Comme des milliers de personnes, recevez gratuitement chaque semaine << Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas
data-processing platform/correction
Message de gea63 posté le 24-03-2009 à 00:00:33 (S | E | F)
Bonjour a tous, voila dans le cadre de ma scolarité, mes camarades et moi avons réalise un projt sur une plateforme informatisée, L'ENT....
j'ai du faire un comtpe rendu en anglais de ce projet, ceci sera noté...
pourrais je avoir un avis exterieur sur mon texte?ai je fait beaucoup de fautes?
s'il vous plait donnez moi votre avis, cela est noté...
je vous remercie pour votre attention et surtout vous felicite pour l'entraide qui existe sur ce site...
merci a vous
Our project’s realization was a bit complicated because our initial idea was refused .We wished to organize one day in a hospital for ill children.
However too many “social projects” had been proposed.
Then we’ve decided to interest us in the use of the ENT. ENT became a very important tool for the students and the teachers in the last two years.
This data-processing platform enables to refer to our lessons, our diary for example…we can also communicate with our teachers if we have any question about a lesson.
Internet will have more and more an important place in teaching in the future and ENT is a proof of that.
We wanted to focus on students waiting’s concerning this platform.
We thus carried out a survey. This survey highlighted a real students’ waiting: we’ve noted a great interest for this new way of teaching but students consider that this platform is unfinished.
Once the results established, we’ve met MR. LEMOINE who works for the “data-processing network” department of the Université d’Auvergne and have presented him all our results. He seemed to be happy of our work.
But then we’ve discovered a main issue with the ENT: once the students will have left the Université d’Auvergne, they will not be able to have any more access to all information of the ENT.
This is why we’ve decided to create a blog with all necessary information for a student.
To make known our blog, we carried out advertizing posters which we stuck everywhere in the corridors of the university.
We could say that our promotion made a success because many people besides saw the blog.
We were very glad to carry out this project because it concerned us as a student.
Internet will become a tool overlooked and we wanted to see which were the students’ wishes. The blog enabled us to create a network of exchange which will last in time
To finish, we shared all the four a very pleasant moment because this project was carried out in the good mood and with a great will of our share.
This project enabled us to be responsible by presenting our results to a professional and thus to be judged for our work. We also learned how to work in group.
This project was a very nice experience that we’ve shared all together.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 24-03-2009 06:04
Message de gea63 posté le 24-03-2009 à 00:00:33 (S | E | F)
Bonjour a tous, voila dans le cadre de ma scolarité, mes camarades et moi avons réalise un projt sur une plateforme informatisée, L'ENT....
j'ai du faire un comtpe rendu en anglais de ce projet, ceci sera noté...
pourrais je avoir un avis exterieur sur mon texte?ai je fait beaucoup de fautes?
s'il vous plait donnez moi votre avis, cela est noté...
je vous remercie pour votre attention et surtout vous felicite pour l'entraide qui existe sur ce site...
merci a vous
Our project’s realization was a bit complicated because our initial idea was refused .We wished to organize one day in a hospital for ill children.
However too many “social projects” had been proposed.
Then we’ve decided to interest us in the use of the ENT. ENT became a very important tool for the students and the teachers in the last two years.
This data-processing platform enables to refer to our lessons, our diary for example…we can also communicate with our teachers if we have any question about a lesson.
Internet will have more and more an important place in teaching in the future and ENT is a proof of that.
We wanted to focus on students waiting’s concerning this platform.
We thus carried out a survey. This survey highlighted a real students’ waiting: we’ve noted a great interest for this new way of teaching but students consider that this platform is unfinished.
Once the results established, we’ve met MR. LEMOINE who works for the “data-processing network” department of the Université d’Auvergne and have presented him all our results. He seemed to be happy of our work.
But then we’ve discovered a main issue with the ENT: once the students will have left the Université d’Auvergne, they will not be able to have any more access to all information of the ENT.
This is why we’ve decided to create a blog with all necessary information for a student.
To make known our blog, we carried out advertizing posters which we stuck everywhere in the corridors of the university.
We could say that our promotion made a success because many people besides saw the blog.
We were very glad to carry out this project because it concerned us as a student.
Internet will become a tool overlooked and we wanted to see which were the students’ wishes. The blog enabled us to create a network of exchange which will last in time
To finish, we shared all the four a very pleasant moment because this project was carried out in the good mood and with a great will of our share.
This project enabled us to be responsible by presenting our results to a professional and thus to be judged for our work. We also learned how to work in group.
This project was a very nice experience that we’ve shared all together.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 24-03-2009 06:04
Réponse: data-processing platform/correction de brettdallen, postée le 24-03-2009 à 00:23:21 (S | E)
Bonsoir;
Il est tard, je vous signale ce qui pourrait être amélioré, simplement..
Our project’s realization("The realisation of our project") was a bit complicated because our initial idea was organize one day(organize what? then, use "one day") in a hospital for ill children.
However(cela ne me semble pas approprié. "unfortunately"?) too many “social projects” had(already?) been proposed.
Then we’ve("have", mais ici "we decided") decided to interest us in("get into") the use of the ENT. ENT became(present perfect) a very important tool for the students and the teachers in the last two years.
This data-processing platform enables to refer to our lessons, ("or")our diary for example…we can also communicate with our teachers if we have any question about a lesson.
Internet will have more and more an important place ("a more and more important role")in teaching in the future and ENT is a proof of that.
