (S | E)
Hi,
The scene takes place into Rose’s room.
The alarm clock sounds then She wakes up.
The second scene takes place into the kitchen.
We can see Jinny into
Mike: Rose are you here? I must accompany your sister at the
nursery school. Can you go out the garbage before you leave.
Rose: Yes (She hesitates to say him something)Euhm...Mike,
this evening I will return home at twenty o’clock.
Mike:I’m so sorry but you can’t because you have to go seeking
Your sister at fifteen hourS(j'en suis pas sur) and half and moreover I will have an (pas besoin de majuscules) important meeting.
Voila c'est tout ce que j'ai trouvé, mais honnêtement je suis pas une pro
See you soon.
Réponse: une correction de sonibrit, postée le 25-06-2005 à 16:09:44 (S | E)
Merci mais est-ce que tu as aimé ou pas pour l'intant l'histoire?
Réponse: une correction de moudounou, postée le 25-06-2005 à 16:17:27 (S | E)
Oui, j'ai hâte de voir la suite.
Que va faire Rose? Et Mike?
Cette histoire, est-ce que tu comptes la poster sur le site? Je vais partir demain en vacances et cela me ferait plaisir de la retrouver (entière
), mais pas sur un forum (moins agréable à lire)Bon, j'espère pouvoir lire la suite rapidement.
A bientôt et
, continue-là, please.Moudounou.
Réponse: Ma pièce à corriger de serena, postée le 25-06-2005 à 19:14:24 (S | E)
Bonjour sonibrit,
Je propose comme corrections:
Scene I :
The scene takes place
The alarm clock
The second scene takes place
Mike: Rose are you here? I must
Rose:
Mike: I’m
Rose: ...Please, it’s urgent!
Mike: Firstly First, tell me, where
Rose: Why do you want to know
Mike: In your opinion...
Rose: (
Mike:
Rose: (
Mike: Wait...(He
Jinny: Is she
Mike: No,
Comme tu vois, je me suis permis de changer quelques tournures que j’ai trouvées trop formelles pour un dialogue familier. Avec quelques idées pour certaines phrases. Tu n’es pas obligée d’en tenir compte, ce ne sont que des propositions.
Réponse: La suite de sonibrit, postée le 26-06-2005 à 16:31:06 (S | E)
Scene II:
Rose is at school. Her friends are arriving(Mary-Kate and Rachel). Rose is close to its rack when she closes it she sees them.
Rose: Hi girls (she look like sad)
Mary-kate/Rachel: Hi!
Mary-Kate: Well, this evening you will came at Matt’s party?
Rose: No, I can’t because I must go to seek my sister.
Rachel: You said us, you had no obstacle for today.
Rose: Yes, I know it but it’s not my fault.
Rachel: I think that you You do not occupy yourself any more
to you these times.
Mary-Kate: She’s right, You seem of not more to want to
entertain you.Your results lower, you don’t speak
anymore to person.What’s happening you?
Rose: I don’t know...I...I’m just perturbed.
Rachel: If you need assistance, say it.
Rose: Thank you. (then she leaves)
Mary-kate: I hope there is nothing.
Rachel: Don’t worry, she’s well.
Mary-Kate: I hope...
Rachel: Well, we have to go now.
Mary-Kate: Yes, I arrive.
-------------------
Edité par joy813 le 26-06-2005 16:50
mise en page
Réponse: Ma pièce à corriger de serena, postée le 27-06-2005 à 19:25:37 (S | E)
Bonjour sonibrit,
Dans ton MP, tu dis que Mike est le frère de Rose et leurs parents sont morts dans un accident.
Je vais corriger ton deuxième texte ici, en mettant les corrections en couleurs, sans barrer. Tu feras la comparaison avec le tien ensuite, ok ?
Rose is at school. She was closing her rack
when she saw her friends, Mary-Kate and Rachel, coming. Rose: Hi girls (she looks sad)
Mary-kate/Rachel: Hi!
Mary-Kate: Well, will you be to Matt’s party this evening?
Rose: No, I can’t because I must go and pick my sister up at school.
Rachel: You told us you had no obstacle today.
Rose: Yes, I know but it’s not my fault.
Rachel: I think that you're not taking care of yourself anymore.
Mary-Kate: Rachel is right, It seems you don't like enjoying yourself anymore, your results are falling, you don’t speak with anybody at all. What’s happening to you?
