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Message de juja21 posté le 17-04-2019 à 22:16:15 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
Voilà mon deuxième texte que j'aimerais que vous m'aidiez à corriger.
Comme le précédent, je m'excuse à l'avance pour les (nombreuses) fautes commises et vous remercie de votre aide.
India has experienced unprecedented economic and digital growth over the past 20 years. India is thus described as an emerging country, in other words country whose economic situation is in the process of developing. So we can ask ourselves to what extent is India an emergency power? First, we will talk about the country's economic and social development. Then we will talk about the limits of India's progress.
First of all, since the early 2000s, the Indian economy has been booming. India is now a major global economic power that is fully integrated into globalization. The document « Changing India » talks about the impressive changes in India. According to the narrator, India, which was a rural and undeveloped country 10 years ago, has become a modern country with, for example, huge livestock farms like factories. The country has therefore modernised, the cities have become « high-tech cities » with skyscrapers. This economic development has led to the emergence of a middle class. The population, which once lived in extreme poverty, has seen its standard of living increase. Thus, it has become possible to prosper in India. This is explained in the document called « The Great Indian Dream";. Thus, Indians no longer need to immigrate to the United States to « climb the social ladder"; as was previously the case according to the American Dream. There are also more and more schools in India and therefore more and more young Indian graduates. India's thriving economy has therefore led to an improvement in the living conditions of Indians and has made the country prosperous.
However, even though India has made significant progress in many areas such as education and health, some traditions remain firmly rooted. This is the case of the « dowry » which is a sum of money that the bride's family must pay to her future husband. This tradition leads to abuse of women but also to gender selection. Indeed, many women prefer to abort or kill their babies if they are girls because Indians prefer to have a boy because they are the ones who keep the family name, work and inherit the land. On the other hand, for Indians, girls do not bring anything, quite the contrary, because it is even necessary to pay their dowry to their husband's family. Thus, according to the document « India's girls go missing » 600,000 Indian girls go missing every year. This is likely to be a problem for the country in the coming years as it will no longer have enough girls to have babies.
To conclude , India is now an emerging power with a very dynamic economy, which is leading to a modernization of the country. However, there are limits to India's development since some traditions such as dowry are still there. This tradition is a threat to the future Indian generation, which may lack women in the future.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 18-04-2019 08:26
Message de juja21 posté le 17-04-2019 à 22:16:15 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
Voilà mon deuxième texte que j'aimerais que vous m'aidiez à corriger.
Comme le précédent, je m'excuse à l'avance pour les (nombreuses) fautes commises et vous remercie de votre aide.
India has experienced unprecedented economic and digital growth over the past 20 years. India is thus described as an emerging country, in other words country whose economic situation is in the process of developing. So we can ask ourselves to what extent is India an emergency power? First, we will talk about the country's economic and social development. Then we will talk about the limits of India's progress.
First of all, since the early 2000s, the Indian economy has been booming. India is now a major global economic power that is fully integrated into globalization. The document « Changing India » talks about the impressive changes in India. According to the narrator, India, which was a rural and undeveloped country 10 years ago, has become a modern country with, for example, huge livestock farms like factories. The country has therefore modernised, the cities have become « high-tech cities » with skyscrapers. This economic development has led to the emergence of a middle class. The population, which once lived in extreme poverty, has seen its standard of living increase. Thus, it has become possible to prosper in India. This is explained in the document called « The Great Indian Dream";. Thus, Indians no longer need to immigrate to the United States to « climb the social ladder"; as was previously the case according to the American Dream. There are also more and more schools in India and therefore more and more young Indian graduates. India's thriving economy has therefore led to an improvement in the living conditions of Indians and has made the country prosperous.
However, even though India has made significant progress in many areas such as education and health, some traditions remain firmly rooted. This is the case of the « dowry » which is a sum of money that the bride's family must pay to her future husband. This tradition leads to abuse of women but also to gender selection. Indeed, many women prefer to abort or kill their babies if they are girls because Indians prefer to have a boy because they are the ones who keep the family name, work and inherit the land. On the other hand, for Indians, girls do not bring anything, quite the contrary, because it is even necessary to pay their dowry to their husband's family. Thus, according to the document « India's girls go missing » 600,000 Indian girls go missing every year. This is likely to be a problem for the country in the coming years as it will no longer have enough girls to have babies.
