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Message de sebi1305 posté le 19-08-2007 à 11:39:19 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour, je viens solliciter vote aide pour mon examen d'anglais. Pouvez-vous jeter un coup d'oeil a mon texte ,svp! Et relever les fautes possibles! merci d'avance
Unit 3 :
It was three months ago in the night . The Simpsons family were fast asleep in bed. When two burglars broke in their house. They broke the back window and then, without noise, they went in the house. They took the television , the video recorder and they seized all the money which they found. They carried those outside to their car. After that, they also stole in a other house of the street. But fortunately the police arrived quickly and caught the two robbers.
Unit 4 :
About clothing : for me, the most famous brands are Nike, addidas and levis. We can buy it everywhere in the world . This brands propose clothes , parfume and tennis schoes. My favourite brands are River Wood, Oneil and Oxbow. Unfortunately those brands are very expensive.
About food : the biggest restanrant is certainly Macdonald. But their foods aren’t very good for the health because it’s very fat.
What about me : for all shoppings, the main street is located in Soignies. It’s a lovely place to shop. The pavement of this street gives a pretty look and so attracts a lot of people. You can find there many different products of many brands . But I don’t like doing shopping because that takes a longtime and I spend a lot of money.
During these last holidays , I visited the sales in Mons and in Nivelle in two huge departement stores . I shopped a lot of jumpers and a few blue jeans. It’wasn’t easy to find my size. I paid by credit card for the first once.
Message de sebi1305 posté le 19-08-2007 à 11:39:19 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour, je viens solliciter vote aide pour mon examen d'anglais. Pouvez-vous jeter un coup d'oeil a mon texte ,svp! Et relever les fautes possibles! merci d'avance
Unit 3 :
It was three months ago in the night . The Simpsons family were fast asleep in bed. When two burglars broke in their house. They broke the back window and then, without noise, they went in the house. They took the television , the video recorder and they seized all the money which they found. They carried those outside to their car. After that, they also stole in a other house of the street. But fortunately the police arrived quickly and caught the two robbers.
Unit 4 :
About clothing : for me, the most famous brands are Nike, addidas and levis. We can buy it everywhere in the world . This brands propose clothes , parfume and tennis schoes. My favourite brands are River Wood, Oneil and Oxbow. Unfortunately those brands are very expensive.
About food : the biggest restanrant is certainly Macdonald. But their foods aren’t very good for the health because it’s very fat.
What about me : for all shoppings, the main street is located in Soignies. It’s a lovely place to shop. The pavement of this street gives a pretty look and so attracts a lot of people. You can find there many different products of many brands . But I don’t like doing shopping because that takes a longtime and I spend a lot of money.
During these last holidays , I visited the sales in Mons and in Nivelle in two huge departement stores . I shopped a lot of jumpers and a few blue jeans. It’wasn’t easy to find my size. I paid by credit card for the first once.
Réponse: votre avis sur mon texte de guizmo2000, postée le 21-08-2007 à 16:09:18 (S | E)
Désolé du retard, je peux te dire, ton texte est très bien, mais il pour ce qui s'agit des fautes, je laisse ça à quelqu'un de plus expérimenté.
Réponse: votre avis sur mon texte de flamegrace, postée le 21-08-2007 à 22:32:35 (S | E)
selon moi,en général, pas mal ton texte. Je suis nouvelle sur le site, mais j'ai essayé de te donner un coup de main. J'espère que ce n'est pas trop tard.
It was-peut-être mieux It happened. Pourquoi tu commences une autre phrase avec When? Il faut mettre when avec minuscule, car when relie les deux phrases.
they went in the house-
they went into the house.
those- je mettrais "everything",
This brands- these (pl)
corrections-shoes, restaurant, McDonald's,
Après unfortunately, il faut mettre une virgule, adverbe en début de phrase.
Le mot foods n'existe pas, on garde food is not very good.
Corrections:
à la place de shopped dans ta dernière phrase, je mettrais to buy, donc I bought.
first once ou first one ou first time? je ne comprends pas ce que tu veux dire.
Bon courage!
