Correction/La Fille Du Train 2

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Correction/La Fille Du Train 2
Message de vaiana posté le 30-08-2018 à 00:53:36 (S | E | F)
Bonjour.
J'ai fait un petit thème, pouvez-vous y jeter un coup d'œil s'il vous plaît ?

Je regardais Tom se préparer pour le travail ce matin, mettre sa chemise et sa cravate. Il semblait un peu distrait, il devait songer à son emploi du temps de la journée – les réunions, les rendez-vous, qui, quand, où. Et j’étais jalouse. Pour la toute première fois, je lui enviais le luxe de devoir s’habiller correctement et quitter la maison pour s’affairer çà et là avec un but précis et la promesse d’un salaire.
Ce n’est pas le travail en lui-même qui me manque. J’étais agent immobilier, pas neurochirurgienne, ce n’est pas vraiment le genre de boulot dont on rêve, gamine. Ce que j’aimais, c’était déambuler dans les demeures très chères en l’absence des propriétaires, faire courir mes doigts sur les plans de travail en marbre, jeter un coup d’œil dans les immenses dressings. J’imaginais ce que serait ma vie si j’habitais là, je me demandais quel genre de personne je serais. Je suis bien consciente qu’il n’existe pas travail plus important que d’élever un enfant, mais, le problème, c’est que ce n’est pas un travail valorisé. En tout cas, pas au sens qui m’importe en ce moment : le sens financier. Je veux que nous ayons plus d’argent pour pouvoir quitter cette maison, cette rue. C’est aussi simple que ça.
Peut-être pas si simple que ça, à y réfléchir. Quand Tom est parti au travail, je me suis assise à la table de la cuisine pour entamer le combat quotidien qu’est le petit déjeuner d’Evie. Il y a deux mois, elle mangeait de tout, rien à dire. Maintenant, elle n’accepte rien d’autre qu’un yaourt à la fraise. Je sais que c’est normal.
La Fille Du Train, Paula Hawking, Édition Française.

I looked at Tom getting ready for work that very morning, putting his shirt and his tie. He seemed to be a little discreet, he must has been thinking about his day's schedule – meetings, rendezvous, who, when, where. And I was jealous. For the very first time, I envied him being able to be properly dressed and leave the house in order to busy himself here and there with an accurate aim and the promise of a wage.
I don't miss work in itself. I was a realtor/estate agent, not neurosurgeon, it is not really the work we dream about when we are child. What I liked was roaming about expensive abodes in owners' absence, made my fingers run on marble workbenches, took a pick in huge dressing rooms. I dreamt up what my life would be if I lived there, I wondered what kind of person I would be. I'm conscious about the fact it doesn't exist a more important job than bring a child up but the issue is that is it not really an increased job. Anyway, not in the way that imports me at the moment: the finencial way. I want us to have more money in order to leave that house, that street. It is as easy as that.
Perhaps not as easy as that, need to be thought about. When Tom left at work, I sat down next the kitchen table to start the daily fight which is Evie's breakfast. She ate everything two months ago, nothing to say about that. Now, she doesn't accept anything else than a strawberry yoghurt. I know it is normal.

Merci pour vos réponses !
Et bonne rentrée !

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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-08-2018 08:42

Réponse : Correction/La Fille Du Train 2 de gerondif, postée le 30-08-2018 à 17:09:16 (S | E)
Bonjour
Le prétérit se traduit par un passé simple ou passé composé pour les verbes d'action.
When I heard the noise, I looked up : Lorsque j'entendis (j'ai entendu) du bruit, je levai (j'ai levé) les yeux.
Impossible donc de traduire je regardais par I looked, ce sera, I was looking, I was watching.
Le prétérit des verbes d'état ou d'état d'esprit peut se traduire par un imparfait .
He looked angry, il avait l'air en colère.
Lisez bien votre texte, distrait et discret, ce n'est pas pareil.
Comprenez bien les verbes : devoir, ce n'est pas be able to, être capable de, donc pouvoir, c'est have to, avoir à, être obligé de, donc devoir.

