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Superhero
Message de marquikat posté le 08-12-2008 à 21:21:35 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde, je viens d'écrire un texte sur une superhéroine et j'aimerais que vous me disiez ce que vous en pensez,s'il vous plaît.
Merci.
"Hello everybody, I’m going to speak about my superhero. She is a woman, her name is The Warrior. She has an armour, what makes her invincible. As superpowers, she cannot fly because she doesn’t have a cape but she can destroy everything because she is very strong. She cannot jump very high but she runs very quickly. Lastly, she cannot teleport her but she can control magnetic fields. Her worst enemy is The Other, with a capital O. The Other is a bad version of The Warrior. In everyday life, the name of the superheroine is Eleanor Smith, a common name in England, what prove the banality of this girl. Eleanor studies in an university of Cambridge. She is very shy and she doesn’t hesitate to help her classmates. Eleanor is orphan, but she was adopted by an old couple, eighteen years ago. Her true parents were killed by a villain. Eleanor is twenty two years old. I hope that you like my superheroine…"
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Modifié par bridg le 08-12-2008 21:39
Message de marquikat posté le 08-12-2008 à 21:21:35 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde, je viens d'écrire un texte sur une superhéroine et j'aimerais que vous me disiez ce que vous en pensez,s'il vous plaît.
Merci.
"Hello everybody, I’m going to speak about my superhero. She is a woman, her name is The Warrior. She has an armour, what makes her invincible. As superpowers, she cannot fly because she doesn’t have a cape but she can destroy everything because she is very strong. She cannot jump very high but she runs very quickly. Lastly, she cannot teleport her but she can control magnetic fields. Her worst enemy is The Other, with a capital O. The Other is a bad version of The Warrior. In everyday life, the name of the superheroine is Eleanor Smith, a common name in England, what prove the banality of this girl. Eleanor studies in an university of Cambridge. She is very shy and she doesn’t hesitate to help her classmates. Eleanor is orphan, but she was adopted by an old couple, eighteen years ago. Her true parents were killed by a villain. Eleanor is twenty two years old. I hope that you like my superheroine…"
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Modifié par bridg le 08-12-2008 21:39
Réponse: Superhero de jean31, postée le 09-12-2008 à 11:03:44 (S | E)
Bonjour,
En rouge, tout ce qui pose problème et doit être corrigé.
Le point d'exclamation jaune signale une omission.
(1) Le pronom relatif qui reprend la proposition précédente, la résume, doit être which = ce qui.
(2)Il faut employer le pronom réfléchi.
Reviens faire vérifier quand tu auras corrigé.
A te lire.
"Hello everybody, I’m going to speak about my superhero. She is a woman, her name is The Warrior. She has an armour, what(1) makes her invincible. As superpowers, she cannot fly because she doesn’t have a cape but she can destroy everything because she is very strong. She cannot jump very high but she runs very quickly. Lastly, she cannot teleport her(2) but she can control magnetic fields. Her worst enemy is The Other, with a capital O. The Other is a bad version of The Warrior. In everyday life, the name of the superheroine is Eleanor Smith, a common name in England, what(1) prove
the banality of this girl. Eleanor studies in an university of Cambridge. She is very shy and she doesn’t hesitate to help her classmates. Eleanor is orphan, but she was adopted by an old couple, eighteen years ago. Her true parents were killed by a villain. Eleanor is twenty two years old. I hope that you like my superheroine…"Réponse: Superhero de marquikat, postée le 09-12-2008 à 18:12:30 (S | E)
Très bien, thank you very much !
INDISPENSABLES : 