Rédaction (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE

Rédaction

Message de nounours_love posté le 27-09-2008 à 18:19:15 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

Ma profeseur d'anglais nous a demander de rédiger une rédaction sous forme de lettre que nous allons envoyer à notre famille d'accueil de New-York ( c'est fictif : Nous n'allons pas envoyer cette lettre).

Pouvez-vous,s'il vous plaît me corriger les fautes?

Voici mon texte:

June,11th,2008

Dear Mr and Mrs John,

I am writing this letter to thank for you reception in your house.
I've received your photos and thank you too for having taken much.
Now,I'd like to introduce myself :
My name is Pauline and I am fifteen years old.
I've got only one brother who is eleven years old and his name is Quentin.
My parent's name are Nadia and Philippe.They're forty-four years old and they are hospital agent and secretary.
My favourite activities are the shopping and the computers.
I've choosed The United States and more precisely New-York because I would like visit this city,the monuments as the Statue of Liberty and many others..
I feel like exploring central park,Times Square,Radio music hall,Moma museum and Ellis Island.
What's more I've seen in the photos your Daughter:I hope to do her knowledge.
I haven't got others questions.

I am looking forward to meeting you.

Bets regards...

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 27-09-2008 20:50
titre

Réponse: Rédaction de babyscot59, postée le 27-09-2008 à 19:24:01 (S | E)

Bonjour, je vous laisse des indications pour la correction de votre lettre

Dear Mr and Mrs John,

I am writing this letter to thank for you reception ( ici on passera par une forme verbale) in your house.
I've received your photos and thank you too for having taken much ( ici photo est dénombrables on peut les compter).
Now,I'd like to introduce myself :
My name is Pauline and I am fifteen years old.
I've got only one brother who is eleven years old and his name is Quentin.
My parent's name are Nadia and Philippe.They're forty-four years old and they are hospital agent and secretary.
My favourite activities are the shopping and the computers ( pas d article devant les activités).
I've choosed The United States and more precisely New-York because I would like (revoir la construction, il manque quelque chose après Like) visit this city,the monuments as the Statue of Liberty and many others..
I feel like exploring central park,Times Square,Radio music hall,Moma museum and Ellis Island.
What's more (pas ici, il faut un autre mot de liaison) I've seen in the photos your Daughter:I hope to do her knowledge ( pas le bon verbe, regardez comme dire * faire la connaissance de quelqu'un* dans le dictionnaire).
I haven't got ( il manque un petit mot) others questions.

I am looking forward to meeting you.

Voila sinon pas de grosse faute

Amicalement

sebastien

Réponse: Rédaction de inga, postée le 27-09-2008 à 20:35:55 (S | E)
some more corrections

"I've received your photos and (e.g. I'd like to)thank you"
"I've choosed " wrong participle, this is an irregular verb

"My parent's name are Nadia and Philippe.They're forty-four years old and they are hospital agent and secretary."

here you could talk about your parents separately, e.g. first about your mom and then about your dad so that it's clear who is who (hospital agent and secretary)

New-York (no hyphen)
central park (use capital letters)
Moma (MoMA)

take care

Inga

Réponse: Rédaction de nounours_love, postée le 28-09-2008 à 14:04:23 (S | E)
Merci inga et babyscot59 pour vos réponses.
Voici ce que j'ai écris: Pouvez-vous me corriger les dernières fautes svp ?

Voici mon texte:

June,11th,2008

Dear Mr and Mrs John,

I am writing this letter because I'd like to thank for your reception .I've received your photos and thank you still for having taken many.
Now,let me tell you a few things about myself :
My name is Pauline and I am fifteen years old.
I've got only one brother who is eleven and his name is Quentin.
My dad's name is Philippe,he is forty-three and he is secretary.
My mom's name is Nadia,she is forty-three ans she is hospital agent.
My favourite activities areshopping and the computers.
I've chosen The United States and more precisely New York because I would like visit this city,the monuments as the Statue of Liberty and many others..
I feel like exploring CENTRAL PARCK ,Times Square,Radio music hall,MOMA museum and Ellis Island.
I saw in the photos your Daughter:I would really like to meett her.
I haven't got any others questions.

I am looking forward to meeting you.

Bets regards...

POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE