Correction/progrès

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Correction/progrès
Message de alicia06arn posté le 18-03-2020 à 15:33:16 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
voilà mon oral d'anglais sur la notion du progrès, pouvez-vous me proposer une correction s'il vous plait?
Merci d'avance.

I-Progrès scientifique
Medical progress increase our life expectancy and offer more effective treatments.
These progress improve our lives and quality of life.
many parents have the problem of infertility, many women offer their help as a surrogate. Many do it for money. there are other cases like Kim Kardashian, who turned to a surrogate to have her third child, she says she hates being pregnant.
Plastic surgery is also progress, it removes the complexes, to stop the mockery, we studied the case of a child born with large ears, many children called the monkey, her parents turned to plastic surgery, she said it changed her life. Plastic surgery is also used after an accident.
medicine created the PGD (pre-implantation genetic diagnostic), create babies without defects and diseases
We also studied the extract of TV show Limitless : the main character is a man who becomes mentally perfect thanks to a pill.

II-Progrès social
The sixties are considered a new era with many changes, access to television and cars improved people’s quality of life.
Many aids are created, like health insurance to cover the risks.
The situation of women has improved, with equal pay for the same job.
They win the right to vote in 1920 in the USA.
access to contraception is also great progress.
There is also progress with homosexuals with same-sex marriage. However, women are always discriminated. In some countries they are underpaid. In Africa, they are still considered second-class citizens.

Conclusion:
This notion is interesting, I could see the evolution of the world and discover the progress of our society. there is still a lot of progress to be made, the world is not perfect and probably never will be. There are different progress like technological progress, cultural or political. But you don't always have to associate progress with improvement, it can also be harmful to society, progress can be beneficial but have negative sides.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 18-03-2020 18:29
Topic posté en double,mais non supprimé car vous avez eu une réponse. Je supprime le 1er que vous avez posté. Merci de ne pas poster 2 fois le même texte !

Réponse : Correction/progrès de gerondif, postée le 18-03-2020 à 18:24:09 (S | E)
Bonjour
Vous compilez une suite de phrases, je ne suis pas sûr que ça constitue un texte.
erreurs en bleu
I-Progrès scientifique
Medical progress increase(le s du présent simple troisième personne, prononcer " ncriisiz") our life expectancy and offer(le s) more effective treatments.
These progress improve our lives and quality of life.
many parents have the problem of infertility, many women offer their help as a surrogate. Many do it for money. there are other cases like Kim Kardashian, who turned to a surrogate to have her third child, she says she hates being pregnant.
Plastic surgery is also progress, it removes the(à ôter) complexes, (construction, votre "pour arrêter" est planté au milieu de rien) to stop the mockery, we studied the case of a child born with large ears, many children called her the monkey, her parents turned to plastic surgery, she said it changed her life. Plastic surgery is also used after an accident.
Medicine created the PGD (pre-implantation genetic diagnostic),to create babies without defects and diseases
We also studied the an extract of TV show Limitless : the main character is a man who becomes mentally perfect thanks to a pill.

II-Progrès social
The sixties are considered a new era with many changes, access to television and cars improved people’s quality of life.
Many aids are (prétérit préférable) created, like health insurance to cover the risks.
The situation of women has improved, with equal pay for the same job.
They win(prétérit) the right to vote in 1920 in the USA.
Access to contraception is (préterit) also great progress.
There is (prétérit) also progress with homosexuals with same-sex marriage. However, women are always discriminated. In some countries they are underpaid. In Africa, they are still considered second-class citizens.

Conclusion:
This notion is interesting, I could see the evolution of the world and discover the progress of our society. there is still a lot of progress to be made, the world is not perfect and probably never will be. There are different types of progress like technological progress, cultural or political progress. But you don't always have to(j'aurais plutôt mis you can't always associate) associate progress with improvement, it can also be harmful to society, progress can be beneficial but have negative sides (répète l'idée précédente).

Réponse : Correction/progrès de alicia06arn, postée le 19-03-2020 à 09:53:03 (S | E)
Bonjour, voilà j'ai essayé d'améliorer mon devoirs (et de mettre des liens logique entre mes phrases😇) et de corriger les fautes.
I- Progrès scientifique
Scientific progress improve our lives and quality of life.
For example, many parents have the problem of infertility, some women offers their help as a surrogate. Many do it for money. there are other cases like Kim Kardashian, who turned to a surrogate to have her third child, she says she hates being pregnant.
Plastic surgery is also progress, it removes complexes, to stop the mockery, we studied the case of a child born with large ears, many children called the monkey, her parents turned to plastic surgery, she said it changed her life. Plastic surgery is also used after an accident.
Medical progress increases our life expectancy and offer more effective treatments.
medicine created the PGD (pre-implantation genetic diagnostic), to create babies without defects and diseases

II- Progrès social
The sixties are considered a new era with many changes, access to television and cars improved people’s quality of life.
Many aids was created, like health insurance to cover the risks.
The world has improved with the situation of women, and the equal pay for the same job.
They won the right to vote in 1920 in the USA.
Access to contraception is also great progress.
There is also progress with homosexuals with the authorization of their marriage. However, women are always discriminated. In some countries they are underpaid. In Africa, they are still considered second-class citizens.
There is still progress to be made

Conclusion :
This notion is interesting, I could see the evolution of the world and discover the progress of our society. there is still a lot of progress to be made, the world is not perfect and probably never will be. There are different types of progress like technological progress, cultural or political progress. But you can’t always associate progress with improvement it can also be harmful to society.

Réponse : Correction/progrès de laure95, postée le 19-03-2020 à 13:50:37 (S | E)
Bonjour,
I- some women offers: faute de conjugaison.
- Plastic surgery is also (article)progress,
- many children called (pronom)the monkey,
- she said it (had)changed her life.
- without (any) defects and diseases

II- The sixties are considered (as)a new era with many changes, (article)access
- Many aids was (faute de conjugaison) created,
- (article)Access to contraception is also (article) great progress.
- However, women are always discriminated (against).
- they are still considered (as)second-class citizens.

Conclusion :
- I could (was able to pas could)see the evolution of the world

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