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Message de arnaud85 posté le 15-05-2018 à 14:53:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous, comme beaucoup de personnes sur ce forum, je recherche une correction pour ma notion pour le bac. Je suis preneur de toute remarque ou reformulation de mes phrases. Je vous remercie d'avance.
Today, I am going to deal with the notion of the idea of progress, which can be defined as a change or a development, this change can be social, technical or scientific, the progress is supposed to make the society better.
To illustrate this notion I want to talk about a theme where the progress is not positive. I am going to talk about the obesity in USA. Indeed the obesity can be seen like a progress because it is a change of the consummation of the Americans, so it is a social change. Obesity is a condition characterized by the excessive accumulation and storage of fat in the body. How the obesity become something normal in American society, and what the government try to organized to fight it?
First, I will reflect on the consumer society, which push peoples to have more, consume more.
Then I will talk about the effect on the health.
Finally I will the government program against obesity.
We can see the importance of consuption with the number of restaurant with unlimited food, for example the Charles Southern Kitchen. The place is very attractive because it’s cheap, so the restaurant is more interesting for modest family, the obesity can also have a link with social class. In this type of restaurant the drinks are unlimited too. This an unique price for all the food you ask for so people want to consume more and more. In lots of restaurant you have some challenge like eat gigantic dish, for example hamburger with lots of floors, you have to finish it in a given time, if you win, it’s free. So in US we can see a value of consommation and the gain for people to increase it.
Now I will talk about health part. 2/3 of Americans are consider in overweight or obesity. The proportion is more important in the south, where the food is more frie and the population is porrest. The impact of food is increase by the miss of exercice. On a famous photo we see someone who walking his dog in his car. The junk food is present everywhere like in the school canteen. According to the Publichealth for the first time in history, the actual generation will live shorter than the one before. The principal helath problems are : Diabetes, Cancer, Depression…
To fight against obesity the government starts the movement let’s move with Obama family. This program is supposed to make the advertising for the vegetables and sports. The Obama family invited children to the White House to cultivate vegetables and make some exercise with Michelle Obama. In class, we studied about a TV show: "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution", the British's chef goes to the city considered like the unhealthiest in USA to change the school canteen menu. Make discover to childrens the vegetables, we see in the TV show lots of children unable to recognize them.
To Conclude we can see obesity is a national problem in US, population is pushed to consume. This can be illustrate in the unlimited food in restaurant, the fast-food or the school canteen menu. This food habits can cause lots of health problems. Against this danger, government create programms to improve the american consumption, and encourage everybody to make exercice.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-05-2018 06:14
Message de arnaud85 posté le 15-05-2018 à 14:53:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous, comme beaucoup de personnes sur ce forum, je recherche une correction pour ma notion pour le bac. Je suis preneur de toute remarque ou reformulation de mes phrases. Je vous remercie d'avance.
Today, I am going to deal with the notion of the idea of progress, which can be defined as a change or a development, this change can be social, technical or scientific, the progress is supposed to make the society better.
To illustrate this notion I want to talk about a theme where the progress is not positive. I am going to talk about the obesity in USA. Indeed the obesity can be seen like a progress because it is a change of the consummation of the Americans, so it is a social change. Obesity is a condition characterized by the excessive accumulation and storage of fat in the body. How the obesity become something normal in American society, and what the government try to organized to fight it?
First, I will reflect on the consumer society, which push peoples to have more, consume more.
Then I will talk about the effect on the health.
Finally I will the government program against obesity.
We can see the importance of consuption with the number of restaurant with unlimited food, for example the Charles Southern Kitchen. The place is very attractive because it’s cheap, so the restaurant is more interesting for modest family, the obesity can also have a link with social class. In this type of restaurant the drinks are unlimited too. This an unique price for all the food you ask for so people want to consume more and more. In lots of restaurant you have some challenge like eat gigantic dish, for example hamburger with lots of floors, you have to finish it in a given time, if you win, it’s free. So in US we can see a value of consommation and the gain for people to increase it.
Now I will talk about health part. 2/3 of Americans are consider in overweight or obesity. The proportion is more important in the south, where the food is more frie and the population is porrest. The impact of food is increase by the miss of exercice. On a famous photo we see someone who walking his dog in his car. The junk food is present everywhere like in the school canteen. According to the Publichealth for the first time in history, the actual generation will live shorter than the one before. The principal helath problems are : Diabetes, Cancer, Depression…
To fight against obesity the government starts the movement let’s move with Obama family. This program is supposed to make the advertising for the vegetables and sports. The Obama family invited children to the White House to cultivate vegetables and make some exercise with Michelle Obama. In class, we studied about a TV show: "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution", the British's chef goes to the city considered like the unhealthiest in USA to change the school canteen menu. Make discover to childrens the vegetables, we see in the TV show lots of children unable to recognize them.
To Conclude we can see obesity is a national problem in US, population is pushed to consume. This can be illustrate in the unlimited food in restaurant, the fast-food or the school canteen menu. This food habits can cause lots of health problems. Against this danger, government create programms to improve the american consumption, and encourage everybody to make exercice.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 16-05-2018 06:14
Réponse : Notion/Idea of progress de laure95, postée le 15-05-2018 à 15:08:03 (S | E)
Bonjour Arnaud,
- I want to talk about a theme where (pas le bon relatif) the progress is not positive.
- I am going to talk about the (pas de the) obesity in USA.
- the (pas de the) obesity can be seen
- consummation: ?
- How (il manque l'auxiliaire conjugué)the obesity become something normal in (article)American society,
- and what the government try to organized to fight it?: mal dit et mal construit, to + infinitif.
-First, I will reflect on the consumer society, which push (faute de conjugaison)peoples (pas de s)to have more,
- Then I will talk about the effect (mettre au pluriel) on the (pas de the)health.
Finally I will (où est le verbe?) the government program against obesity.
- consuption
- with the number of restaurant (pluriel) with unlimited food,
- for modest family (mettre au pluriel),
- the (pas de the) obesity can also have a link with (article)social class.
- This an (a pas un car le "u" se prononce ici "you") unique price
- In lots of restaurant (pluriel)you have some challenge (pluriel) like eat (gérondif) (article)gigantic dish,
- for example (article) hamburger with lots of floors,
- So in (article)US we can see a value of consommation
- Now I will talk about (article)health part.
- 2/3 of Americans are consider (participe passé)in overweight or obesity construire avec les adjectifs plutôt qu'avec les noms).
- the food is more frie
and the population is porrest (orthographe + ajouter the devant). - The impact of food is increase (participe passé) by the miss of exercice (orthographe)
- we (can)see someone who (auxiliaire conjugué ou alors enlève who) walking his dog in his car.
- The (pas de the) junk food is present everywhere
- like in the (pas de the) school canteen. (pluriel)
- helath
- the government starts: mettre au present perfect.
- the movement let’s move with (the)Obama family.
- This program is supposed to make the (pas de the)advertising for the (pas de the) vegetables and sports (singulier)
- in (article)USA
- Make discover to childrens: mal construit + pas de s à children)
- we (can) see in the TV show lots of children unable to recognize them
- in (article)US,(article) population is pushed to consume.
- This can be illustrate (participe passé) in the unlimited food in restaurant (pluriel), the (pas de the) fast-food (restaurants)
- (article) government create (present perfect) programms to improve the american (majuscule) consumption
- exercice: orthographe.
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