To conclude , India is now an emerging power with a very dynamic economy, which is leading to a modernization of the country. However, there are limits to India's development since some traditions such as dowry are still there. This tradition is a threat to the future Indian generation, which may lack women in the future.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 18-04-2019 08:26
Réponse : EO/Bac aide de juja21, postée le 18-04-2019 à 10:32:53 (S | E)
J'ai oublié le début:
Today I will talk about the idea of progress. The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change – a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. Nowadays thanks to new technologies’ development the progress is very fast.
Bonne journée
Réponse : EO/Bac aide de laure95, postée le 18-04-2019 à 10:42:11 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- new technologies’ development: the development of new technologies
- the (pas de the)progress is very fast.
- India has experienced (article)unprecedented economic and digital growth
- (article)country whose economic situation is in the process of developing.
- So we can ask ourselves: se demander = to Wonder.
- to what extent is India an emergency power?: interrogative indirecte donc changer l'ordre des mots.
- The document « Changing India » talks (un document ne parle pas, utilise is about) about the impressive changes in India.
- The population, which (pas le bon relatif: l'antécédent est humain)once lived in extreme poverty,
- Thus,(chercher un synonyme) Indians no longer need to immigrate
- This tradition leads to (artcile) abuse of women
- his tradition is a threat to the future Indian generation, which may lack women in the future (enlever in the future: répétition).
Good job!
Réponse : EO/Bac aide de juja21, postée le 19-04-2019 à 10:04:18 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Merci de votre aide, j'ai corrigé les fautes, y en a-t-il encore?
Today I will talk about the idea of progress. The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change – a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. Nowadays thanks to the development of new technologies progress is very fast. India has experienced an unprecedented economic and digital growth over the past 20 years. India is thus described as an emerging country, in other words a country whose economic situation is in the process of developing. So we can wonder to what extent India is an emergency power? First, we will talk about the country's economic and social development. Then we will talk about the limits of India's progress.
First of all, since the early 2000s, the Indian economy has been booming. India is now a major global economic power that is fully integrated into globalization. The document « Changing India » is about the impressive changes in India. According to the narrator, India, which was a rural and undeveloped country 10 years ago, has become a modern country with, for example, huge livestock farms like factories. The country has therefore modernised, the cities have become « high-tech cities » with skyscrapers. This economic development has led to the emergence of a middle class. The population, who once lived in extreme poverty, has seen its standard of living increase. Thus, it has become possible to prosper in India. This is explained in the document called « The Great Indian Dream". In this way, Indians no longer need to immigrate to the United States to « climb the social ladder"; as was previously the case according to the American Dream. There are also more and more schools in India and therefore more and more young Indian graduates. India's thriving economy has therefore led to an improvement in the living conditions of Indians and has made the country prosperous.
However, even though India has made significant progress in many areas such as education and health, some traditions remain firmly rooted. This is the case of the « dowry » which is a sum of money that the bride's family must pay to her future husband. This tradition leads to some abuse of women but also to gender selection. Indeed, many women prefer to abort or kill their babies if they are girls because Indians prefer to have a boy because they are the ones who keep the family name, work and inherit the land. On the other hand, for Indians, girls do not bring anything, quite the contrary, because it is even necessary to pay their dowry to their husband's family. Thus, according to the document « India's girls go missing » 600,000 Indian girls go missing every year. This is likely to be a problem for the country in the coming years as it will no longer have enough girls to have babies.
To conclude , India is now an emerging power with a very dynamic economy, which is leading to a modernization of the country. However, there are limits to India's development since some traditions such as dowry are still there. This tradition is a threat to the future Indian generation, which may lack women.
Bonne journée!!
Réponse : EO/Bac aide de laure95, postée le 19-04-2019 à 10:10:41 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Ok, je n'en vois pas d'autres!
Merci, bonne journée à vous aussi!
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