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Lettre pour correspondance [correction]
Message de frapedur posté le 29-09-2007 à 10:34:51
Bonjour à tous
Je suis en seconde européenne et je vais faire un voyage en Suède afin d'avoir des corresponds avec toute ma classe de seconde.
Il fallait faire une lettre pour se présenter et avant de l'envoyer, je souhaiterais que vous y jetiez un oeil pour voir s'il n'y a pas de fautes majeures.
Merci d'avance pour votre correction!
Hello,
I enjoy having a correspondant so, I will present me, like that, you know who am I.
My name is LEDER Pierre, I live in France, in North-East of France, in Moselle, a village which call Algrange. It’s a very little town, not more 6 000 habitants!
I’m 14 years old ans I’m very happy to do the eureo project, I’m very lucky! I’ve short brown hair and brown eyes! I’m 1,85 yards (1,69 meters) for 64 kilos!
I have a sister, her name is Marie and a little brother too, he’s very young!! He’s five months!!
I’m un sportive guy, I practise handball since 6 years but I’ve some problems on my knee so, I’m limited to practise it... I sometimes play tenis with a friend, scrabble with my mothers, chess with my father and cards of course! I play “Poker over seven hands!” and “Backgammon”. I enjoy being in front of my xbox360, about 30 minutes in a day to play, not more because I have to learn my lessons and doing my homework!
I have ever gone to Sweden, when I was 6, It was my best travel over the world, one week-end in Sweden, some tokens in my head for all my life! In this country I’ve done snow-mobile I was fantastic.
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Modifié par bridg le 29-09-2007 10:56
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Modifié par lucile83 le 18-04-2009 15:45
Message de frapedur posté le 29-09-2007 à 10:34:51
Bonjour à tous
Je suis en seconde européenne et je vais faire un voyage en Suède afin d'avoir des corresponds avec toute ma classe de seconde.
Il fallait faire une lettre pour se présenter et avant de l'envoyer, je souhaiterais que vous y jetiez un oeil pour voir s'il n'y a pas de fautes majeures.
Merci d'avance pour votre correction!
Hello,
I enjoy having a correspondant so, I will present me, like that, you know who am I.
My name is LEDER Pierre, I live in France, in North-East of France, in Moselle, a village which call Algrange. It’s a very little town, not more 6 000 habitants!
I’m 14 years old ans I’m very happy to do the eureo project, I’m very lucky! I’ve short brown hair and brown eyes! I’m 1,85 yards (1,69 meters) for 64 kilos!
I have a sister, her name is Marie and a little brother too, he’s very young!! He’s five months!!
I’m un sportive guy, I practise handball since 6 years but I’ve some problems on my knee so, I’m limited to practise it... I sometimes play tenis with a friend, scrabble with my mothers, chess with my father and cards of course! I play “Poker over seven hands!” and “Backgammon”. I enjoy being in front of my xbox360, about 30 minutes in a day to play, not more because I have to learn my lessons and doing my homework!
I have ever gone to Sweden, when I was 6, It was my best travel over the world, one week-end in Sweden, some tokens in my head for all my life! In this country I’ve done snow-mobile I was fantastic.
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Modifié par bridg le 29-09-2007 10:56
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Modifié par lucile83 le 18-04-2009 15:45
Réponse: Lettre pour correspondance [correction] de jean31, postée le 29-09-2007 à 11:30:25
Hello frapedur, nice to see you back 'home'...!
Pas mal de fautes de langue, de grammaire aussi, balisées en rouge et parfois annotées.
N'aurais-tu pas écrit ça trop vite et en pensant à autre chose ?
Hello,
I enjoy having a correspondant so, I will present me, like that, you know who am I.<= ce n'est pas une question.
My name is Pierre LEDER,<=(first name first!) I live in north-eastern France, in Moselle, a village which -- call Algrange. It’s a very little town, not more ---- 6 000 --habitants!
I’m 14 years old ans I’m very happy to do the eureo project, I’m very lucky! I’ve short brown hair and brown eyes! I’m 1,85 yards (1,69 meters) for 64 kilos!
I have a sister, her name is Marie and a little brother too, he’s very young!! He’s five months!!
I’m un sportive guy, I practise<=(obligation du present pefect) handball since<=(interdit avec une durée) 6 years but I’ve some problems on my knee so, I’m limited to practise it... I sometimes play tenis with a friend, scrabble with my mothers,<=(en aurais-tu plus d'une ?) chess with my father and cards of course! I play “Poker over seven hands!” and “Backgammon”. I enjoy being in front of my xbox360, about 30 minutes in a day to play, not more because I have to learn my lessons and doing my homework!
I have ever gone to Sweden, when I was 6. It was my best travel over the world, one week-end in Sweden, some tokens in my head for all my life! In this country I’ve done snow-mobile I was fantastic.