Rose: I don’t know...I...I’m just disturbed.
Rachel: If you need help, tell us!.
Rose: Thank you. (then she went away)
Mary-kate: I hope there is nothing wrong with her.
Rachel: Don’t worry, she’s ok..
Mary-Kate: I hope so...
Rachel: Well, we have to go now.
Mary-Kate: Yes, I am coming (Ok! Let's go!) .
Voilà sonibrit. Tu aimes les mot-à-mots, mais je suis sûre que tu y arriveras.
..... 
Réponse: Ma pièce à corriger de bridg, postée le 01-07-2005 à 23:59:16 (S | E)
suite de la pièce de sonibrit/ vous avez votre sujet ici.
Message de sonibrit posté le 01-07-2005 à 23:45:59 (S | E | F | I)
bonsoir à tous pourriez-vous corriger mes fautes et faire une apprèciation générale.Merci
Scène III:
We can see Mike to his office.He’s arranging its files then
the phone is ringing.
Mike: Yes.
The secretary: Mr Mcgrew has came.
Mike: leave to enter it.
Mr Mcgrew hits to the door and Mike opens him.
Mike: Hello (squeezing itself the hand).
Mr Mcgrew: I don’t disturb you?
Mike: Sure, no.Do you install.Do you want drinking tea or
Coffee?
Mr Mcgrew: A cup of coffee without a sugar, please.
Mike: (He’s ringing to her secretary)
The Secretary: Yes mr.
Mike: Bring me coffee for Mr Mcgrew. Oh yes ... without a
sugar.
The Secretary: I bring it back to you right away.
Mike: (sits down) Well like I told you, we have to buy that
Product. I feel, he will do a success.
Mr Mcgrew: But we thinking is early to buy it now.
Mike: You do Trust me!
Mr Mcgrew: We will make decisions this evening.
Mike: Sure.
mr Mcgrew: Well see you soon and be on time please for
Once.
Mike: (opens the door in order to mr macgrew goes out)Don’t
Worry.
Réponse: Ma pièce à corriger de jardin62, postée le 02-07-2005 à 10:35:43 (S | E)
Hello sonibrit.
Scène III
(Mike is in his office - He's putting order in his files when the phone rings)-
- J'ai préféré simplifier les phrases qui plantent la situation.
- vocabulaire: 'mettre en ordre' => j'ai préféré 'to put order' au lieu de 'to arrange'.
- grammaire: 'his' (possesseur = personne masculine)
- présent simple ('rings') : l'action est soudaine.
Mike : Yes.... who's speaking?
(ajout + poli)
The secretary: Sorry to disturb you, but Mr McGrew has just arrived.
(ajouts pour donner à la secrétaire un langage plus soumis par rapport à son patron/ has + participe passé + verbe approprié : 'arrive')
Mike: Let him in
- laisser entrer = to let someone in/ faire entrer: to show someone in
(Mr MacGrew knocks at the door. Mike opens.)
- to knock et non to hit : le 1er étant réservé 'à la porte'
Mike:
(They shake hands)
- se serrer la main et non la 'presser comme un citron'
Hello, MacGrew.
McGrew: I hope I am not disturbing you...
-plus aimable : j'espère ne pas être en train de...
Mike: Of course not. Take a seat. How about tea or coffee?
- s'installer = s'asseoir= prenez un siège / Proposer du thé ou du café de façon plus anglaise + ta construction avec Ving est incorrecte
MacGrew: A cup of coffee would be nice, without sugar please, thanks.
- La politesse des relations.
Mike:
( On the phone to his secretary)
Will you bring a cup of coffee for Mr MacGrew please... Oh, er,..without sugar please! Thanks a lot (+ nom de la secrétaire) !
- Le patron doit s'exprimer avec la politesse voulue : will you...? => voulez-vous...?
- sugar et non 'a'.
The secretary: I'll bring it right away, sir.
- 'monsieur 'quand on s'adresse à quelqu'un = 'sir' / si l'on donne son nom après on dit 'Mr X'.
Mike
(He makes himself comfortable in his armchair)
- Je te propose une indication scénique plus précise: il se met à l'aise dans son fauteuil, il s'installe)
Well, as I told you, we have to buy that product. I feel it will be a success
- product = it/ être un succès = to be a success
- voir la différence d'emploi entre like et as
MacGrew: The problem is that we think it is too early to buy it now.
