Public Transport/help

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Public Transport/help
Message from abdul posted on 22-01-2018 at 06:24:48 (D | E | F)
Hello,
Please proofread my text.
Thanks for any reply.

In my city area bus transportation is a big problem. When I did not have my own transport, I used buses. In my living area has only one bus run from my home and I need to pick 2nd bus in mid of my route to office. And 1st bus came very late often and it took stop at many places; usually it was time wasting. If I went to office by car with my friend then I reached office within 20 minutes but when I went through bus I reached at office approximate one hour and face lot of difficulties and I need to change 2 buses and the 2nd bus is full of passenger I feel difficult to stand on it and sometimes I feel pocket thief took my mobile phone and my money and it is very common here in buses. Today I read in newspaper, the authority of my country invested for new buses system and this new infrastructure work has started in Feb 2016 and committed to complete in Feb-2017 but it is still not complete and its date has revised to mid-2018. And the project estimated cost is approx. 16 billion rupees and now it has also revised to 24 billion rupees. Hope it will complete at earliest and helpful for other passengers.

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Edited by lucile83 on 22-01-2018 08:09

Re: Public Transport/help from dsmith, posted on 22-01-2018 at 16:47:16 (D | E)
Hello,

Here are some suggestions:

In my living area has only one bus run

-> In my living area there is... or My living area has only...

I need to pick 2nd bus in mid of my route to office

-> you take a bus or you get on a bus ...pick is not the correct word.
-> in the middle of
-> you need the definite article "the" before office or possessive pronoun "my".

And 1st bus came very late often

-> never start a sentence with And. The first bus came late often...

it took stop at many places

-> busses don't "take stops" they "make stops" or simply "stop" it made stops or it stopped ...

If I went to office...then I reached office...I reached at office...

-> you need "the" or "my" before office
-> remove "at" To reach at something is with your hands or arms...you simply reached the office or you arrived at the office.

when I went through bus

-> you go by bus or you go on the bus...not "through" bus

I reached at office approximate one hour

-> in approximately one hour...to show a duration you would say "it took one hour" or I reached the office in one hour.

I feel pocket thief took my mobile phone and my money

-> a pickpocket
-> this would be the past tense...I felt or I had a pickpocket take ...

Today I read in newspaper

-> you need the definite article "the" before newspaper

invested for new buses system

-> you invest in something
-> they can invest in new buses or in a new bus system.

its date has revised... it has also revised

-> Something doesn't revise...it is revised...it was revised (by someone) or it has been revised or it has been changed...etc.
-> a person can revise a date or a cost estimate...otherwise use the passive form.

Good luck!

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