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Message de hugoch posté le 01-02-2020 à 09:39:48 (S | E | F)
RE-bonjour,
je poste un deuxième sujet et pour rappel j'aimerais obtenir de l'aide sur la grammaire de mon travail ainsi qu'un avis de votre part^^
Cordialement,
Hugo
Notion Mythes and Heroes
I’m going to talk to you about the notion Mythes and Heroes. To start it is important to define this notion. For me a myth is a well-known story which was made up in the past to explain natural events or to justify religious beliefs or social customs. There may not be records or other proof that they happened, but at least some parts of myths may be true. All cultures have myths. A hero is someone who is admired for either for their courage, qualities or particular achievements. They can be regarded as an ideal or role model. A hero can also be someone that you know personally and that you look up to, usually because of a particular quality or skill that they have.
To illustrate this notion, I decided to speak more particularly about the heroes who fought for equality in the United States. So I'm going to answer the question "Why can we consider some African-Americans as heroes? »
At first, we will focus on the living conditions of African-Americans then we'll see how some people have helped change things while becoming heroes.
I)In the past, Afro-Americans have experienced segregation by whites. Their conditions were terrible. White people created a lot of prohibitions for them. For example, in restaurants people of black color were separated from whites. At school also black children were separated from white children. This discrimination even went as far as the bus, the whites considered that the blacks were inferior to the white, therefore they did not have the same rights. For example, Rosa Parks has fought all her life, when she was only 19 years old she refused to give up her place to a white man on a bus which earned him to be sent to prison ...
Fortunately, many men and women fought for their rights and helped to improve the situation.
II)Some persons became famous became famous because they fought against segregation. We can look at Martin Luther King who dedicated his life to love and justice between fellow human beings. He fought for Afro-Americans rights and he was shot in 1968 in the cause of that effort. He wanted peace and equality of rights for blacks and whites. He has made several famous actions like his famous speech “I have a dream”, in which he explains his vision of the future. Many people dreamed like him of a land where the whites and the blacks would live in equality.The fight led by these heroes allowed to get things done. They did not fight for nothing, they are no put in danger for nothing. Their struggle has been rewarded by evolutions. Very quickly most of the laws that separated blacks and whites were removed. For example from 1954, it is strictly forbidden to separate schools by skin color but it was not before 1960 that the first black girl decided to apply in a white school.Fortunately for humanity they are not the only ones! We could also quote Nina Simone who refused to give up her dream of pianist and who wrote committed music, or Jesse Owens who to show the Nazis that blacks were not inferior by winning the Berlin Olympics…
To conclude, the life of Afro-Americans has changed over time and that thanks to heroes who have made history. Thanks to their actions, they made things evolve as well as mentalities. One of the finest examples is the election of Barack Obama, an Afro-American elected in 2008. This is proof of the evolution of the country. I think that all those people who have contributed to the equality of blacks and whites deserve totally to be considered as heroes because without them all this would probably not have been possible. Will racism in the world know an end?
Message de hugoch posté le 01-02-2020 à 09:39:48 (S | E | F)
RE-bonjour,
je poste un deuxième sujet et pour rappel j'aimerais obtenir de l'aide sur la grammaire de mon travail ainsi qu'un avis de votre part^^
Cordialement,
Hugo
Notion Mythes and Heroes
I’m going to talk to you about the notion Mythes and Heroes. To start it is important to define this notion. For me a myth is a well-known story which was made up in the past to explain natural events or to justify religious beliefs or social customs. There may not be records or other proof that they happened, but at least some parts of myths may be true. All cultures have myths. A hero is someone who is admired for either for their courage, qualities or particular achievements. They can be regarded as an ideal or role model. A hero can also be someone that you know personally and that you look up to, usually because of a particular quality or skill that they have.
To illustrate this notion, I decided to speak more particularly about the heroes who fought for equality in the United States. So I'm going to answer the question "Why can we consider some African-Americans as heroes? »
At first, we will focus on the living conditions of African-Americans then we'll see how some people have helped change things while becoming heroes.
I)In the past, Afro-Americans have experienced segregation by whites. Their conditions were terrible. White people created a lot of prohibitions for them. For example, in restaurants people of black color were separated from whites. At school also black children were separated from white children. This discrimination even went as far as the bus, the whites considered that the blacks were inferior to the white, therefore they did not have the same rights. For example, Rosa Parks has fought all her life, when she was only 19 years old she refused to give up her place to a white man on a bus which earned him to be sent to prison ...