Réponse: votre avis sur mon texte de sebi1305, postée le 22-08-2007 à 10:26:19 (S | E)
merci pour vos réponses cela m'a beaucoup aidé. je vais bientôt poster le reste de mon travail sur le forum. Si vous-pouviez aller jeter un coup d'oeil... Merci d'avance pour votre aide ^^
Réponse: votre avis sur mon texte de sebi1305, postée le 22-08-2007 à 10:35:46 (S | E)
Voilà la deuxième parties
Unit 5 : hopes and ambitions
When I grow up ,
I’d like to be a scientist and to earn a lot of money.
I hope to go to university to be graduate.
But for that I know that in a first time I’ll have to work hard to take my examinations with success.
Ideal
For the moment
I’m looking forward to being eighteen soon to have my driving licence. But I don’t want to grow up very quickly.
This year I hope to win a tournament of tennis and so to improve my level.
I’d like also to be in the Christophe and Simon’s classroom.
I’m going to study seriously this year to have better result than last years.
Hollywood kids
On the one hand , the hollywoodkids are quite happy because they have what they want when they want. They wear disingner clothes, they have credit cards and unlimited cash.
On the other hand they have unlucky because their parents don’t spend much time with them. Thus they are often home alone. And then their parents employ peuple to look after their kids. So these kids become adulte too quickly.
As conclusion, I can say that they live in a unreal world where beauty, money and pleasure are their only gods. For me, I woudn’t like to live in Hollywood.
Réponse: votre avis sur mon texte de leroy19, postée le 22-08-2007 à 14:01:34 (S | E)
It was-peut-être mieux It happened. Pourquoi tu commences une autre phrase avec When? Il faut mettre when avec minuscule, car when relie les deux phrases.
they went in the house-
they went into the house.
comme conseille je te demande de jeter un cour d'oeil au premier cour pour debutant là tu veras un peus plus claire
Réponse: votre avis sur mon texte de flamegrace, postée le 25-08-2007 à 21:24:26 (S | E)
Je te propose quelques améliorations. En général, tu as bien travaillé
J'espère qu'il y aura d'autres personnes qui viendront avec des propositions intéressantes quant'à la construction des phrases,vocabulaire, etc.
Bon courage!
When I grow up ,
I’d like to be a scientist and to earn a lot of money.
I hope to go to university and to be a good graduate student.
But (to accomplish my dreams)for that I know that in a first time (firstly)I’ll have to work hard to take my examinations with success.(in order to pass my exams successfully)
Ideal- qu'est-ce que tu veux dire?
For the moment
I’m looking forward to being eighteen soon to have my driving licence. But I don’t want to grow up very quickly.
This year I hope to win a tournament of tennis and so to improve my level.
I’d like also to be in the Christophe and Simon’s classroom.
I’m going to study seriously this year to have better result(s) than last years.
Hollywood kids
On the one hand , the hollywoodkids are quite happy because they have what they want when they want. They wear disingner(je te propose fashinable clothes) clothes, they have credit cards and unlimited cash.
On the other hand they have (are-to be) unlucky because their parents don’t spend much time with them. Thus, they are often at home alone. And then their parents employ peuple (people) to look after their kids. So, these kids become adulte too quickly.
As conclusion, I can say that they live in a unreal world where beauty, money and pleasure are their only gods. For me,(as for me) I woudn’t like to live in Hollywood.
Réponse: votre avis sur mon texte de flamegrace, postée le 25-08-2007 à 21:29:14 (S | E)
as a conclusion, in conclusion, to conclude - c'est à toi de choisir!
Réponse: votre avis sur mon texte de sebi1305, postée le 26-08-2007 à 10:38:11 (S | E)
ben voilà la toute dernière partie de mon travail, après je vous laisse tranquille ^^! merci d'avance
Trip to london.
I went at London three months ago. The trip lasted three days: march 21st, march 22nd and march 23rd.
We traveled by bus and I enjoyed the crossing on boat very much but unfortunately I was seasick.
During my stay in london we had the pleasure to visit the tower of London, the British museum, Tussaud and Canterbery.
During my freetime I also visited a big game store. It was beautiful and huge. But I didn’t buy anything because in London all is very expensive.
My welcome family’s house was very small and poor. The food was terrible. The trip in london was less exiting than the trip in Amsterdam two years ago but I spent three beautiful days.
I’m looking forward to hearing from you !
Write me soon.
Your sincerely
INDISPENSABLES : 