We wanted to focus on students waiting’s (" 'expectations")concerning this platform.
We thus carried out a survey. This survey highlighted a real students’ waiting: we’ve noted a great interest for("in") this new way of teaching but students consider that this platform is unfinished.
Once the results established, we’ve met MR. LEMOINE who works for the “data-processing network” department of the Université d’Auvergne and have presented him all our results. He seemed to be happy of our work.
But then we’ve discovered a main issue with the ENT: once the students will have left the Université d’Auvergne, they will not be able to have any more (position)access to all information of the ENT.
This is why we’ve decided to create a blog with all necessary information for a >student(pluriel).
To make known our blog(awkward!), we carried out advertizing ("made" is enough)posters which we stuck everywhere in the corridors of the university.
We could say that our promotion made a success because many people besides
saw("have seen") the blog.We were very glad to carry out this project because it concerned us as a student(pluriel).
Internet will become a tool overlooked and we wanted to see which were the students’ wishes. The blog enabled us to create a network of exchange which will last in time
To finish, we shared all the four("the four of us", au début de la phrase)a very pleasant moment because this project was carried out in the good mood and with a great will of our share.
This project enabled us to be responsible by presenting our results to a professional and thus to be judged for our work. We also learned how to work in group(d'accord, ou "in a team").
This project was a very nice experience that we’ve("have" ou rien du tout) shared all together.
Désolé, je n'ai pas trop le courage ce soir. Faites déjà les modifications que je vous propose.
Cordialement.
Réponse: data-processing platform/correction de gea63, postée le 24-03-2009 à 09:27:13 (S | E)
Merci merci beaucoup pour votre aide precieuse
je vous en suis tres reconnaissante
merci
Réponse: data-processing platform/correction de gea63, postée le 24-03-2009 à 10:04:35 (S | E)
sans vouloir abuser de votre gentillesse, puis je vous demander conseil??
vous m'avez indiquez que
To make known our blog, we made advertizing posters which we stuck everywhere in the corridors of the university
etait inaproprié...
TO ANNOUNCE OUR BLOG, etc.... serait mieux?
To conclude we would say that the four of us shared a very pleasant moment because this project was carried out in the good mood and with a great will of our share
and with strongwill serait mieux?
par ailleurs, veuillez m'excuser mais je n'ai pas compris votre remarque
the students will have left the Université d’Auvergne, they will not be able to have any more (position)access to all information of the ENT.
any more , position? je ne comprends pas ce que vous entendez par la
merci a vous pour votre aide....des gens solidaire et genereux comme vous, il n'en existe plus beaucoup.....
Réponse: data-processing platform/correction de brettdallen, postée le 25-03-2009 à 10:32:20 (S | E)
Bonjour,
J'apporte quelques autres remarques..
Our project’s realization("The realisation of our project") was a bit complicated because our initial idea was(to) organize one day(organize what? then, use "one day") in a hospital for ill children.
However(cela ne me semble pas approprié. "unfortunately"?) too many “social projects” had(already?) been proposed.
Then we’ve("have", mais ici "we decided") decided to interest us in("get into") the use of the ENT. ENT became(present perfect) a very important tool for the students and the teachers in the last two years.
This data-processing platform enables(students) to refer to our("their", si "students") lessons, ("or")our("their") diary("diaries") for example…we can also communicate with our teachers if we have any question about a lesson.
Internet will have more and more an important place ("a more and more important role")in teaching in the future and ENT is a proof of that.
We wanted to focus on students waiting’s (" 'expectations")concerning this platform.
We thus carried out a survey. This survey highlighted a real students’ waiting: we’ve noted("noticed") a great interest for("in") this new way of teaching but students consider that this platform is unfinished.
Once the results established, we’ve(non) met MR. LEMOINE who works for the “data-processing network” department of the Université d’Auvergne and have presented him all our results. He seemed to be happy of("with" ou "about") our work.
But then we’ve(non) discovered a main issue with the ENT: once the students will have left the Université d’Auvergne, they will not be able to have any more (position de "not anymore", en général, fin d'énoncé ou tout du moins, après le complément)access to all information of the ENT.
This ("That")is why we’ve(non) decided to create a blog with all necessary information for a >student(pluriel).
To make known our blog(awkward!)("In order to let students know about our blog"/"So as to advertize our blog, we made..."), we carried out advertizing ("made" is enough)posters which we stuck everywhere in the corridors of the university.
We could say that our promotion made a success because many people besides saw("have seen") the blog.
We were very glad to carry out this project because it concerned us as a student(pluriel).
Internet will become a tool overlooked(what do you mean?) and we wanted to see which were the students’ wishes. The blog enabled us to create a network of exchange which will last in time
To finish, we shared all the four("the four of us", au début de la phrase)a very("the four of us had a very good time working together") pleasant moment because this project was carried out in the good mood and with a great will of our share("everyone's will").
This project enabled us to be responsible by presenting our results to a professional and thus to be judged ("assessed")for our work. We also learned how to work in group(d'accord, ou "in a team").
This project was a very nice experience that we’ve("have" ou rien du tout) shared all together.
Il y aurait encore à corriger, mais cela suffira pour le moment.
Cordialement.
Réponse: data-processing platform/correction de gea63, postée le 25-03-2009 à 13:12:44 (S | E)
merci merci beaucoup
je rends ce devoir demain
merci de votre aide et de votre generosité
bonne continuation
INDISPENSABLES : 