Fortunately, many men and women fought for their rights and helped to improve the situation.
II)Some persons became famous became famous because they fought against segregation. We can look at Martin Luther King who dedicated his life to love and justice between fellow human beings. He fought for Afro-Americans rights and he was shot in 1968 in the cause of that effort. He wanted peace and equality of rights for blacks and whites. He has made several famous actions like his famous speech “I have a dream”, in which he explains his vision of the future. Many people dreamed like him of a land where the whites and the blacks would live in equality.The fight led by these heroes allowed to get things done. They did not fight for nothing, they are no put in danger for nothing. Their struggle has been rewarded by evolutions. Very quickly most of the laws that separated blacks and whites were removed. For example from 1954, it is strictly forbidden to separate schools by skin color but it was not before 1960 that the first black girl decided to apply in a white school.Fortunately for humanity they are not the only ones! We could also quote Nina Simone who refused to give up her dream of pianist and who wrote committed music, or Jesse Owens who to show the Nazis that blacks were not inferior by winning the Berlin Olympics…
To conclude, the life of Afro-Americans has changed over time and that thanks to heroes who have made history. Thanks to their actions, they made things evolve as well as mentalities. One of the finest examples is the election of Barack Obama, an Afro-American elected in 2008. This is proof of the evolution of the country. I think that all those people who have contributed to the equality of blacks and whites deserve totally to be considered as heroes because without them all this would probably not have been possible. Will racism in the world know an end?
Réponse : Notion/Mythes and heroes de gerondif, postée le 01-02-2020 à 22:20:56 (S | E)
Bonjour
Votre grammaire est globalement plutôt correcte, j'ai l'impression quand je lis votre texte que vous avez soigneusement collecté toutes les phrases correctes produites en cours et que vous les avez assemblées. L'introduction et la présentation prennent du temps, je veux dire que quand je lis votre introduction et début de texte, j'ai le même sentiment que quand je suis derrière un conducteur trop lent, malgré l'anglais correct.
Apparaissent ici et là des phrases de votre crû où c'est parfois plus maladroit.
Erreurs en bleu
Notion Mythes and Heroes
I’m going to talk (ou speak, plus soutenu) to you about the notion Mythes and Heroes. To start it is important to define this notion. For me a myth is a well-known story which was made up in the past to explain natural events or to justify religious beliefs or social customs. There may not be records or other proof that they happened, but at least some parts of myths may be true. All cultures have myths. A hero is someone who is admired
To illustrate this notion, I decided to speak more particularly about the heroes who fought for equality in the United States. So I'm going to answer the question "Why can we consider some African-Americans as heroes? »
At first, we will focus on the living conditions of African-Americans then we'll see how some people have helped change things while becoming heroes.
I)In the past, Afro-Americans have experienced (je mettrais plutôt un prétérit) segregation by whites. Their conditions were terrible. White people created a lot of prohibitions for them. For example, in restaurants people of black color(fait français traduit, black people) were separated from whites (white people). At school also black children were separated from white children. This discrimination even went as far as the bus, the whites considered that the blacks were inferior to them
Fortunately, many men and women fought for their rights and helped to improve the situation.
II)Some persons
To conclude, the life of Afro-Americans has changed over time and that thanks to heroes who have made history. Thanks to their actions, they made things evolve as well as mentalities. One of the finest examples is the election of Barack Obama, an Afro-American elected in 2008. This is proof of the evolution of the country. I think that all those people who have contributed to the equality of blacks and whites deserve totally(à inverser) to be considered as heroes because without them, all this would probably not have been possible. Will racism in the world know an end ?
Mais dans l'ensemble,c'est agréable à écouter, même si j'ai une impression de survol.
Réponse : Notion/Mythes and heroes de gerold, postée le 02-02-2020 à 11:32:35 (S | E)
Bonjour
Juste une petite remarque :
... when she (Rosa Parks) was only 19 years old she refused to give up her place to a white man on a bus ...
Rosa Parks est née en 1913, cet incident a eu lieu en 1955, Rosa Parks avait donc 42 ans.
Réponse : Notion/Mythes and heroes de gerondif, postée le 06-02-2020 à 14:38:17 (S | E)
Bonjour
Vous nous disiez avoir un oral mardi, or, ce jeudi, je vois que:
Dernière connexion au club : samedi 01 février 2020 à 09:32:43.
Avez-vous consulté le travail que vous demandiez aux correcteurs de ce site ?
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