- il faut qu'il amène son objection plus diplomatiquement.
Mike: You must trust me, MacGrew!
- you do trust me= vous me croyez, c'est sûr/ Là il formule une obligation => must
MacGrew: We'll make the decision this evening.
Mike: Sure!
- que veut-il faire comprendre? quel est le ton?
MacGrew:
(He stands up)
- Il faut une indication scénique: il ne peut pas dire cela assis/ Il semble que ce soient des mots prononcés quand on se quitte.
Well, see you soon. Be on time for once, please.
-ponctuation
Mike:
(He opens the door. McGrew goes out)
- Les indications scéniques ne sont pas des phrases développées dans un texte fait pour le théâtre.
Don't worry, I'll be on time.
- ajout : I'll be on time
Tu demandes une appréciation? C'est difficile...
Si c'est sur l'anglais employé...je dirais que tu fais du mot à mot. Tu as du mal à trouver les formules adaptées. Je ne sais pas si tu fais des recherches dans un dictionnaire suffisamment gros pour te donner les variantes, les emplois adaptés. Les phrases qui servent aux acteurs doivent être courtes et précises, c'est important. Ne pas non plus donner des indications qui ne servent pas aux acteurs.
Attention aux tons employés entre les différentes personnes.
Voilà: bon courage pour la suite.
*Le format a changé, je ne sais pas pourquoi, mais ce n'est pas bien grave.
-------------------
Edité par jardin62 le 02-07-2005 10:36
Réponse: Ma pièce à corriger de traviskidd, postée le 03-07-2005 à 04:39:12 (S | E)
Scene I: Rose's Bedroom
Rose is awakened by the alarm clock. She gets ready for school, and goes down for breakfast.
Scene II: The Kitchen
Rose is holding Jinny in her arms.
Mike: Rose, are you here? I have to take your sister to nursery school. Can you take out the garbage before you leave?
Rose: Yes. (Hesitating) Um...Mike, this evening I'll be out until 8.
Mike: I'm sorry, but you have to pick up your sister at 3:30. I have an important meeting so I won't be able to.
Rose: Please, it's important!
Mike: Well first of all, where were you planning on going? (Ici "were" parce que ça a déjà été interdit, même si Mike se changera d'avis après l'avoir discuté avec Rose.)
Rose: Why? ("do you want to know" est tout compris!)
Mike: Why do you think... ("Quelle raison penses-tu que j'ai?" C'est à dire, la raison est évidente.)
Rose: (cutting him off) Oh, I get it; you don't trust me!
Mike: Let me finish.
Rose: You always say that.
Mike: Wait.... (He glances at Jinny.)
Jinny: Is she angry(/mad)?
Mike: No, (she's) just sad.
Scene III: Rose's School
Rose's friends, Mary-Kate and Rachel, arrive. Rose sees them as she closes her rack
.Rose: (looking sad) Hi girls.
Mary-Kate/Rachel: Hi!
Mary-Kate: So, are you coming to Matt's party tonight? (On interroge sur un futur planifié, donc present progressive.)
Rose: Sorry, I can't; I've got to pick up my sister.
Rachel: You said you had no other plans (for) today.
Rose: Yeah I know, but something came/['s come] up. (En principe 's come, le present perfect, est meilleur, mais le prétérit n'importe aucune ambiguïté ; le lien au présent (I can't go to the party.) est en tout cas bien entendu.)
Rachel: Lately you've been seeming like you don't care about yourself anymore.
Mary-Kate: She's right. You don't seem to want to have fun anymore. Your grades
are worse, and you don't talk to anyone anymore. What's [going on]/up with you?Rose: I don't know...I...I'm just disturbed.
Rachel: If you need help, (just) say so!
Rose: Thank you. (She leaves.)
Rachel: Don't worry, she's OK.
Mary-Kate: I hope (so)....
Rachel: Well come on, we have to go.
Mary-Kate: Yeah, I'm coming....
Scene IV: Mike's Office
(Mike is putting some files in order when the phone rings.)
Mike: Yes?
Secretary: Mr. McGrew is here to see you, sir.
Mike: Send him in.
(Mr. McGrew knocks on the door; Mike lets him in.)
