Aide/BBC

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Aide/BBC
Message de chd3 posté le 18-11-2020 à 15:58:23 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je dois réaliser une publicité pour le 100ème anniversaire de la BBC,
Pouvez-vous m’aider à le corriger s'il vous plait?
Merci d' avance

Voici le texte:
Meanwhile in London at the Smiths we BBC are still in your party and your hearts
GP: Listen!
G: No it sucks, the song is too old, we're changing!
F: Rrrr, Stopped! This is not bad, you just don't like.
GP: Exactly, in addition this music reminds me of my childhood. I remember on the BBC there was Churchill's speech when he asked us not to let go and to keep fighting against the Nazis.
G: Yes, yes, I know, you tell us this story all the time. (Changement de musique)
F: Oh grandpa, speaking of radio, yesterday morning I heard that he was going to increase the premium to buy a hybrid car, you who are planning to change it now is the time and above all it’s ecological!
G: Oh listen!
GP: We listen! But it sucks too... (Changement de musique (Beatles)) That's much better, and just around the same time that this song got its first colour on the BBC.
F: Oh yes I know her! I can change?
GP: Yes ... (changement de musique: beyonce)
F: She's recent but I love her, she says a woman isn’t just a mother, she shouldn't be the only one doing the cooking or cleaning.
GP: Hala la your sister and her ideas.
F: What, You are against !?!
GP: Of course not, but you tell us all the time.
G: Ah how you annoy grandpa, I'm going to put on another music (changement de musique (coupe du monde)) the world cup music), at least that's a reference, the 1998 world cup by the French !!! Grandpa, did you see him live?
GP: obviously you know that football is a family affair
Indeed, the BBC is a family affair, found sport, history, news on our application "..." and come celebrate our 100th anniversary on December 2, a big gift for our faithful beebs will be offered.

------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 18-11-2020 17:18
Gris

Réponse : Aide/BBC de gerondif, postée le 18-11-2020 à 19:08:46 (S | E)
Bonsoir
Erreurs en bleu.
Meanwhile in London at the Smiths we BBC are still in(at) your party and in your hearts
GP: Listen!
G: No it sucks, the song is too old, we're changing!(temps)
F: Rrrr, Stopped(drôle d'impératif !)! This is not bad, you just don't like (complément).
GP: Exactly, in addition this music reminds me of my childhood. I remember, on the BBC, there was Churchill's speech when he asked us not to let go and to keep fighting against the Nazis.
G: Yes, yes, I know, you tell us this story all the time. (Changement de musique)
F: Oh grandpa, speaking of the radio, yesterday morning I heard that he(qui-ça ?) was going to increase the premium to buy a hybrid car, you who are planning to change it, now is the time and above all it’s ecological!
G: Oh listen!
GP: We listen(temps)! But it sucks too... (Changement de musique (The Beatles)) That's much better, and just around the same time that'the same ...as, comparatif d'égalité. Phrase bancale, il manque des mots) this song got its first colour(sens ? au même moment où cette chanson obtenait sa première couleur à la BBC ??) on the BBC.
F: Oh yes I know her(qui ça ? Une femme en tous cas)! I can(inversez) change?
GP: Yes ... (changement de musique: beyonce)
F: She's recent but I love her, she says a woman isn’t just a mother, she shouldn't be the only one doing the cooking or the cleaning.
GP: Hala la(ne se dit pas comme celà en anglais) your sister and her ideas.
F: What, You are against (fait très français traduit : Quoi, t'es contre ?) !?!
GP: Of course not, but you tell us all the time.
G: Ah how(vous confondez comme et comment, mettez since au sens de puisque) you annoy grandpa, I'm going to put on another music (changement de musique (coupe du monde)) the world cup music), at least that's a reference, the 1998 world cup by the French (ça n'a pas de sens , la coupe du monde par les français, au niveau des rencontres de foot) !!! Grandpa, did you see him(qui ça ? un homme en tous cas) live?
GP: obviously you know that football is a family affair.
Indeed, the BBC is a family affair, (sujet du verbe) found sport, history, news on our application "..." and come and celebrate our 100th anniversary on December 2, a big gift for our faithful beebs will be offered. (je ne trouve pas beebs au pluriel mais le dictionnaire n'est peut-être pas à la page.

