Lettre/ motivation

Lettre/ motivation
Message de tamtam78 posté le 27-02-2018 à 17:25:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Bien que que mon niveau d'anglais soit médiocre, j'ai essayé de faire une lettre de motivation du mieux que j'ai pu.
Pouvez-vous corriger et/ou modifier s'il vous plait.
Je vous remercie, c'est sympathique de votre part !

voici ma lettre de motivation:
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a student, currently in forth year engineering school at ESIEA Paris I.T Engineering School. I saw your website, I am impressed and very enthusiastic about join your company for four months internship.

During my school studies, I have carried out many projects, such as programming a racing game, developing a web application or modeling in 3D a memorial site. To validate my University Diploma in Technology I did an internship in a hospital, I had to work with several technical departments to supervise the temperature of the sanitary hot water of the Hospital,
The success of these projects is due to my determination, my adaptability and my hardworking, that allowed me to evolve and acquire experiences such as time and team management.
Also, I am an open-minded person, I like challenges and I have good interpersonal skills

Furthermore, I am very keen to work in the development of an application field because I like to innovate and to find new ideas. That's why working with you is a great opportunity for me to discover and learn new things for my future career.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any more information, I am available at any time to answer any questions you may have. Thank you for your time and consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you.


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Modifié par lucile83 le 27-02-2018 17:58

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Réponse : Lettre/ motivation de nehel, postée le 27-02-2018 à 18:16:44 (S | E)
Bonjour.
Voici une première ébauche de correction ; attendez toutefois d'autres avis, je n'ai peut-être pas remarqué certaines erreurs.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am a student, currently in forth year engineering school at ESIEA Paris I.T Engineering School. I saw your website, I am impressed and very enthusiastic about join (gerund) your company for four months' (apostrophe) internship.

During my school studies, I have carried out many projects, such as programming a racing game, developing a web application or modeling in 3D a memorial site. To validate my University Diploma in Technology, I did an internship in a hospital, I had to work with several technical departments to supervise the temperature of the sanitary hot water of the Hospital.
The success of these projects is due to my determination, my adaptability and my hardworking (the noun is missing), that allowed me to evolve and acquire some experiences such as both time and team management.
Also, I am an open-minded person, I like challenges and I have good interpersonal skills.

Furthermore, I am very keen to work in the development of an application field because I like to innovate and to find some new ideas. That's (try to avoid contractions in formal letters) why working with you is (tense) a great opportunity for me to both discover and learn new things for my future career.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any more information, I am available at any time to answer any questions you may have. Thank you for your time and consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

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Réponse : Lettre/ motivation de tamtam78, postée le 27-02-2018 à 18:27:52 (S | E)
RE, merci pour votre correction, j'ai fait les modifications, qu'en pensez vous ?


I am a student, currently in forth year engineering school at ESIEA Paris I.T Engineering School. I saw your website, I am impressed and very enthusiastic about joining your company for four months' internship.

During my school studies, I have carried out many projects, such as programming a racing game, developing a web application or modeling in 3D a memorial site. To validate my University Diploma in Technology, I did an internship in a hospital, I had to work with several technical departments to supervise the temperature of the sanitary hot water of the Hospital.
The success of these projects is due to my determination, my adaptability and my hard working, that allowed me to evolve and acquire some experiences such as both time and team management.
Also, I am an open-minded person, I like challenges and I have good interpersonal skills.

Furthermore, I am very keen to work in the development of an application field because I like to innovate and to find some new ideas. That is why working with you will be a great opportunity for me to both discover and learn new things for my future career.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any more information, I am available at any time to answer any questions you may have. Thank you for your time and consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

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