Mike: Hello. (They shake hands.)
Mr. McGrew: I hope I'm not disturbing you.
Mike: Not at all. Would you care for some tea or coffee?
Mr. McGrew: Coffee would be great ... no sugar, please.
(Mike rings the secretary.)
Secretary: Yes, sir?
Mike: Bring a cup of coffee for Mr. McGrew, please. No sugar.
Secretary: Right away, sir.
(Mike sits (down).)
Mike: So, as I've told you already, we have/need to buy that product. I feel it will be a (great) success.
Mr. McGrew: But we think it would be too early to buy it now.
Mike: You've got to trust me!
Mr. McGrew: We will make a decision this evening.
Mike: Alright.
Mr. McGrew: Well see you soon, and please be on time for once.
Mike: (seeing Mr. McGrew out) Don't worry; I will (be).
Réponse: correction de sonibrit, postée le 16-07-2005 à 16:23:47 (S | E)
Hi everybody can you correct me ? Thank you
Scne VI:
It’s 7am and Rose wakes up but Jinny is its her arms.
Rose: Jinny, Wake up...
Jinny: (Rubbing her eyes) I want sleep again.
Rose: No, we are late. We must go. you go to get dressed, I
Prepare your breakfast.
Jinny: But....
Rose: There’s no but...hurry up!!!
Jinny is going into her room to get ready. Rose goes towards the kitchen to make the breakfast suddenly she sees a message wrote by Mike .
Rose: (She’s reading) I’m so deeply, I have a meeting this
Evening, I will come in at midnight. Take care of your
Sister. (She finished reading) Oh no...! (she takes the
Phone to call her brother).
Mike: (being located in his office) Our business will must...
( he shoots the phone) Excuse-me (at a director). Hello!
Rose: Mike, i think you have exaggerate!
Mike: What are you telling?!
Rose: It’s about the message you left me. I can’t look after
Jinny and I ...
Mike: Listen Rose, at present I’m busy. If you want we will
Talk another day.
Rose: What? (She’s irritated) I’m not mistaken. You don’t give
A damn. (then she hangs up).
Mike: Rose, please ....(He’s talking witha director) I’m so
Sorry.
Director: Nowadays, teenagers are changing.
Mike: You was right and I’m worried!
Réponse: Ma pièce à corriger de jardin62, postée le 16-07-2005 à 17:20:42 (S | E)
Hello again!
(Scène VI)
It's 7 a.m and Rose wakes up. Jinny is in her arms.
Rose:
- Jinny, wake up!
Jinny (rubbing her eyes):
- I want to sleep...
Rose:
- No, we are late. we must go. Go and get dressed while I am preparing your breakfast.
Jinny:
- but...
Rose:
- no 'but'...Hurry up!
(Jinny goes to her room. Rose is in the kitchen. Suddenly, she sees a message. It's Mike's handwriting.)
Rose (she reads aloud)
- I am so deeply (il manque un mot : sorry?). I have a meeting this evening. I'll be back towards midnight. Take care of your sister. (She finishes reading). Oh no!...(she has the phone in hand => on ne peut pas savoir à qui elle téléphone)
Mike (in his office)
Our business will have to...(the phone rings)
(To a manager/boss). I beg your pardon.
Hello!
Rose:
Mike, I think you exaggerate!
Mike:
What are you talking about?
Rose:
It's about the message you left. I can't look after Jenny and I...
Mike:
Listen, Rose, I'm busy at present. We'll have a talk another day, if you don't mind.
Rose (She's is upset)
What? I understand very well: you don't give a damn. (She hangs up)
Mike:
Rose... Rose!
(To the boss) I am so sorry
The man:
Teenagers are different nowadays...
Mike:
How right you are! (pourquoi au prétérit? si c'est au prétérit c'est 'were' à cause de l'accord avec 'you')
I am very worried!
Réponse: Ma pièce à corriger de sonibrit, postée le 16-07-2005 à 23:39:18 (S | E)
Merci jardin62, d'être présente à la correction.
Réponse: correstion de sonibrit, postée le 19-07-2005 à 16:20:23 (S | E)
bonjour à tous purriez vous me corriger et surtout essayez de m'expliquer pourquoi. Merci
Scene VII:
It’s 10 am. Rose is (en cours d’histoire).
