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Message de naotini posté le 23-11-2019 à 17:16:25 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai un oral dans quelques jours pour présenter ces 2 textes que je viens d'écrire, pouvez-vous me donner m'indiquer les erreurs s'il vous plaît ?
Merci beaucoup
The first news I'll discuss is the Middle East and the historic decision announced by Donald Trump on November 19 2019 in a speech to the Israeli government, through their Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, that the United States now recognize the legality of all occupied territories in the West Bank, annexed by Israel and considered illegal under international law.
This announcement has been seen as a shockwave around the world and further endorses the two-state solution repeatedly proposed by other previous US governments.
Indeed, it marks a break for four decades of American diplomacy under the Obama era, which was against the creation of new illegal settlements while promoting a two-state solution. By this decision, Trump not only changes its policy, but also swims against the UN Security Council resolutions, such as 2334, which consider the settlements as a, I quote, "violation of international humanitarian law putting seriously at risk the two-state solution".
In addition, many countries and organizations have turned against this decision and several heads of state and NGO have expressed themselves. For example :
• For the UN and in Europe : the head of European diplomacy Federica Mogherini says "we continue to follow the historic position of the United Nations that Israeli settlements constitue a violation of international law" and the EU calls on Israel to put an end to all settlement activity in accordance with its obligations as occupying Power.
•In USA : the well-known Senator Elizabeth Warren states in turn, I quote "These settlements don't only violate international law, they make peace more difficult to achieve".
•And of course many other economic powers like France, the UK, Russia, Turkey, Egypt and all the Arab countries.
Le second texte :
The second news concerns Amnesty International denouncing the violation of human rights on Facebook and Google.
Indeed, Amnesty has just published a 50 pages article blaming the many strategies of tax evasion but especially the economic model of these two companies, at the center which is the famous data, in other words the data of the users.
Amnesty believes that these GAFA giants have created an ubiquitous surveillance machine among its users. After collecting data, Google and Facebook use it to analyze people, make predictions about their hobbies, analyze their personality and behavior. Then, they use this information to target advertising and generate income.
But we know and see it every day, Google and Facebook keep repeating that they have at heart respect for privacy while their entire business model is based precisely on the exploitation of our privacy.
For Amnesty, the surveillance-based business models put in place by Facebook and Google are incompatible with the right to privacy and pose a threat to all our other rights like freedom of opinion and expression.
Merci encore !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-11-2019 17:38
Message de naotini posté le 23-11-2019 à 17:16:25 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai un oral dans quelques jours pour présenter ces 2 textes que je viens d'écrire, pouvez-vous m
Merci beaucoup
The first news I'll discuss is the Middle East and the historic decision announced by Donald Trump on November 19 2019 in a speech to the Israeli government, through their Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, that the United States now recognize the legality of all occupied territories in the West Bank, annexed by Israel and considered illegal under international law.
This announcement has been seen as a shockwave around the world and further endorses the two-state solution repeatedly proposed by other previous US governments.
Indeed, it marks a break for four decades of American diplomacy under the Obama era, which was against the creation of new illegal settlements while promoting a two-state solution. By this decision, Trump not only changes its policy, but also swims against the UN Security Council resolutions, such as 2334, which consider the settlements as a, I quote, "violation of international humanitarian law putting seriously at risk the two-state solution".
In addition, many countries and organizations have turned against this decision and several heads of state and NGO have expressed themselves. For example :
• For the UN and in Europe : the head of European diplomacy Federica Mogherini says "we continue to follow the historic position of the United Nations that Israeli settlements constitue a violation of international law" and the EU calls on Israel to put an end to all settlement activity in accordance with its obligations as occupying Power.
•In USA : the well-known Senator Elizabeth Warren states in turn, I quote "These settlements don't only violate international law, they make peace more difficult to achieve".
•And of course many other economic powers like France, the UK, Russia, Turkey, Egypt and all the Arab countries.
Le second texte :
The second news concerns Amnesty International denouncing the violation of human rights on Facebook and Google.
Indeed, Amnesty has just published a 50 pages article blaming the many strategies of tax evasion but especially the economic model of these two companies, at the center which is the famous data, in other words the data of the users.
Amnesty believes that these GAFA giants have created an ubiquitous surveillance machine among its users. After collecting data, Google and Facebook use it to analyze people, make predictions about their hobbies, analyze their personality and behavior. Then, they use this information to target advertising and generate income.
But we know and see it every day, Google and Facebook keep repeating that they have at heart respect for privacy while their entire business model is based precisely on the exploitation of our privacy.
For Amnesty, the surveillance-based business models put in place by Facebook and Google are incompatible with the right to privacy and pose a threat to all our other rights like freedom of opinion and expression.
Merci encore !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-11-2019 17:38
Réponse : Correction/USA de laure95, postée le 23-11-2019 à 18:24:03 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
- the historic(al) decision announced by Donald Trump
- considered illegal under (article)international law.
- Indeed, it marks a break for (pas la bonne préposition) four decades of American diplomacy
- By (taking) this decision, Trump not only changes its policy,
- such as 2334: ?
- , which consider (faute de conjugaison)the settlements as a, I quote, "violation of international humanitarian law
- the head of (artcile)European diplomacy Federica Mogherini says (passé)
- •In (article)USA
_ the well-known Senator Elizabeth Warren states (passé)in turn,
Le second texte :
- a 50 pages article: a 50-page article)
- blaming the many (pas le bon mot ici, utiliser un adjectif)strategies of (article)tax evasion
Good job!
Réponse : Correction/USA de gerold, postée le 24-11-2019 à 11:50:30 (S | E)
Bonjour naotini
Quelques remarques en plus de celles de Laure :
The first news I'll discuss is the Middle East and the historic decision announced by Donald Trump .... Laure, c'est bien "historic", pas "historical" (Historic describes something momentous or important in history. Historical simply describes something that belongs to an earlier period of history) on November 19 2019 in a speech to the Israeli government, through their/its Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, that the United States now recognize(s) (selon l'usage actuel, United States est en général traité comme un singulier) the legality of all occupied territories in the West Bank, annexed by Israel and considered illegal under international law.
This announcement has been seen as a shockwave around the world and further endorses endorse = favoriser, promouvoir, confusion avec endanger ? the two-state solution repeatedly proposed by other previous US governments.
Indeed, it marks a break for four decades of American diplomacy under the Obama era l'ère Obama n'a pas duré 40 ans, which was against the creation of new illegal settlements while promoting a two-state solution. By this decision, Trump not only changes
In addition, many countries and organizations have turned against this decision and several heads of state and NGO have expressed themselves. For example :
• For the UN and in Europe : the head of European diplomacy Federica Mogherini says said "we continue to follow the historic position of the United Nations that Israeli settlements constitue a violation of international law" and the EU calls on Israel to put an end to all settlement activity in accordance with its obligations as occupying Power.
...
Le second texte :
....
Indeed, Amnesty has just published a 50 pages article blaming the many strategies of tax evasion but especially the economic model of these two companies, at the center of which is the famous data, in other words the data of the users.
...
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