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Jokes in English 2
Message de hotmustard posté le 10-03-2007 à 10:12:50 (S | E | F | I)
Just a funny way to perfect our English!
The rule is: No ethnic's jokes, No jokes about any category of persons likely to upset them. No unrefined words/situations.Thanks a lot.
Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
It changes their blood type.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 20-03-2007 14:28
Suite du 1er topic archivé / The first topic has been closed.
Message de hotmustard posté le 10-03-2007 à 10:12:50 (S | E | F | I)
Just a funny way to perfect our English!
The rule is: No ethnic's jokes, No jokes about any category of persons likely to upset them. No unrefined words/situations.Thanks a lot.
Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
It changes their blood type.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-03-2007 14:28
Suite du 1er topic archivé / The first topic has been closed.
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de avatarosa, postée le 20-03-2007 à 14:14:45 (S | E)
.......I liked the joke.Here is another one:
What did 0 tell 8?
Nice belt.lol
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de hotmustard, postée le 20-03-2007 à 14:32:43 (S | E)
I like your joke, avatarosa
It's finely told...
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de jamy05, postée le 20-03-2007 à 14:46:00 (S | E)
what is white in the air,and yellow when it falls?--an egg
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de ariane6, postée le 22-03-2007 à 19:22:19 (S | E)
The French existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him: "Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?"
Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream".
Nodding agreement, the waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working. A few minutes later, however, the waitress returned and said, "I'm sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream... how about with no milk?"
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de eddy2007, postée le 24-03-2007 à 20:48:16 (S | E)
Thank you for your joke! Now I am going to give another:
"A father asked his son:Why you have all those bad notes in your school notebook, you don't inherit it from me, because when I was your age I used to get very good results at school. And the child answered to him: listen to me dad, it's not really my school notebook, it's yours I picked it in your desk."
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de ariane6, postée le 24-03-2007 à 21:40:56 (S | E)
Thank you eddy !
Listen what happened in the same family :Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6'"
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?"
"That's exactly what I said!".
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de alexandra7757, postée le 26-03-2007 à 16:39:09 (S | E)
Thanks for the joke. I will apply it next time I'll eat with my friends.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 26-03-2007 16:49
Réponse se rapportant au post suivant fusionné avec "Jokes in English 2".
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de marlo1, postée le 25-03-2007 à 19:07:23 (S | E)
Peter and John
they both ask for steak. The waiter brings
the steaks to them shortly afterwards.
Peter grabs the larger steak.
John says to him angrily "what bad manners you have!
you helped yourself first and took
piece".
Peter answers "if you had been in my place, which
piece would you have taken?",
"the smaller one of course"
"Then what are you complaining about? you have it, haven't YOU?"
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Modifié par vero7000 le 25-03-2007 20:01
correction du titre
Merci Magstmarc
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Modifié par magstmarc le 25-03-2007 20:49
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de ariane6, postée le 06-04-2007 à 09:28:18 (S | E)
"Where were you in Paris on your vacation?""I don't know, my wife got the tickets."
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de hanoo909, postée le 11-04-2007 à 19:10:08 (S | E)
lol
thanks for jokes
but I no have any jokes
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de magstmarc, postée le 12-04-2007 à 14:29:09 (S | E)
I just got a splendid book full of English and American jokes
I'd like to share one with you :
"When Lady Caruthers smashed the traditional bottle of champagne against the hull of the giant oil tanker, she slipped down the runway, gained speed, rocketed into the water with a gigantic spray and continued unchecked toward Prince's Island"
(British newspaper report)
A clue : "she" is supposed to represent the ship : ships, beautiful cars and impressive machines are often spoken of as feminine.Taken from "The Anglo-American Book of Wit&Jokes" by J.C. Bertrand
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de magstmarc, postée le 19-04-2007 à 23:33:53 (S | E)
At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a mathematics teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator. According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. It was later discovered that he taught the students to solve their problem with the help of radicals!
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de ubu, postée le 20-04-2007 à 16:37:59 (S | E)
Great !
Mag 
The name of your teacher : Al-Gorithm ?
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de magstmarc, postée le 20-04-2007 à 16:49:08 (S | E)
It must be !
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de ubu, postée le 20-04-2007 à 17:54:54 (S | E)
An advice on the BBC site:
Working in France? "Learn as much as you can of the French language. It shows that you're making an effort and it will help you understand their English."
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de magstmarc, postée le 20-04-2007 à 19:13:59 (S | E)
In a New York restaurant :
"Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager" !
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de magstmarc, postée le 28-04-2007 à 09:04:51 (S | E)
Here's another one...
A cat and five kittens found themselves face to face with a big dog. The cat started barking furiously and scared the dog away. Then she turned to her kittens: "You see how important it is to learn a foreign language !"
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de nadelka97, postée le 28-04-2007 à 11:47:43 (S | E)
Very funny, thanks.
TEACHER: Haven't you finished cleaning the blackboard yet?
STUDENT: Not yet. The more I clean, the blacker it gets.
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de nadelka97, postée le 28-04-2007 à 12:00:06 (S | E)
Another one.
What happened to the student who swallowed the dictionary?
The nurse couldn't get a word out of him.
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de magstmarc, postée le 28-04-2007 à 12:08:05 (S | E)
-Have no fear. This dog will eat off your hand !
-That's exactly what I'm afraid of !
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de marlond, postée le 28-04-2007 à 18:56:18 (S | E)
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
(say it out loud..)
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de koukou_2007, postée le 18-06-2007 à 19:34:58 (S | E)
some one drink medicament befor her time .his friend ask him(why you drink the medicament befor her time???!!!!!)he say that he want to surprise microbesRéponse: Jokes in English 2 de will03, postée le 18-06-2007 à 21:50:52 (S | E)
Why carrots are good for the sight ?
Because have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses ?
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de rapenzul, postée le 19-06-2007 à 21:11:11 (S | E)
i really adore your jokes..
here is another oneThree friends called nothing,mad and no-one are walking down a river.
No-one felt into the water so nothing asked mad to call firemen.
Mad:
"Hi.I'm mad.I ask for nothing.no-one felt into the water."Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de rapenzul, postée le 25-06-2007 à 20:56:24 (S | E)
Hey!!!
No one love my story or no one can find a better one?
or
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de denzel, postée le 25-06-2007 à 21:42:02 (S | E)
Two balloons are floating across the desert.
One balloon says to the other:
"Look out for the cactusssssssssssssssss!"
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de denzel, postée le 25-06-2007 à 21:49:38 (S | E)
Teacher and Nick, his student:
Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de denzel, postée le 25-06-2007 à 22:41:37 (S | E)
My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
So I asked him "What was the name of his other leg?"
Réponse: Jokes in English 2 de mp27, postée le 26-06-2007 à 01:34:56 (S | E)
I love the last 2 jokes!!!
This one is a very short one, (for beginners dealing with their irregular verbs!)
-- Why is Six afraid of seven?
-- answer -> because 7, 8 (ate), 9.
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