Mrs Brown : Today, you present me your expositions. All right,
Who wants to begin? (Nobody asks her).Nobody, I
Take at random...Rose!(Rose is dreaming)Miss Rose!
Rose: Sorry, I have just thought...
Mrs Brown: (She interrupts her) You would say you were dreamt.
Have you prepared your exposition?
Rose: My what?...Oh, I don’t.
Mrs Brown: What? Expositions are for today. I think you’re not
In the world Rose. Your results droped. At the end
Of time, I wish you see.
Rose: I couldn’t, I have to...
Mrs Brown: Ok then!
Rachel and Mary-Kate are looking at with a strange look for their friend Rose.
Mrs Brown
she seems to be angry of Rose) Rachel and Mary-kate, go by please.
It’s quarter past ten (10h45), the bell is going to ring.
Rachel: So this Country has a big culture.
Mrs Brown: Thank you. Your exposition is excellent. You can
Sit down.Well,for the next time there will have a
Test about their exposition.
Pupils: Oh no...What....It’s impossible....
Mrs Brown: Don’t say “Oh No...” everytime otherwise you’ll
Have two tests.
The bell is ringing. Rose is trying to escape dus to her teacher.
Mrs Brown: Rose, come on please. (Rose returns at the same
Time Mrs Brown stands up on the chair) What’s
Happening Rose? Have you a problem?
Rose: No Mrs Brown.
Mrs brown: Could I help you?
Rose: I needn’t your help. I’m right. What about my results,
Don’t worried. I’ll make up. I promise.
Mrs Brown: I hope but the problem it’s not this. I have just
Wanted to say you that you are not the same this
Time.
Rose: I’m so sorry but I have to go. Goodbye. 5she goes out)
Mrs Brown: Goodbye.
-------------------
Edité par bridg le 19-07-2005 16:26
Avez vous compris que vous aviez un sujet déjà en cours, je pase mon temps à vous déplacer
Merci de faire un effort!Réponse: Ma pièce à corriger de sonibrit, postée le 23-07-2005 à 14:42:34 (S | E)
bonjour à tous j'attends la correction
Réponse: Ma pièce à corriger de flo037, postée le 23-07-2005 à 14:50:51 (S | E)
Hi,
To have his breakfast.
Réponse: correction de sonibrit, postée le 02-09-2005 à 10:58:13 (S | E)
bonjour à tous et bonne rentrée, pourriez vous me corriger et me dire pourquoi est-ce faut? Merci.
Scene VIII:
Rose runs to bring her sister back because she’s late. Jinny is waiting for her on the sidewalk.
Rose: (at Jinny) I’m sorry, I had an obstacle. You’re well.
What’s happening? Why are you trembling?
Jinny: I believed that you gave me up.
Rose: Why are you telling that? You know we can’t do a thing
Same.
Jinny: In my class, a girl told methis evening, nobody is
Going to bring me backand I will stay an orphan.
Rose: What!? She’s crazy...(She’s loog at her sister)All
Right, forget what she said this girl but the next
Time you don’t listen these stupid things!(Jinny is
Nodding “yes” with her head).
Rose: Now, we have to go.(the two sisters are walking)
Jinny: Rose,...Can I tell you something?
Rose: What do you want telling me?
Jinny: Sometimes you think about Dad and Mum?
Rose: (She hesittes) Yes!
Jinny: Do you thing they could come back?
Rose: (She stops, she looks at her sister with sadness)
Do you remember before did you tell? It’s destiny.
You have to accept what happens in the world, you
Can’t change nothing.(She gets up to walk).
Jinny: Does Mike dinner with us?
Rose: No, he has much work.
Jinny: ...I miss Mike...I cannot see him always.
Rose is listening what her sister’s saying then a boy is wearing roller skates. He’s skating at top speed suddenly he falls Rose so she faints. Jinny is worried.
Jinny: Rose ...Rose...
Scott: Miss can you hear me? (he takes his portable to call
ambulance)Hello! There are an accident, you must
hurry...She has fainted.
Réponse: Ma pièce à corriger de jardin62, postée le 05-09-2005 à 20:27:42 (S | E)
Bonsoir.
Si seulement c'était moins long...
Je vais essayer d'avancer un peu.
Scène VIII
Rose is running : she has to take her sister back home and she is late. Jinny is waiting for her on the sidewalk.