Réponse: Lettre pour correspondance [correction] de nick27, postée le 29-09-2007 à 11:51:05
Small mistake left out by jean31 :
" ... he’s very young!! He’s five months --- !!"
Have a good trip to Sweden then
Réponse: Lettre pour correspondance [correction] de frapedur, postée le 29-09-2007 à 13:05:41
Bonjour à tous les deux!
Tout d'abord Merci!!
I enjoy having a correspondant so, I will present me, like that, you know who I am. My name is Pierre LEDER,I live in north-eastern France, in Moselle, a village which is call Algrange. It’s a very little town, about 6000 inhabitants
I’m 14 years old ans I’m very happy to do the euro project, I’m very lucky! I’ve short brown hair and brown eyes! I’m 1,69 meters for 64 kilos!
I have a sister, her name is Marie and a little brother too, he’s very young!! He’s five months ago!!
I’m an sportive guy, I've practised handball since 2000 but I’ve some problems on my knee so, I’m limited to practise it... I sometimes play tennis with a friend, scrabble with my mother,chess with my father and cards of course! I play “Poker over seven hands!” and “Backgammon”. I enjoy being in front of my xbox360, about 30 minutes in a day to play, not more because I have to learn my lessons and do my homework!
I have ever gone (je ne vois pas ce qui ne va pas ici!
) to Sweden, when I was 6. It was my best travel over the world, one week-end in Sweden, a memorial week-end in my head for all my life! In this country I’ve done (pourquoi est-ce faux?)snow-mobile I was fantastic.Je demanderai encore un tout petit de votre aide!
Merci déjà pour tout ce que vous avez fait!
Réponse: Lettre pour correspondance [correction] de avril23, postée le 29-09-2007 à 13:57:19
Hello !!!!
Je ne suis pas spécialement douée en anglais mais j'ai quand même reussi à trouver une faute ( ouais !
lool ): "with my mothers " : tu as mis un s ! Mais tu n'as qu'une mère, non ? Peut-être que je me trompe....^^Allez, bisous, c'est quand même bien !
Réponse: Lettre pour correspondance [correction] de jean31, postée le 29-09-2007 à 15:21:54
Allez, vu que c'est la fin de la semaine et que tu t'appliques, voici un petit coup de pouce (en vert) mais je te laisse rectifier ce qui est encore en rouge par toi-même.
A +
Tout d'abord Merci!!
I enjoy having a correspondant so, I will present me, like that, you know who I am. My name is Pierre LEDER,I live in north-eastern France, in Moselle, a village which is call-- Algrange. It’s a very little town, about 6000 inhabitants
I’m 14 years old ans I’m very happy to do the euro---- project, I’m very lucky! I’ve short brown hair and brown eyes! I’m 1,69 meters for 64 kilos!
I have a sister, her name is Marie and a little brother too, he’s very young!! He’s five months ago!!
I’m an sportive guy, I've practised handball since 2000 but I’ve some problems on my knee so, I’m limited to practise it... I sometimes play tennis with a friend, scrabble with my mother,chess with my father and cards of course! I play “Poker over seven hands!” and “Backgammon”. I enjoy being in front of my xbox360, about 30 minutes in a day to play, not more because I have to learn my lessons and do my homework!
I have ever gone (je ne vois pas ce qui ne va pas ici! )<= D'évidence, tu veux dire "Je suis déjà allé... = I already went/travelled to Sweden, when I was 6. It was my best travel in the world, one weekend in Sweden, a memorable weekend in my mind for all my life! In this country I’ve done (pourquoi est-ce faux?) ridden on a snowmobile, it was fantastic.
Je demanderai encore un tout petit de votre aide!
Merci déjà pour tout ce que vous avez fait!
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Modifié par jean31 le 29-09-2007 15:23
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Modifié par jean31 le 29-09-2007 15:24
Réponse: Lettre pour correspondance [correction] de nick27, postée le 29-09-2007 à 16:52:35
Bravo frapedur
Je changerais encore quelques petites choses par rapport à la correction de jean31.
1/ I’m 1,69 meters ...
2/ But I’ve had some problems on my knee so
3/ I play “Poker over seven hands!” and “Backgammon”. (Je mettrais "I like to play/playing)
4/ about 30 minutes
5/ In this country I’ve done (pourquoi est-ce faux?) ridden on a snowmobile, it was fantastic.
=> Pourquoi le present perfect? => in this country I rode a snowmobile and it was fantastic.
Réponse: Lettre pour correspondance [correction] de frapedur, postée le 29-09-2007 à 18:43:42
Merci à vous pour vos corrections, toujours dans des délais records et des explications sans faille!
Grâce à vous, j'aurai sûrement un bon correspondant.
Au revoir!
Réponse: Lettre pour correspondance [correction] de jean31, postée le 29-09-2007 à 19:18:58
See you, frapedur.
Enjoy your stay in Sweden and Swedish girls
, of course!
INDISPENSABLES : 