erreurs en bleu
I looked at Tom getting ready for work that very(pourquoi insister ?) morning, putting on his shirt and his tie. He seemed to be a little discreet, he must has been thinking(he must HAVE been thinking signifie il a dû penser, c'est un cran trop haut dans le passé, ici, he was probably thinking...suffirait) about his day's schedule – meetings, rendezvous, who, when, where. And I was jealous. For the very first time, I envied him being able to be properly dressed and leave the house in order to busy himself here and there with an accurate aim and the promise of a wage (wages est souvent au pluriel, a salary est au singulier).
I don't miss work in itself. I was a realtor/ a real-estate agent, not a neurosurgeon, it is not really the (le genre de n'a pas été traduit) work (travail ou métier?) we dream about when we are child(pluriel sans article ou singulier avec article). What I liked was roaming about expensive abodes(bien vieillot) in the owners' absence, made(dépend de like) my fingers run on marble workbenches, took(idem) a pick (pick ou peek?? il me semble que to take a pick,c'est choisir un échantillon) in huge dressing rooms. I dreamt up what my life would be like if I lived there, I wondered what kind of person I would be. I'm conscious about the fact it doesn't exist (oh là !! passez plutôt par "there is")a more important job than bring(gérondif, et up derrière bring sonne mieux) a child up but the issue is that is it not really an increased(signifie augmenté) job. Anyway, not in the way that imports(ne convient pas, c'est du français traduit) me at the moment: the finencial way. I want us to have more money in order to (pouvoir n'a pas été traduit) leave that house, that street. It is as easy as that.
Perhaps not as easy as that, need to be thought about(ne va pas). When Tom left at(quand on met at, on y est pour y faire quelque chose, I am at work, at home...) quand on y va, on met to I am going to work. Ici, I leave for work) work, I sat down next at the kitchen table to start the daily fight which (that) is Evie's breakfast. She ate (she used to eat irait bien ici) everything two months ago, nothing to say about that. Now, she doesn't accept anything else than (but) a strawberry yoghurt. I know it is normal.

Réponse : Correction/La Fille Du Train 2 de vaiana, postée le 31-08-2018 à 17:09:30 (S | E)
Hello. Thanks for helping me.

I was looking at Tom getting ready for work that morning, putting on his shirt and his tie. He seemed to be a little abstent-minded, he was probably thinking about his day's schedule – meetings, rendezvous (rendezvous convient ? je n'étais pas sûre du tout, je pensais que ce mot désignait les rendez-vous amoureux), who, when, where. And I was jealous. For the very first time, I envied him having to be properly dressed and leave the house in order to busy himself here and there with an accurate aim and the promise of wages/a salary.
I don't miss work in itself. I was a realtor/a real-estate agent, not a neurosurgeon, it is not really the kind of job we dream about when we are childs. What I liked was roaming about expensive abodes/houses in the (pourquoi "the" ?) owners' absence, make/making my fingers run on marble workbenches, take/taking a peek (je voulais mettre "peek", au temps pour moi selon Linguee, "take a peek" voudrait dire "faire son choix" Lien internet
) in huge dressing rooms. I dreamt up what my life would be like (là par contre je ne comprends pas du tout d'où ce like sort) if I lived there, I wondered what kind of person I would be. I'm conscious about the fact (il n'y aurait pas d'autres manières de traduire cette phrase, sans utiliser le "about the fact" ? j'ai tendance à trop utiliser cette structure en anglais, je ne sais pas si elle est courante) there is not a more important job than bringing up a child (pourrait on mettre "a child's upbringing" ?) but the issue is that is it not really an highlighted job. Anyway, not in the way that matters me at the moment: the finencial way. I want us to have more money in order to being able able leave that house, that street. It is as easy as that.
Perhaps not as easy as that, to be thought. When Tom left for work, I sat down at the kitchen table to start the daily fight which (that) is Evie's breakfast. She used to eat everything two months ago, nothing to say about that. Now, she doesn't accept anything else than (but) ("but" est dans le sens de "except" ?) a strawberry yoghurt. I know it is normal.

