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Correction /surpass yourself
Message de jade974 posté le 01-02-2009 à 18:02:28 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, quelqu'un pourrait me corriger mes fautes svp?
le sujet est: In which situation did you have to surpass yourself to fight for someone or something?
In my short existence, I did not really have the opportunity to exceed really my limits. However I wanted on several occasions with strength something and to did everything I can to obtain it. For example, to have my piercing in the navel it was necessary to me to show a lot of persuasion and patience (a quality which is lacking to me).
Indeed, my parents being very strict on the principles of proprieties I not been able to have my piercing that having to change totally my principles of persuasion. If I am five years old I could obtain all that I wanted by pouting, in fourteen years things complicated a little more... I thus decided to improve at first my school results, I worked relentlessly and was paying because I went out chief warrant officer of my school during the patent. Although my parents are proud of me they do not have me for all that to let make my piercing, because of my elder brother who seemed to find all the good reasons so that my parents do not change opinion.
From there, I decided to inform on the risks that could pull piercing, I even went consisted a mini-statement which I presented to my parents, it was very funny. I think that it is from this moment there, that my parents seeing all the evil which I gave to convince them myself to change opinion, decided to let me make.
I thus made in sort during the previous days my piercing talk of this and that every time the family meet itself gathered so that my brother knows about nothing and so that he does not influence the opinion of my parents. Finally the long-awaited day came, my parents accompanied me and I was able be drilled the navel without that my brother knows!
To conclude, this small experience taught me that it is necessary to fight to obtain those whom we want, whom it is necessary to face the obstacles and never to loose courage.
Je vous remercie d'avance!
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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-02-2009 18:06
titre
Message de jade974 posté le 01-02-2009 à 18:02:28 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, quelqu'un pourrait me corriger mes fautes svp?
le sujet est: In which situation did you have to surpass yourself to fight for someone or something?
In my short existence, I did not really have the opportunity to exceed really my limits. However I wanted on several occasions with strength something and to did everything I can to obtain it. For example, to have my piercing in the navel it was necessary to me to show a lot of persuasion and patience (a quality which is lacking to me).
Indeed, my parents being very strict on the principles of proprieties I not been able to have my piercing that having to change totally my principles of persuasion. If I am five years old I could obtain all that I wanted by pouting, in fourteen years things complicated a little more... I thus decided to improve at first my school results, I worked relentlessly and was paying because I went out chief warrant officer of my school during the patent. Although my parents are proud of me they do not have me for all that to let make my piercing, because of my elder brother who seemed to find all the good reasons so that my parents do not change opinion.
From there, I decided to inform on the risks that could pull piercing, I even went consisted a mini-statement which I presented to my parents, it was very funny. I think that it is from this moment there, that my parents seeing all the evil which I gave to convince them myself to change opinion, decided to let me make.
I thus made in sort during the previous days my piercing talk of this and that every time the family meet itself gathered so that my brother knows about nothing and so that he does not influence the opinion of my parents. Finally the long-awaited day came, my parents accompanied me and I was able be drilled the navel without that my brother knows!
To conclude, this small experience taught me that it is necessary to fight to obtain those whom we want, whom it is necessary to face the obstacles and never to loose courage.
Je vous remercie d'avance!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-02-2009 18:06
titre
Réponse: Correction /surpass yourself de joey93, postée le 01-02-2009 à 21:40:24 (S | E)
"to really exceed my limits".
"on several occasions I determinally wanted something and I did everything in order to get it."
Revois si l'on dit bien "it was necessary TO me" ou si ce n'est pas FOR, j'ai un doute!!
"a quality that I lack".
"my parents have always been very strict on the principles of proprieties thus I didn't have any choices, I had to change my principles of persuasion".
"when I was five years old... but in 14 years...complicated a little bit more.
"at first, I decided to improve..."
Je ne comprend pas ce que tu as voulu dire, pourrais tu m'expliquer : Although my parents are proud of me they do not have me for all that to let make my piercing ; I even went consisted a mini-statement ; seeing all the evil which I gave to convince them myself to change opinion"...my parents don't change their opinion".
"I decided to get information about the risks that you can run when you have a piercing
"this is from that moment that my parents..
"decided to let me make it".
Evite les répétitions, tu peux remplacer "thus par "then, so, therefore..."
je ne sais pas si c'est le sens que tu as voulu donner, mais voilà ce que je te propose : "I did everything in order to hide the fact that I wanted a piercing especially when my family gathered so that my brother could'nt try to influence them."
"my parents came with me" sonne plus "naturel".
"whithout" est toujours suivi de -ing, donc without my brother knowing it.
"to obtain what we want and it's necessary to face the obstacles and pluck up courage".
Réponse: Correction /surpass yourself de jade974, postée le 02-02-2009 à 14:38:46 (S | E)
Merci, pour ta correction joey93! Pour répondre à ta question j'ai voulu dire par "Although my parents are proud of me they do not have me for all that to let make my piercing ; I even went consisted a mini-statement ; seeing all the evil which I gave to convince them myself to change opinion" que Bien que mes parents aient été fiers de moi ils ne m'ont pas pour autant laisser faire mon piercing, à cause de mon frère aîné qui semblait trouver toutes les bonnes raisons afin que mes parents ne changent pas d'avis.
voilà je suis très nulle en anglais c'est une des matières où j'ai essayé de faire des efforts pour m'améliorer mais comme vous le voyez c'est dur pour moi! snif... merci encore!
INDISPENSABLES : 