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Système d'alarme (correction) (1)

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Système d'alarme (correction)
Message de snyfir posté le 13-12-2008 à 18:05:49 (S | E | F)

Bonjour, j'ai fais un petit texte en anglais. Est-ce que vous pourriez le corriger, s'il vous plaît. ?
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses.

I) Introduction
I’m going to explain to you how an car alarms works.

II) Components and their function
An car alarms is composed of different components:
- There is a door sensor which detect if door is open.
- There is a microphone sensor which detects noise in the car.
- There is a crossover unit which filter the electrical signal from the microphone sensor for detect only breaking glass.
- There is interior pressure sensor which detects broken window and door open.
- There is mercury tilt/shock sensor which detects if the car is being moved.
- There is interior light which signal if alarm is active.
- There is lights which active when a sensor detects something.
- There is alarm speaker which emits noise when a sensor detects something.
- There is keycode receiver which allows disabling or enabling the car alarms with a remote control.
- There is alarm brain which centralizes all power system.

III) How it works
When the button of the remote control was pressed, a code was send to the keycode receiver. If the code is right, the keycode receiver sends a message to the alarm brain, and this-one active the car alarm. The different sensors were now enabling. The car was protecting to the thief. If the thief opens the door, the door sensor detects. Likewise, it the thief break glass, the microphone sensor detects noise, a signal was send to the crossover unit who analyzes and sends an alert to the alarm brain if the noise detected is a breaking glass noise. Moreover, if a door is open or glass breaking, a pressure differential between the inside and outside is detected by the interior pressure sensor. Besides if the car is displacing, for example is pushed to a truck, the mercury tilt sensor detect the movement. The different sensors are connected to the alarm brain by strings electrical. And if sensor detects something so the alarm brain enables the alarm speaker and the lights to do flee the thief.

IV) Conclusion
It’s sophisticated electronic sensors, who do cars are high-security fortresses on wheels.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 13-12-2008 18:12
titre distinctif


Réponse: Système d'alarme (correction) de linsey34, postée le 13-12-2008 à 23:50:55 (S | E)
Dear snyfir,

en rouge les erreurs à corriger et en bleu des éléments de correction:

I) Introduction
I’m going to explain to you how an car alarms works.

II) Components and their function
An car alarms is composed of different components:
- There is a door sensor which detect if the door is open.
- There is a microphone sensor which detects noise in the car.
- There is a crossover unit which filter the electrical signal from the microphone sensor for detect only breaking glass.
- There is an interior pressure sensor which detects broken window and door open.
- There is mercury tilt/shock sensor which detects if the car is being moved.
- There is an interior light which signal if the alarm is active.
- There is lights which verbe? active when a sensor detects something.
- There is an alarm speaker which emits noise when a sensor detects something.
- There is a keycode receiver which allows disabling or enabling the car alarms with a remote control.
- There is an alarm brain which centralizes all the power system.

III) How it works
When the button of the remote control was pressed, a code was send to the keycode receiver. If the code is right, the keycode receiver sends a message to the alarm brain, and this-one active the car alarm. The different sensors were now enabling. The car was protecting to the thief. If the thief opens the door, the door sensor detects complémént?. Likewise, it the thief break glass, the microphone sensor detects noise, a signal was send to the crossover unit who analyzes and sends an alert to the alarm brain if the noise detected is a breaking glass noise. Moreover, if a door is open or déterminant? glass breaking, a pressure differential between the inside and the outside is detected by the interior pressure sensor. Besides if the car is displacing, for example is pushed to a truck, the mercury tilt sensor detect the movement. The different sensors are connected to the alarm brain by strings electrical. And if the sensor detects something so the alarm brain enables the alarm speaker and the lights to do flee the thief.

IV) Conclusion
It’s sophisticated electronic sensors, who do cars are high-security fortresses on wheels.

aux "s" de troisième personne du singulier au présent simple
aux articles: "a" est suivi d'un son consonne et "an" est suivi d'un son voyelle
Traduction de "pour": for + nom / to + verbe


Réponse: Système d'alarme (correction) de snyfir, postée le 14-12-2008 à 11:27:33 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour la correction. Pourriez vous me dire si j'ai bien corrigé.



I) Introduction
I’m going to explain to you how a car alarm works.

II) Components and their function
A car alarm is composed of different components:
- There is a door sensor which detects if the door is open.
- There is a microphone sensor which detects noise in the car.
- There is a crossover unit which filters the electrical signal from the microphone sensor to detect only breaking glass.
- There is an interior pressure sensor which detects broken window and open door.
- There is mercury tilt/shock sensor which detects if the car is being moved.
- There is an interior light which signals if the alarm is active.
- There are lights which switch on when a sensor detects something.
- There is an alarm speaker which emits noise when a sensor detects something.
- There is a keycode receiver which allows disabling or enabling the car alarms with a remote control.
- There is an alarm brain which centralizes all the power system.

III) How it works
When the button of the remote control is pressed, a code is send to the keycode receiver. If the code is right, the keycode receiver sends a message to the alarm brain, and this one turn on the car alarm. The different sensors are now enabling. The car is protecting to the thief. If the thief opens the door, the door sensor detects this one. Likewise, it the thief breaks glass, the microphone sensor detects noise, a signal is send to the crossover unit which analyzes and sends an alert to the alarm brain if the noise detected is a breaking glass noise. Moreover, if a door is open or a glass is breaking, a pressure differential between the inside and the outside is detected by the interior pressure sensor. Besides if the car is displacing, for example is pushed for a truck, the mercury tilt sensor detects the movement. The different sensors are connected to the alarm brain by electrical strings. And if the sensor detects something then the alarm brain enables the alarm speaker and the lights for do flee the thief.

IV) Conclusion
Its sophisticated electronic sensors, which do cars are high-security fortresses on wheels.





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