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Rédaction expressing anger
Message de toxictears18 posté le 07-10-2009 à 23:02:17 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je poste cette petite rédaction exprimant la colère ,et j'aimerais que vous me releviez les fautes s'il y en a merci.
I can't stand betrayal,that has begun when I was in high school they revealed my secret to everyone,Now,I must be hiding.
I they all let me down especially my best friend. Now I can't stand the sight of them.
If i had a weapon,I would kill them. maybe I need to take revenge.I try to contain myself when I see them. I want to harm them and see them bursting into tears and begging my forgiveness Sometimes,I think the world is ruled by betrayal.
You have to admit the world is decayed.Humans being are the worst creature who has never put on earth .
I hope one day,It would change or the planet would explose Unfortunately Humans are corrupted and we are heading to disaster
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Modifié par bridg le 08-10-2009 06:08
Message de toxictears18 posté le 07-10-2009 à 23:02:17 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je poste cette petite rédaction exprimant la colère ,et j'aimerais que vous me releviez les fautes s'il y en a merci.
I can't stand betrayal,that has begun when I was in high school they revealed my secret to everyone,Now,I must be hiding.
I they all let me down especially my best friend. Now I can't stand the sight of them.
If i had a weapon,I would kill them. maybe I need to take revenge.I try to contain myself when I see them. I want to harm them and see them bursting into tears and begging my forgiveness Sometimes,I think the world is ruled by betrayal.
You have to admit the world is decayed.Humans being are the worst creature who has never put on earth .
I hope one day,It would change or the planet would explose Unfortunately Humans are corrupted and we are heading to disaster
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 08-10-2009 06:08
Réponse: Rédaction expressing anger de wesleym, postée le 08-10-2009 à 14:40:36 (S | E)
I can't stand betrayal: it started when I was in high school. They revealed my secret to everyone. Now,I must be hiding [?](Now I just hide)
They all let me down especially my best friend. Now I can't stand the sight of them.
If I had a weapon, I would kill them. Maybe I need to take revenge. I try to contain myself when I see them. I want to harm them and see them bursting into tears and begging my forgiveness. Sometimes, I think the world is ruled by betrayal.
You have to admit the world is rotten. Human beings are the worst creatures ever put on earth .
I hope one day, it might change or the planet would explode. Unfortunately humans are corrupt and we are heading toward disaster!
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What's this piece of writing for? Ou est-ce-que t'as trouve telle inspiration?
Réponse: Rédaction expressing anger de toxictears18, postée le 08-10-2009 à 21:31:03 (S | E)
je l'ai trouvé dans ma petite tète l'inspiration sinon c'est pour une rédaction exprimant la colère par contre dans le dictionnaire javais lu we are heading toward disaster! enfin peut être il y a plusieurs choix possible
Réponse: Rédaction expressing anger de toxictears18, postée le 08-10-2009 à 21:34:55 (S | E)
pardon j'avais lu juste we are heading to disaster
Réponse: Rédaction expressing anger de brettdallen, postée le 08-10-2009 à 22:23:23 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Parlons de la colère...
I can't stand betrayal(point d'exclamation)
I they all(Traduisez "Tout le monde") let me down especially(traduisez "même") my best friend. Now I can't stand the sight of them.
If i had a Lien Internet
MISE EN FORME AVANCEEweapon,I would kill them. maybe I need to take revenge.I try to contain myself when I see them. I want to harm them and see them bursting into tears and begging my forgiveness Sometimes,I think the world is ruled by betrayal.
You have to admit the world is decayed.Humans beingS are the worst creatureS who has never(en positif! "ever") put(choisissez un autre verbe et surtout, mettez-le au passif! "Be + participe passé") on earth .
I hope one day,It would change or the planet would explose Unfortunately Humans are corrupted and we are heading to disaster
Je n'ai fait que signaler et vous laisse le gros du travail, mais c'est le vôtre! et cette colère l'est aussi!
Cordialement.
Réponse: Rédaction expressing anger de brettdallen, postée le 08-10-2009 à 22:24:23 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Désolé, il y a du bug dans l'air...
Réponse: Rédaction expressing anger de toxictears18, postée le 08-10-2009 à 23:18:36 (S | E)
laquelle des deux corrections est la mieux ,dans une corrupt est corrigée dans l'autre on me laisse corrupted
Réponse: Rédaction expressing anger de toxictears18, postée le 08-10-2009 à 23:24:24 (S | E)
et surtout est ce who has never been on earth ou ever put on earth
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