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Correction discours fictif
Message de lycia13 posté le 08-12-2008 à 11:39:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Voilà, je dois rendre un discours inaugural qui reprendrait (en 5min !!), ce qu'Obama pourrait dire le 10 janvier prochain. J'aurais besoin de votre aide pour quelques phrases non traduites et pour une correction de mon devoir.
Je vous remercie par avance de l'aide que vous m'apporterez (et pour le travail que vous faites sur ce forum/site).
When our founders declared America's independence to the world, they knew that America, to endure, would have to change. To a few of us here today, this is a solemn and most momentous occasion in the history of our Nation and for our people. [De part le choix que vous avez fait] you have showed that America is ready to have the vision and courage to reinvent itself. On behalf of this nation, I salute my predecessor, President Bush, for his service to America
[Les Etats-Unis doivent aller de l’avant] Our country has today to tackle a major economic crisis. She(or It ?) penalizes the major part of society sectors and destroy efforts. A whole series of actors will have to account and behave in a more responsible way but it is together all, in and except the government we support the consequences. These difficulties were born several decades ago and they will not leave from day to day. Achever, they will leave because I trust in what we can realize together, in a collective effort, change to preserve America’s ideals (life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The purpose of this government will be to reach a holy and increasing economy, which considers every person without any discriminatory barrier. To change America, we must be audacious. We must invest more in our own people, in our jobs, in our future, And we must do so in a world more and more instable. It will require sacrifice. But it can be done fairly, not choosing sacrifice for its own sake, but for our own sake.
To change America, we have to to take up challenges [aussi bien à l’étranger que chez nous]. For instance, the world economy, the global warming, they affect us all. United States are a model of freedom, and a hope for those who still have no democracy. We have to promote the democratic institutions in all the countries and in all the cultures. However, it is not the role of the army and the United States will not impose their own form of government to those who are not inclined to accept it. The task is difficult and it is the work of several generations. Nevertheless, we observed during the last fifty years the considerable success of the increase of the number of democratic States. [A cet égard], the United States often played an indispensable role by encouraging or by helping the other peoples to release itself and to set up the State under the rule of law. Besides, even if the task remains still difficult and even dangerous, as our two current wars prove it to us, the elimination of the despotic regimes and the organization of free elections are left by realizations of historic importance. The survival of our freedom depends more and more on the success of the freedom in the other countries. The best peace hope in our world is the distribution of an ideal of freedom.
I ask the Congress to join with me and I want to underline that no president, no Congress, no government, can undertake this mission alone. You, too, my fellow Americans, must play your part in our renewal.
CONCLUSION
With our values of ideal, respect, which are the base and the strength of our Nation, we shall succeed in living in strong and prosperous America, in peace whether it is with itself or with the rest of the world. For that purpose, let us recognize the simple truth: we need each others and we have to help each others. Each generation of Americans must define what it means to be an American and contribute to reaffirm our commitment in the idea of America.
God Bless you and bless America
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 08-12-2008 11:41
titre
Message de lycia13 posté le 08-12-2008 à 11:39:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Voilà, je dois rendre un discours inaugural qui reprendrait (en 5min !!), ce qu'Obama pourrait dire le 10 janvier prochain. J'aurais besoin de votre aide pour quelques phrases non traduites et pour une correction de mon devoir.
Je vous remercie par avance de l'aide que vous m'apporterez (et pour le travail que vous faites sur ce forum/site).
When our founders declared America's independence to the world, they knew that America, to endure, would have to change. To a few of us here today, this is a solemn and most momentous occasion in the history of our Nation and for our people. [De part le choix que vous avez fait] you have showed that America is ready to have the vision and courage to reinvent itself. On behalf of this nation, I salute my predecessor, President Bush, for his service to America
[Les Etats-Unis doivent aller de l’avant] Our country has today to tackle a major economic crisis. She(or It ?) penalizes the major part of society sectors and destroy efforts. A whole series of actors will have to account and behave in a more responsible way but it is together all, in and except the government we support the consequences. These difficulties were born several decades ago and they will not leave from day to day. Achever, they will leave because I trust in what we can realize together, in a collective effort, change to preserve America’s ideals (life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The purpose of this government will be to reach a holy and increasing economy, which considers every person without any discriminatory barrier. To change America, we must be audacious. We must invest more in our own people, in our jobs, in our future, And we must do so in a world more and more instable. It will require sacrifice. But it can be done fairly, not choosing sacrifice for its own sake, but for our own sake.