Rose (to Jinny) :
I am sorry for being late, it's not my fault (Vous ne pouvez employer un langage artificiel pour parler à une petite fille). You are well, aren't you ? What's happening ? Why are you so upset ? (vocabulaire)
Jinny :
I thought you had forgotten me.
Rose :
Why are you saying that ? You know I couldn't do such a thing, don't you ?
Jinny :
A girl in my class told me this afternoon that nobody was going to come for me and that I would stay alone forever.
Rose :
What ? She's crazy !
(Looking at her sister)
All right, forget it. Next time don't listen to stupid things like these, OK ?
(Jinny nods)
Rose :
Now, we have to go.
(They are walking together)
Jinny :
Rose, can I ask you something?
Rose :
Of course, you can.
What is it?
Jinny :
Do you sometimes think about Dad and Mum ?
Rose (hesitating) :
Er...yes...of course.
Jinny :
Do you think they will come back ?
Rose:
(She stops walking and looks at her sister with sadness)
Jinny, do you remember what I have told you one day?
It's fate. You have to accept what happens, you can't change things.
(She stands up)
(After a while)
Jinny:
Will Mike have dinner with us ?
Rose :
No, he won't, he is too busy.
Jinny:
...I miss Mike...
I don't often see him.
(While Rose is listening to her sister a boy is rollerskating at high speed and knocks her down. She falls down unconscious).
Jinny (screaming):
Rose ! Rose !
Scott:
Miss ! Miss !
Can you hear me ?
( He uses his mobile and calls an ambulance)
Hello ? An accident here ! Hurry please! The girl has fainted.
............................................................
Désolée, manquant de temps je ne vous ai pas donné d'explication : je pense que vous ferez des recherches par vous-même ?
C'est le même problème que depuis le début vous savez, vous traduisez ce que vous avez écrit en français, et cela donne beaucoup de phrases non-anglaises. C'est bien difficile, n'est-ce pas?
Il faudrait consulter un dictionnaire 'épais' et passer du français à l'anglais, puis de l'anglais au français et même prendre un dictionnaire unilingue...
Bon courage.
Réponse: Ma pièce à corriger de younes1, postée le 10-09-2005 à 17:13:55 (S | E)
Scene I :
The scene took place in Rose’s room.
As the alarm clock rang Rose woke up.Before she went down to take her breakfast She prepared to go out with her friend. .
The second scene took place in the kitchen.
(Jinny in her arms).
Mike: Rose,are you here? I must take your sister to the
nursery school. Can you please take out the garbage before you leave.
Rose: Yes ( hesitating )hm...Mike,
I will return home at 8 pm.
Mike:I’m so sorry but you can’t because you have to go to look for
Your sister at half past five .Besides,I have
An important meeting.
Rose: ...Please, it’s urgent!
Mike: after all, where are you going?
Rose: Why do you want to know ?
Mike:In your opinion...
Rose: (interrupting )
I have understood...you don’t trust me.
Mike:Let me finish please...
Rose: (interrupting) you always say me this.
(then she went to the kitchen)
Mike: Wait...(looking at Jinny )
Jinny: Is she irritated?
Mike: No, she’s just sad?
La suite sera pour demain.
See you tomorrow.
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Edité par younes1 le 10-09-2005 17:14
Réponse: Ma pièce à corriger de younes1, postée le 10-09-2005 à 17:38:10 (S | E)
Scene II:
At school. As she was near her classroom she saw her friends:Mary-Kate and Rachel.
Rose
looking sad ) Hi girls .Mary-kate/Rachel: Hi!
Mary-Kate: Well, are you coming to the Matt’s party this evening?
Rose: No, I can’t because I must go look for my sister.
Rachel: But you said that you are free today.
Rose: Yes, I know .But it’s not my fault.
Rachel: I think that you don't take care of yourself any more .
.
Mary-Kate: She’s right, You seem not interested.Your results are lower, you no longer speak
with any one.What has happened to you?
Rose: I don’t know...I...I’m just perturbed.
Rachel: If you need any help just say it.We are your friends.
Rose: Thank you. (she leaves)
Mary-kate: I hope that she is not in trouble.
Rachel: Don’t worry, she’s well.
Mary-Kate: I hope so.
Rachel: Well, we have to go now.
Mary-Kate: but we have just arrived.
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INDISPENSABLES : 