Texte de théatre (1)

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Texte de théatre
Message de mamalexou posté le 08-10-2007 à 18:45:05 (S | E | F | I)
Bonsoir j'ai fait un texte de théatre et j'aimerais savoir si il ya des erreurs merci d'avance c'est la suite d'un texte vu en cours donc ne vous étonner pas si vous ne comprenner pas tout désolée.

"The comunication between Maria and his husband stopped because the burglar's phone haven't got any battery.

Burglar: "hey, hey, hey you are here?"

he didn't have any answer....stricken with angry, he get excited. An other burglar arrived nere the house. He come into living room because the first burglar leaves the door open. Meanwhile the first burglar arrived in the living room. They were face to face.

First Burglar: "oh my god who are you?"
Second Burglar: "euh, I'm a friend of this family, and you, who are you?"
First Burglar " You are a friend and you come into living room?"
Second Burglar: "yes..."
First Burglar: "And it's normal that on the floor there are gloves, bag and hood? Can you to explain please?"
Second Burglar: "ok, ok, Keep quiet!"
First Burglar: "Good you are here for the same reason as me...."
Second Burglar: "Ah you're discovered this house too."
First Burglar: "of course it's a beautiful property."
Second Burglar: "I agree, there are much articles of value."


voilà si il ya des choses qui ne vont pas faites moi signe merci d'avance et désolée pour les erreurs.

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Réponse: Texte de théatre de jean31, postée le 08-10-2007 à 19:07:13 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

En rouge, tout ce qu'il te faut corriger.

The comunication between Maria and his husband stopped because the burglar's phone haven't got any battery.

Burglar: "hey, hey, hey you are here?"

he didn't have any answer....stricken with angry, he get excited. Another burglar arrived nere the house. He come into -- living room because the first burglar leaves the door open. Meanwhile the first burglar arrived in the living room. They were face to face.

First Burglar: "oh my god who are you?"
Second Burglar: "euh, I'm a friend of this family, and you, who are you?"
First Burglar " You are a friend and you come into -- living room?"
Second Burglar: "yes..."
First Burglar: "And it's normal that on the floor<=(complément de lieu mal placé) there are gloves, bag and hood? Can you to explain please?"
Second Burglar: "ok, ok, Keep quiet!"
First Burglar: "Good you are here for the same reason as me...."
Second Burglar: "Ah you're discovered this house too."
First Burglar: "of course it's a beautiful property."
Second Burglar: "I agree, there are much articles of value."<=> valuables.

Allez, au travail !.
Attention au temps des verbes quand tu fais un récit.

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Réponse: Texte de théatre de mamalexou, postée le 08-10-2007 à 20:58:17 (S | E)
"The comunication between Maria and her husband stopped because the burglar's phone hasen't got any battery.

Burglar: "hey, hey, hey Are you here?"
he didn't have any answer....stricken with anger, he was excited. Another burglar arrived near the house. He comes into the living room because the first burglar leaves (je veux dire laisser la porte ouverte) the door open. Meanwhile the first burglar arrived in the living room. They were face to face.

First Burglar: "oh my God who are you?"
Second Burglar: "euh, I'm a friend of this family, and you, who are you?"
First Burglar " You are a friend and you come into the / to (je pense a to car c'est un but enfin une direction je ne sais ps trop) living room?"
Second Burglar: "yes..."
First Burglar: "And it's normal that there are gloves, bag and hood on the floor? Can you explain please?"
Second Burglar: "ok, ok, Keep quiet!"
First Burglar: "Good you are here for the same reason as me...."
Second Burglar: "Ah you was discovered this house too." (je veux dire qu'ila vait repéré cette maison aussi...)
First Burglar: "of course it's a beautiful property."
Second Burglar: "I agree, there are valuables."

voilà ma correction et merci bcp de prendre du temps pour m'aider.

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Réponse: Texte de théatre de jean31, postée le 08-10-2007 à 22:28:28 (S | E)
"The comunication between Maria and her husband stopped because the burglar's phone battery was empty.<=(c'est plus simplement dit ainsi)...//...
He comes<=(Tu ne mets encore pas le preterit, le temps du récit. Bis ! ) into the living room because the first burglar leaves<=(Là, il faut un past perfect) the door open. ...//...
First Burglar " You are a friend and you come into the <=(Sois logique !) living room?" ...//...
Second Burglar: "Ah you was<=(Le present perfect se forme toujours avec Have ) discovered this house too."
...//...
Second Burglar: "I agree, there are a lot of valuables."

C'est mieux, mais il y a encore du "déchet".
Tiens compte de mes annotations et tu vas y arriver.

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Réponse: Texte de théatre de mamalexou, postée le 10-10-2007 à 13:48:12 (S | E)
"The comunication between Maria and her husband stopped because the burglar's phone battery was empty.

Burglar: "hey, hey, hey Are you here?"
he didn't have any answer....stricken with anger, he was excited. Another burglar arrived near the house. He come into the living room because the first burglar left the door open. Meanwhile the first burglar arrived in the living room. They were face to face.

First Burglar: "oh my God who are you?"
Second Burglar: "euh, I'm a friend of this family, and you, who are you?"
First Burglar " You are a friend and you come into the living room?"
Second Burglar: "yes..."
First Burglar: "And it's normal that there are gloves, bag and hood on the floor? Can you explain please?"
Second Burglar: "ok, ok, Keep quiet!"
First Burglar: "Good you are here for the same reason as me...."
Second Burglar: "Ah you had discovered this house too."
First Burglar: "of course it's a beautiful property."
Second Burglar: "I agree, there are a lot of valuables."


voilà merci bcp vraiment et dsl du retard je n'ai pas pu reccoriger avant car j'étais en cours

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