To change America, we have to to take up challenges [aussi bien à l’étranger que chez nous]. For instance, the world economy, the global warming, they affect us all. United States are a model of freedom, and a hope for those who still have no democracy. We have to promote the democratic institutions in all the countries and in all the cultures. However, it is not the role of the army and the United States will not impose their own form of government to those who are not inclined to accept it. The task is difficult and it is the work of several generations. Nevertheless, we observed during the last fifty years the considerable success of the increase of the number of democratic States. [A cet égard], the United States often played an indispensable role by encouraging or by helping the other peoples to release itself and to set up the State under the rule of law. Besides, even if the task remains still difficult and even dangerous, as our two current wars prove it to us, the elimination of the despotic regimes and the organization of free elections are left by realizations of historic importance. The survival of our freedom depends more and more on the success of the freedom in the other countries. The best peace hope in our world is the distribution of an ideal of freedom.
I ask the Congress to join with me and I want to underline that no president, no Congress, no government, can undertake this mission alone. You, too, my fellow Americans, must play your part in our renewal.
CONCLUSION
With our values of ideal, respect, which are the base and the strength of our Nation, we shall succeed in living in strong and prosperous America, in peace whether it is with itself or with the rest of the world. For that purpose, let us recognize the simple truth: we need each others and we have to help each others. Each generation of Americans must define what it means to be an American and contribute to reaffirm our commitment in the idea of America.
God Bless you and bless America
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 08-12-2008 11:41
titre
Réponse: Correction discours fictif de jean31, postée le 08-12-2008 à 18:37:10 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Vu la qualité de ton texte, j'en ai supprimé ce qui ne posait pas problème.
Les erreurs restantes sont balisées en rouge et suivies de leur correction en vert.
[...//...]
Through the choice you have made, you have showed that America...
The United States must go forward. Our country has today to tackle a major economic crisis. It penalizes the major part of society sectors and destroy
efforts...Achever??, they will leave because I trust in what we can realize together, in a collective effort,...
And we must do so in a world more and more instable...
To change America, we have to take up challenges [aussi bien à l’étranger que chez nous]both abroad and at home...
The United States are is(1) a model of freedom, and a hope for those who still have no democracy. We have to promote the democratic institutions in all the countries and in all the cultures. However, it is not the role of the army and the United States will not impose their its... (1 bis)
[A cet égard]Considering that, the United States have often played an indispensable role by encouraging or by helping the other peoples to release itself free themselves and to set up the State under the rule of law.
Besides, even if the task still remains difficult and even dangerous, as our two current wars prove it to us, the elimination of the despotic regimes and the organization of free elections are left by realizations of historic importance. The survival of our freedom depends more and more on the success of the freedom in the other countries. ...
I ask the Congress to join with me and I want...
CONCLUSION
With our values of ideal, respect, which are the basis and the strength of our Nation, we shall succeed in living in a strong and prosperous America, in peace whether it is be with itself or with the rest of the world. For that purpose, let us recognize the simple truth: we need each others one another and we have to help each others one another...
God Bless you and bless America.
(1) The United States, bien que pluriel, gouverne un verbe singulier. C'est singulier, n'est-ce pas ? Malgré ses 50 états fédérés, on considère en effet que c'est un seul état, une seule nation.
(1 bis) Ce qui entraîne aussi l'accord de l'adjectif possessif au singulier.
Attention à l'emploi intempestif de l'article défini.
Réponse: Correction discours fictif de lycia13, postée le 11-12-2008 à 16:47:37 (S | E)
Merci pour ta correction
J'ai effectivement un peu de mal avec l'emploi de "the"
INDISPENSABLES : 