A short writing/help

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A short writing/help
Message de hicham15 posté le 31-01-2018 à 17:09:36 (S | E | F)
Hello everybody
I wrote a short paragraph in order to improve my English skills. So, I am asking you for a correction

Study plan is an organised schedule that can be made by a student wishing benefit from his time the most possible. With this in mind, students can control their time thanks to study plan. In the first place, it allows students to have determined goals, consequently ; they focus more on what they study. By the same token, it help to distribute time between subjects fairly so that no subject will be ignored. Another key point, study plan balance studying and social life that is to say ; students with study plan find themselves studying and enjoying life with family and friends. One point, often overlooked, is that life may come up with a surprise() during the day, so always await for what is out of the blue, then, the study plan doesn't work for this reason it shouldn't be followed.

Thanks in advance.
Hope you enjoyed reading.
Have a good day

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Edited by lucile83 on 31-01-2018 18:16

Réponse : A short writing/help de hicham15, postée le 01-02-2018 à 16:09:32 (S | E)
any one, please ?

Réponse : A short writing/help de dsmith, postée le 01-02-2018 à 16:51:05 (S | E)
Hello,
Here are some suggestions.

-> Study plan is...
You need the indefinate article, possive pronoun or definite article infront of "study plan". "A study plan is..." and throughout the paragraph. ...thanks to a study plan... or ...thanks to their study plan." The last sentence you did it correctly "...the study plan doesn't work..."

Each student has their own study plan so the indefinate article seems more appropriate. But talking about the general concept of a study plan "the" could also be used.

-> by a student wishing benefit from...
when wishing is followed by a verb you need "to" "wishing to benefit"

-> it help
incorrect conjugation

-> study plan balance
incorrect conjugation of balance

-> and social life that is to say;...

you need punctuation after social life and no punctuation after "say"
Lien internet

->surprise()
remove the ()

-> so always await for what is out of the blue
maybe better: so always be ready for something out of the blue...

->then, the study plan...
you need the word "if" then, if the study plan...

I hope these suggestions help you.

Réponse : A short writing/help de hicham15, postée le 02-02-2018 à 23:58:55 (S | E)
Thank you so much. I tried to correct what you have mentioned
here it is :

A study plan is an organised schedule that can be made by a student wishing to benefit from his time the most possible. With this in mind, students can control their time thanks to their study plan. In the first place, it allows students to have determined goals, consequently ; they focus more on what they study. By the same token, it helps to distribute time between subjects fairly so that no subject will be ignored. Another key point,a study plan balances studying and social life, that is to say students with study plan find themselves studying and enjoying life with family and friends. One point, often overlooked, is that life may come up with a surprise during the day, so always be ready for something out of the blue,if then, the study plan doesn't work for this reason it shouldn't be followed.

thanks again
HAVE A GOOD DAY

Réponse : A short writing/help de dsmith, postée le 03-02-2018 à 00:58:59 (S | E)
Hello,

A study plan is an organised schedule that can be made by a student wishing to benefit from his time the most possible. With this in mind, students can control their time thanks to their study plan. In the first place, it allows students to have determined goals, consequently ; they focus more on what they study. By the same token, it helps to distribute time between subjects fairly so that no subject will be ignored. Another key point,a study plan balances studying and social life, that is to say students with study plan find themselves studying and enjoying life with family and friends. One point, often overlooked, is that life may come up with a surprise during the day, so always be ready for something out of the blue,if then, the study plan doesn't work for this reason it shouldn't be followed.

-> from his time the most possible
change word order. benefit the most possible from his time.

-> students with study plan
ajouter l'article indefinit (a study plan)

-> if then,

word order...for something out of the blue, then, if the study plan doesn't ...
c'est la même en français je crois. puis, si le planning ne marche pas...

Réponse : A short writing/help de hicham15, postée le 03-02-2018 à 01:18:56 (S | E)
HELLO
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

A study plan is an organised schedule that can be made by a student wishing to benefit the most possible from his time. With this in mind, students can control their time thanks to their study plan. In the first place, it allows students to have determined goals, consequently ; they focus more on what they study. By the same token, it helps to distribute time between subjects fairly so that no subject will be ignored. Another key point,a study plan balances studying and social life, that is to say students with a study plan find themselves studying and enjoying life with family and friends. One point, often overlooked, is that life may come up with a surprise during the day, so always be ready for something out of the blue, then, if the study plan doesn't work for this reason it shouldn't be followed.

HAVE A GREAT DAY

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