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Message de taliny12 posté le 04-12-2022 à 16:41:01 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai besoin qu'on me dise s'il y a des fautes s'il vous plait; merci !
I saw my life sinking I looked at my heart this break it's over it's over I succumbed
they watched me silently my loneliness my only company my thears my only diliverance I suffered I hope the more I look further back I live from day to day to forget yesterday and wait for tomorrow the only thing I know how to shut up and take the only thing I can shut up and and wait for someone to tell me what to do , it's over , it's over , I succumbed ...
Thank you!
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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-12-2022 20:28
gris
Message de taliny12 posté le 04-12-2022 à 16:41:01 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai besoin qu'on me dise s'il y a des fautes s'il vous plait; merci !
I saw my life sinking I looked at my heart this break it's over it's over I succumbed
they watched me silently my loneliness my only company my thears my only diliverance I suffered I hope the more I look further back I live from day to day to forget yesterday and wait for tomorrow the only thing I know how to shut up and take the only thing I can shut up and and wait for someone to tell me what to do , it's over , it's over , I succumbed ...
Thank you!
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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-12-2022 20:28
gris
Réponse : Correction/ paroles de gerondif, postée le 04-12-2022 à 17:07:09 (S | E)
Bonjour
Sans ponctuation, difficile de voir du sens parfois.
I saw my life sinking. I looked at my heart this break.(I looked at my heart breaking aurait un sens, ou I looked at my heart, at this break. Mais this break tout seul ??) it's over it's over I succumbed.
they watched me silently. my loneliness my only company, my tears my only diliverance. I suffered. I hope. the more I look further back (on attendrait un autre the more après le premier, plus je fais ceci, plus je fais cela) I live from day to day to forget yesterday and wait for tomorrow. the only thing I know is how to shut up and take the only thing I can shut up and and wait for someone to tell me what to do. it's over, it's over, I succumbed ...
Réponse : Correction/ paroles de taliny12, postée le 04-12-2022 à 19:23:10 (S | E)
merci gérondif
je vais rajoute la ponctuation et rajouter un "the more"
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