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Message de vardaf posté le 02-04-2018 à 14:55:06 (S | E | F)
Hello
is it correct please?
Thank you for your attention.
Hello, my name is B.F, I'm in a two year technical degree. I'm in the last year and I have practised two interns. I 'll present you my second intership in the factory "IPS". This factory is situated in Annemasse. They produce one tonne by a day of soldering powder.
I was in charge of mantaining the system that transforms solid metal to soldering powder. To make this transfomation, the factory uses boiler who heats the metal and after the liquid metal is shaked to make powder.
Evry day, I had to control electric system and I was given the opportunity to make a part of a computer program to upgrade the system.
I was satisfied because I worked independently, I could fit into a good work team. And I could put into practice what I have learned at school.
But I was disappointed by different things, for exemple I worked all the month in-door at the same place.
Next year I'm going to continue my studies in a licence in renewable energy. Because this energy is shooting up, The city of Geneva would be self efficient in thermal energy by two thousand fifty. So they must to develop this type of energy.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 02-04-2018 15:32
Message de vardaf posté le 02-04-2018 à 14:55:06 (S | E | F)
Hello
is it correct please?
Thank you for your attention.
Hello, my name is B.F, I'm in a two year technical degree. I'm in the last year and I have practised two interns. I 'll present you my second intership in the factory "IPS". This factory is situated in Annemasse. They produce one tonne by a day of soldering powder.
I was in charge of mantaining the system that transforms solid metal to soldering powder. To make this transfomation, the factory uses boiler who heats the metal and after the liquid metal is shaked to make powder.
Evry day, I had to control electric system and I was given the opportunity to make a part of a computer program to upgrade the system.
I was satisfied because I worked independently, I could fit into a good work team. And I could put into practice what I have learned at school.
But I was disappointed by different things, for exemple I worked all the month in-door at the same place.
Next year I'm going to continue my studies in a licence in renewable energy. Because this energy is shooting up, The city of Geneva would be self efficient in thermal energy by two thousand fifty. So they must to develop this type of energy.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 02-04-2018 15:32
Réponse : Internship report/help de gerondif, postée le 03-04-2018 à 14:20:44 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu
Hello, my name is B.F, I'm in a two year technical degree. ( ne se dit pas, vous n'êtes pas "dans" un diplôme.Il faudrait dire: I have been working/studying for two years to take (passer)/ to pass/to get (obtenir) a technical degree) I'm in the last year and I have practised two interns(vous avez pratiqué deux internes/stagiaires ? Que leur avez-vous fait ?
). I 'll present to you my second intership in the factory "IPS". This factory is situated in Annemasse. They produce one tonne (orthographe française) I was in charge of mantaining the system that transforms solid metal into soldering powder. To make this transfomation, the factory uses boilers who(who a un antécédent humain, which ou that un antécédent objet) heats the metal and after(after tout seul n'est pas conseillé, soit after that, soit then) the liquid metal is shaked to make powder.
Evry(orthographe) day, I had to control the electrical system and I was given the opportunity to make a part of a computer program to upgrade the system.
I was satisfied because I worked independently, I could fit into a good work team. And I could put into practice what I have(plutôt had) learned at school.
But I was disappointed (with)by different things, for exemple (orthographe française) I worked all the month in-door at the same place.(un peu maladroit, français traduit, on pourrait dire: je n'ai rien fait d'autre que.... I did nothing else but work for a whole month inside the factory doing the same job at the same place)
Next year I'm going to continue my studies in(doing) a licence(est sans doute le mot français licence, a licence est en anglais une autorisation, un permis) in renewable energy. Because this energy is shooting up, The city of Geneva would(plutôt should be, conditionnel de prédiction, devrait être indépendante en...) be self efficient (plutôt self sufficient, autonome, auto suffisante) in thermal energy by two thousand and fifty. So they must to(pas d'infinitif complet derrière must) develop this type of energy.(pourquoi infliger à Genève un must d'obligation, ou un must de quasi certitude ? Essayez la structure ferait mieux de...modèle: I had better hurry up !)
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