Misunderstanding

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Misunderstanding
Message from huila posted on 17-11-2009 at 02:09:00 (D | E | F)
This is some pharease in an invitation letter:

"You must be treated as one of our family memeber, so you needn't act seriously at my home. Help youself"

I wonder in western countries, will it arouse some misunderstanding?

Re: Misunderstanding from seb06000, posted on 17-11-2009 at 05:35:39 (D | E)
Hello,

To me indeed 'you needn't act seriously' is ambiguous or rather ironical perhaps the modal structure 'need' is the reason!

Regards

sebastien

Re: Misunderstanding from smartway, posted on 17-11-2009 at 15:10:01 (D | E)
hello,
according to me you should say:
,so you don't need to act seriously at my home.

Re: Misunderstanding from gerondif, posted on 20-11-2009 at 15:49:56 (D | E)
Hello Huila,

"You must be treated as one of our family memeber, so you needn't act seriously at my home. Help youself"

I suppose the message means:

You will be treated as one of our family members, so you don't have to act seriously at my home // you needn't behave seriously at my home // you don't have to watch yourself at my home // you don't have to pay attention to your behaviour at my place.

The phrasing is a little heavy.

Maybe it would be clearer to say:

"you will be treated as one of our family, so you needn't worry: be yourself ! /You can be your usual self !/ Behave as usual !"

for me "Help yourself" means : Take what you like (food, drink, etc)

Re: Misunderstanding from seb06000, posted on 20-11-2009 at 16:14:18 (D | E)
To Smartway:

You don't need or You needn't means exactly the same. Need can be employed as any modal ( must or will).

The only difference might be about the language: Needn't sounds more refined and literate that ' don't need'.*

Therefore to answer to the core subject: both structures can't used in here because of their ambiguity!

Case closed, sorry for any inconvenience

Sébastien

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Edited by seb06000 on 20-11-2009 16:14

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Edited by seb06000 on 20-11-2009 16:16

Re: Misunderstanding from rubychen, posted on 24-11-2009 at 10:28:51 (D | E)
In my opinion, this sentence means that our family are very familiar with you ,so we treat you as our family's member. And now that you are our family member,so you don't need to feel uncomfortable.

Re: Misunderstanding from brest_flo, posted on 24-11-2009 at 11:14:11 (D | E)
I agree with the suggestions given here by Gerondif, they sound better and obviously fit what is meant in the former sentence.
I don't ~~suite a~~ quite as much agree with Seb06000 saying 'You don't need or You needn't means exactly the same' though.
'You don't need to act' would imply that the person has not done anything yet (and hence doesn't have to).
Whereas 'You needn't act' would imply the person has already started acting (meaning it shouldn't be so).

Re: Misunderstanding from gerondif, posted on 24-11-2009 at 18:57:54 (D | E)
Hello, brest flo,

for me, "you don't need to act" and "you needn't act" mean the same if it is some advice given about the future.

"You don't need to come tonight, you needn't come tonight" are roughly the same. Needn't as a modal is more "dangerous" to use because it only exists in the interrogative or the negative at the present tense whereas the regular verb "to need" can be used at any tense.

"He didn't need to come and so he didn't come", roughly equivalent to
"He didn't have to come and so he didn't come" is of course different from:

"He needn't have come but he came all the same" where you could also say:
"He shouldn't have come but he came all the same."

I don't "feel" any difference in the present tense but I'm not a native speaker.

Re: Misunderstanding from mapdark, posted on 28-11-2009 at 07:06:40 (D | E)
You don't need to act so formally inside my home.

formal means something classy , that demands decorum.

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