Réponse : Aide/BBC de chd3, postée le 18-11-2020 à 22:56:24 (S | E)
Voici mon texte avec correction:
Meanwhile in London at the Smiths we BBC are still at your party and in your hearts
GP: Listen!
G: No it sucks, the song is too old, I change
F: Rrrr, Stop! This is not bad, you just don't like it.
GP: Exactly, in addition this music reminds me of my childhood. I remember, on the BBC, there was Churchill's speech when he asked us not to let go and to keep fighting against the Nazis.
G: Yes, yes, I know, you tell us this story all the time. (Changement de musique)
F: Oh grandpa, speaking of the radio, yesterday morning I heard that the government was going to increase the premium to buy a hybrid car, you who are planning to change it, now is the time and above all it’s ecological!
G: Oh listen!
GP: We are listening! But it sucks too... (Changement de musique (The Beatles)) That's much better. when this music came out the BBC had just had the color.
F: Oh yes I know it (the music)! Can I change?
GP: Yes ... (changement de musique: beyonce)
F: She's recent but I love her, she says a woman isn’t just a mother, she shouldn't be the only one doing the cooking or the cleaning.
GP: Uh-oh (je ne connais les interjections anglaises) your sister and her ideas.
F: What, You are against (je peux mettre quelle phrase à la place ? Parce que je ne vois pas ce qui pourrait aller mieux avec ce texte...) !?!
GP: Of course not, but you tell us all the time.
G: Ah since you annoy grandpa, I'm going to put on another music (changement de musique (coupe du monde)), at least that's a reference, the 1998 Football World Cup by the French !!! Grandpa, did you see it live?
GP: obviously you know that football is a family affair.
Indeed, the BBC is a family affair, find sport, history, news on our application "..." and come celebrate our 100th anniversary on December 2, a big gift for our faithful beebs will be offered.
Merci d’avance

Réponse : Aide/BBC de gerondif, postée le 19-11-2020 à 15:28:08 (S | E)
Bonjour
Meanwhile in London at the Smiths we BBC are still at your party and in your hearts
GP: Listen!
G: No it sucks, the song is too old, I change (let me change that)
F: Rrrr, Stop! This is not bad, you just don't like it.
GP: Exactly, in addition this music reminds me of my childhood. I remember, on the BBC, there was Churchill's speech when he asked us not to let go and to keep fighting against the Nazis.
G: Yes, yes, I know, you tell us this story all the time. (Changement de musique)
F: Oh grandpa, speaking of the radio, yesterday morning I heard that the government was going to increase the premium to buy a hybrid car, you who are planning to change it, now is the time and above all it’s ecological!
G: Oh listen!
GP: We are listening! But it sucks too... (Changement de musique (The Beatles)) That's much better. when this music came out the BBC had just had the color. (la BBC c'est à la fois des stations de radios et des chaines de télé, elles n'ont pas eu la couleur, c'est la télévision qui a été diffusée en couleur, il faudrait donc dire This music came out just when TV changed from black and white to colour.
F: Oh yes I know it(that song) (the music)! Can I change?
GP: Yes ... (changement de musique: beyonce)
F: She's recent but I love her, she(ok si vous parlez de Beyonce, une femme, mais pas si vous parlez du titre, de la chanson.) says a woman isn’t just a mother, she shouldn't be the only one doing the cooking or the cleaning.
GP: Uh-oh (utilisé quand quelque chose se passe mal, par exemple cet astronaute qui voit une anomalie quelques secondes avant la désintégration de la navette spatiale américaine.(je ne connais les interjections anglaises) (Yeah ! Tell me about it!)your sister and her ideas.
F: What, Are you really against that ? (vous auriez pu y penser toute seule, une simple forme interrogative complète)
GP: Of course not, but you tell us all the time.(you keep telling us)
G: Ah since you annoy grandpa, I'm going to put on another music (changement de musique (coupe du monde)), at least that's a reference, the 1998 Football World Cup won by the French !!! Grandpa, did you see it live?
GP: obviously you know that football is a family affair.
Indeed, the BBC is a family affair. (point) "Find sport, history, news on our application "..." (vous citez la pub de site, je suppose)and come celebrate(en anglais britannique, on dit come and play, come and help me, come and celebrate. Come celebrate est un raccourci courant mais grammaticalement discutable) our 100th anniversary on December 2nd, a big gift for our faithful beebs(quel sens donnez-vous à ce mot ?) will be offered.

Réponse : Aide/BBC de chd3, postée le 20-11-2020 à 08:16:36 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup

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