Have a good weekend!

Réponse : Correction/La Fille Du Train 2 de gerondif, postée le 31-08-2018 à 17:40:36 (S | E)
Bonjour
I was looking at Tom getting ready for work that morning, putting on his shirt and his tie. He seemed to be a little abstent-minded, he was probably thinking about his day's schedule – meetings, rendezvous (rendezvous convient ? je n'étais pas sûre du tout, je pensais que ce mot désignait les rendez-vous amoureux oui, c'est vrai, mettez appointments), who, when, where. And I was jealous. For the very first time, I envied him having to be properly dressed and leave the house in order to busy himself here and there with an accurate aim and the promise of wages/a salary.
I don't miss work in itself. I was a realtor/a real-estate agent, not a neurosurgeon, it is not really the kind of job we dream about when we are childs(aïe! pluriel irrégulier!) . What I liked was roaming about expensive abodes/houses in the (pourquoi "the" ?) owners' absence, make/making my fingers run on marble workbenches, take/taking a peek (je voulais mettre "peek", au temps pour moi selon Linguee, "take a peek" voudrait dire "faire son choix" au sens de jeter un oeil, oui) in huge dressing rooms. I dreamt up what my life would be like (là par contre je ne comprends pas du tout d'où ce like sort. Bizarre comme il vous manque les structures de base parfois. On apprend assez vite le différence entre How is he ? He is fine. et What is he like ? Comment est-il ? Quelle tronche at-t-il ? He is tall and thin. Idem pour what does he look like ? A quoi ressemble-t-il ?) if I lived there, I wondered what kind of person I would be. I'm conscious about the fact (il n'y aurait pas d'autres manières de traduire cette phrase, sans utiliser le "about the fact" ? j'ai tendance à trop utiliser cette structure en anglais, je ne sais pas si elle est courante; I know perfectly well that, I readily agree that, I fully realize that) there is not a more (ou there is NO more important job than) important job than bringing up a child (pourrait-on mettre "a child's upbringing" à mon avis non parce que vous cherchez une action à mettre en définition pour job) but the issue is that is it not really an(h aspiré) highlighted job. Anyway, not in the way that matters to me at the moment: the finencial(orthographe) way. I want us to have more money (in order) to being(base verbale) able to leave that house, that street. It is as easy as that.
Perhaps not as easy as that, to be thought(ne va pas, on dit "come to think of it"). When Tom left for work, I sat down at the kitchen table to start the daily fight which (that) is Evie's breakfast. She used to eat everything two months ago, nothing to say about that (there was no complaining about that). Now, she doesn't accept anything else than (but) ("but" est dans le sens de "except" ? oui) a strawberry yoghurt. I know it is normal.

Réponse : Correction/La Fille Du Train 2 de vaiana, postée le 01-09-2018 à 01:55:00 (S | E)
Thanks.

I was looking at Tom getting ready for work that morning, putting on his shirt and his tie. He seemed to be a little abstent-minded, he was probably thinking about his day's schedule – meetings, appointments, who, when, where. And I was jealous. For the very first time, I envied him having to be properly dressed and leave the house in order to busy himself here and there with an accurate aim and the promise of wages/a salary.
I don't miss work in itself. I was a realtor/a real-estate agent, not a neurosurgeon, it is not really the kind of job we dream about when we are child. What I liked was roaming about expensive abodes/houses in the owners' absence, make/making my fingers run on marble workbenches, take/taking a peek in huge dressing rooms. I dreamt up what my life would be like if I lived there, I wondered what kind of person I would be. I'm conscious about the fact there is no(t a) more important job than bringing up a child but the issue is that is it not really a highlighted job. Anyway, not in the way that matters to me at the moment: the financial way. I want us to have more money (in order) to be able to leave that house, that street. It is as easy as that.
Perhaps not as easy as that, come to think of it. When Tom left for work, I sat down at the kitchen table to start the daily fight which (that) is Evie's breakfast. She used to eat everything two months ago, there was no complaining about that. Now, she doesn't accept anything else than but a strawberry yoghurt. I know it is normal.

Réponse : Correction/La Fille Du Train 2 de gerondif, postée le 01-09-2018 à 17:11:55 (S | E)
Bonjour
I was looking at Tom getting ready for work that morning, putting on his shirt and his tie. He seemed to be a little abstent-minded, he was probably thinking about his day's schedule – meetings, appointments, who, when, where. And I was jealous. For the very first time, I envied him having to be properly dressed and leave(ing) the house in order to busy himself here and there with an accurate aim and the promise of wages/a salary.
I don't miss work in itself. I was a realtor/a real-estate agent, not a neurosurgeon, it is not really the kind of job we dream about when we are child(children). What I liked was roaming about expensive abodes/houses in the owners' absence, ~~make~~/making my fingers run on marble workbenches, ~~take~~/taking a peek in huge dressing rooms. I dreamt up what my life would be like if I lived there, I wondered what kind of person I would be. I'm conscious about the fact I am well aware that est plus léger) there is no(t a) more important job than bringing up a child but the issue is that is it not really a highlighted job. Anyway, not in the way that matters to me at the moment: the financial way. I want us to have more money (in order) to be able to leave that house, that street. It is as easy as that.
Perhaps not as easy as that, come to think of it. When Tom left for work, I sat down at the kitchen table to start the daily fight which (that) is Evie's breakfast. She used to eat everything two months ago, there was no complaining about that. Now, she doesn't accept anything else than but(un seul des deux va suffire) a strawberry yoghurt. I know it is normal.

Réponse : Correction/La Fille Du Train 2 de vaiana, postée le 01-09-2018 à 19:34:22 (S | E)
Bonjour,

I was looking at Tom getting ready for work that morning, putting on his shirt and his tie. He seemed to be a little absent-minded, he was probably thinking about his day's schedule – meetings, appointments, who, when, where. And I was jealous. For the very first time, I envied him having to be properly dressed and leaveing the house in order to busy himself here and there with an accurate aim and the promise of wages/a salary.
I don't miss work in itself. I was a realtor/a real-estate agent, not a neurosurgeon, it is not really the kind of job we dream about when we are children. What I liked was roaming about expensive abodes/houses in the owners' absence, making my fingers run on marble workbenches, taking (pourtant il n'est pas considéré comme faux d'utiliser un infinitif après les verbes comme to love, to like, to abhor, si ?) a peek in huge dressing rooms. I dreamt up what my life would be like if I lived there, I wondered what kind of person I would be. I am well aware that there is no(t a) more important job than bringing up a child but the issue is that is it not really a highlighted job. Anyway, not in the way that matters to me at the moment: the financial way. I want us to have more money (in order) to be able to leave that house, that street. It is as easy as that.
Perhaps not as easy as that, come to think of it. When Tom left for work, I sat down at the kitchen table to start the daily fight which (that) is Evie's breakfast. She used to eat everything two months ago, there was no complaining about that. Now, she doesn't accept anything else but a strawberry yoghurt. I know it is normal.

Réponse : Correction/La Fille Du Train 2 de gerondif, postée le 01-09-2018 à 19:58:00 (S | E)
Hello
You can't change horses in mid-stream ! Vous ne pouvez pas changer de construction en cours de route.
I like swimming, riding my bike, I love diving and free diving.
Mettre un infinitif derrière I love existe quand c'est un choix intellectuel: I love to help people when they are grateful.
ing implique une routine, une habitude si on veut, l'infinitif exprime un point de vue.
I love to teach in good conditions est un choix, parfois un rêve.
Donc, ici, on ne peut pas commencer par I love roaming et continuer à l'infinitif.

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